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About


Name: Bahamut "Mancakes" Zero
Blood Type: ICE
Fighting Style: MAVERICK
Favorite Stance: legalize it.
Weapon of choice: Christopher Walken
Drug of choice: crack. mostly crack.
1st Alternate Drug of choice: huffin' duster
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Mood: Better than a tranny pequeno Amy Winehouse



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This may not be news to everyone, but I actually though I enjoyed GTA the first time around. Now I realize why I got bored. I went back to play it for a day or two recently, and:

★The Controls are a goddam nightmare.
★I CAN INDENT THINGS
★auto-aim is horrific, targeting enemies and civilians in a room full of npcs, cannot toggle between autoaim and manual aim
★Nico might as well be on ether for his speed and turn response
★"Cover" mechanic is a joke. you cannot come out of "cover" to aim, only to simultaneously aim and shoot, which 90% of the time results in nico shooting like he's legally blind.
★The AI IS DUMBER THAN THAT GIRL I FUCKED WITH A SACK OF DOORKNOBS AND GAVE BIRTH TO A HA:F HUMAN HALF DOORKNOB. That's what it's dumber than. not her. the doorknob baby.
★The cellphone and email mechanics are FUCKING DUMB. I deal with SHIT phone calls and SHIT emails IN MY REAL LIFE. I DO NOT PLAY VIDEOGAMES TO RESPOND TO MOTHER-FUCKING EMAILS. I play them to SHOOT people, WHICH IS NOT FUN OR SATISFYING IN THIS GAME.
★the save system fucking sucks, as usual, and it takes fifteen minutes to get back to a mission where you died because you got stuck on a piece of geometry. The "cab" mechanic, while "cute" "in theory," is actually a "huge pain in the ass"

0/10 beers



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Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


apparently, I cannot indent things.
Yeah, played GTA4 when it came out, was amazed for a bit, then played SR2 and remembered what a fun game was supposed to be.
Game was overrated IMO. It felt like a tech demo of things to come.
I came for the opinion but stayed for the stars
God I love your blogs.
Sometimes I almost enjoy this game, and then I don't. It's an annoying feeling.
'Tarded ass blog.
I dunno. I sorta like the game. It has some redeeming qualities.

Protips:
★ Do not use auto-aim.
★ You can execute a quick 180 by pressing in the right stick to reverse the camera, then pressing left trigger to aim.
★ Always aim for the head.
★ Cheesy vagina!
Lost and Damned made me really appreciate it.

GTAIV is good, but not all it could be.
★★★I gotta believe!★★★
The only thing that really bothered me about GTA4 is that it times it felt like a crappy sims clone. With guns.
The only thing keeping me from playing TLAD is that Saint's Row 2 had things to do in the game!
The Brotherhood of No strikes again!!!!
After GTA 3 I stopped giving a shit about these games. Same thing with more and more band-aids added on. Booooring.
The controls are pretty good. And you can manually aim by just lightly squeezing the trigger instead of holding it. Try it out.

Everything else is fair game, although I wouldn't rank it on any meaningful level of importance, except the save system, which truly is goddawful.
Stars are tasty!

@IronPikeman:

Good God, your right!!!
GTAIV was fucking terrible.

Ugh. I forced myself to finish it because I paid fullprice for it (something I very rarely do), and it was torture by the end.
Saint's Row 2 was much better.
I once followed an NPC and listened to this conversation she wa having with her grandmother.

I've also played GTAIV COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN vCOUSIN COUSIN COUSIN
gtaiv is the best thing to happen to the series. The rest suck balls.
I want pics of this alleged doorknob baby.
I loved it when I first played it, but then I played Saint's Row 2 and I realized how shitty GTAIV was in comparison(in terms of gameplay at least).
You're about a year late to the GTA4 hate party, brah; better luck next time.
Word up on the god damned emails and phone calls.
I agree on all your points. At first I was impressed with the size of the world, but then it just got annoying and tedious. It felt like work to finish the game.
This just in, GTA4 is the new Brad Nicholson.

And no, I'm not trying to say anything bad about Brad. Bahamut knows what I mean.
Can't argue with stars as bullet points.
I see what you did there.
Red Dead Revolver is on the way. No email or cellphones in the wild west.
AND YET it is a near perfect game according to critics. Oh and Im still pissed off that David Hayter lost the award to the voice actor of Niko at the VGA's. I DONT GET IT! Im not a big open world guy, but when I played this game I really didn't think they changed much from the other GTA 3D games I have played on ps2. Hopefully Prototype and Infamous will be better :)
AGREED. After I exhausted the typical police chases, I was basically done with it. I've never found GTA missions to be fun. Maybe because you seem to play them as much as a Stuntman course.
I agree. It SUCKS.
I agree with this review. Saints Row 2 is the superior game.
This piece speaks the truth. GTA4 was a queef.
GTAIV is like felching.

Cute in theory, but ultimately a huge pain in the ass.
My child, I am here to ask you: have you accepted Saints Row 2 as your personal savior? Please accept this copy of The BiatchTower...it will change your life *flees from angry pitbull*.
However, GTA 4 was among if not the best selling game of last year. Discuss!
And that's why I haven't and will not play it, just about all my complaints are listed up there.
I liked it. To each his own, I guess.
oh yeah, saints row 2 was far far superior. in fact, I think that's the game that made me realize how much gta4 sucked.

Niero - I will give it a few points

- the story and writing / cut scenes are above average. it's a shame the gameplay has such huge flaws
- it has/had a huge installed fanbase
- it was well (over)hyped
I like Saints Row 2, but it runs terribly on PC. So terrible that I can only run it on minimum settings whereas I can run Crysis on medium just fine.
Never finished it, just seems like the same old GTA to me.
Brad Nicholson gonna whip yo ass
I didn't care for GTA4 either. Chinatown Wars is doing well so far (aka- i'm about 25% in and it's still holding my attention).
I'm afraid I'm not aboard this hate train for GTA4

now I would be lying if I said there weren't some disappointments (the thing that probably bothered me the most was that the graphics weren't as good as screens and vids led me to believe) and San Andreas still remains the best GTA so far...

but still, the story and characters were great, the city was amazing, the radio stations were great and I loved the little touches like the in-game internet and TV stations

on a side note, I loved Saints Row 2 also
Do you like fish sticks?

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