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Name: Bahamut "Mancakes" Zero
Blood Type: ICE
Fighting Style: MAVERICK
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Weapon of choice: Christopher Walken
Drug of choice: crack. mostly crack.
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Mood: Better than a tranny pequeno Amy Winehouse

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You know what? GTA4 IS A TERRIBLE GAME
BahamutZero \| 12:50 AM on 03.31.2009	50 comments

This may not be news to everyone, but I actually though I enjoyed GTA the first time around. Now I realize why I got bored. I went back to play it for a day or two recently, and:

★The Controls are a goddam nightmare.
★I CAN INDENT THINGS
★auto-aim is horrific, targeting enemies and civilians in a room full of npcs, cannot toggle between autoaim and manual aim
★Nico might as well be on ether for his speed and turn response
★"Cover" mechanic is a joke. you cannot come out of "cover" to aim, only to simultaneously aim and shoot, which 90% of the time results in nico shooting like he's legally blind.
★The AI IS DUMBER THAN THAT GIRL I FUCKED WITH A SACK OF DOORKNOBS AND GAVE BIRTH TO A HA:F HUMAN HALF DOORKNOB. That's what it's dumber than. not her. the doorknob baby.
★The cellphone and email mechanics are FUCKING DUMB. I deal with SHIT phone calls and SHIT emails IN MY REAL LIFE. I DO NOT PLAY VIDEOGAMES TO RESPOND TO MOTHER-FUCKING EMAILS. I play them to SHOOT people, WHICH IS NOT FUN OR SATISFYING IN THIS GAME.
★the save system fucking sucks, as usual, and it takes fifteen minutes to get back to a mission where you died because you got stuck on a piece of geometry. The "cab" mechanic, while "cute" "in theory," is actually a "huge pain in the ass"

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47 comments | showing # 1 to 47

BahamutZero

apparently, I cannot indent things.

CapnCrunk

Yeah, played GTA4 when it came out, was amazed for a bit, then played SR2 and remembered what a fun game was supposed to be.

Red TheHaze Veron

Game was overrated IMO. It felt like a tech demo of things to come.

Niero

I came for the opinion but stayed for the stars

13thDragon

God I love your blogs.

CWal37

Sometimes I almost enjoy this game, and then I don't. It's an annoying feeling.

vexed alex

'Tarded ass blog.

Danmartigan

I dunno. I sorta like the game. It has some redeeming qualities.

Protips:
★ Do not use auto-aim.
★ You can execute a quick 180 by pressing in the right stick to reverse the camera, then pressing left trigger to aim.
★ Always aim for the head.
★ Cheesy vagina!

nukka jdav

Lost and Damned made me really appreciate it.

GTAIV is good, but not all it could be.

bluexy

★★★I gotta believe!★★★

CAVE

The only thing that really bothered me about GTA4 is that it times it felt like a crappy sims clone. With guns.

Maurice Tan

The only thing keeping me from playing TLAD is that Saint's Row 2 had things to do in the game!

IronPikeman

The Brotherhood of No strikes again!!!!

Teen Idol

After GTA 3 I stopped giving a shit about these games. Same thing with more and more band-aids added on. Booooring.

UglyDuck

The controls are pretty good. And you can manually aim by just lightly squeezing the trigger instead of holding it. Try it out.

Everything else is fair game, although I wouldn't rank it on any meaningful level of importance, except the save system, which truly is goddawful.

AgentMOO

Stars are tasty!

FalconReaper

@IronPikeman:

Good God, your right!!!

AKK

GTAIV was fucking terrible.

Ugh. I forced myself to finish it because I paid fullprice for it (something I very rarely do), and it was torture by the end.

RonBurgandy2010

Saint's Row 2 was much better.

Tubatic

I once followed an NPC and listened to this conversation she wa having with her grandmother.

I've also played GTAIV COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN COUSIN vCOUSIN COUSIN COUSIN

Pyroph

gtaiv is the best thing to happen to the series. The rest suck balls.

Jordan Devore

I want pics of this alleged doorknob baby.

Diverse

I loved it when I first played it, but then I played Saint's Row 2 and I realized how shitty GTAIV was in comparison(in terms of gameplay at least).

notdryad

You're about a year late to the GTA4 hate party, brah; better luck next time.

Rational Animal

Word up on the god damned emails and phone calls.

sickNasty

I agree on all your points. At first I was impressed with the size of the world, but then it just got annoying and tedious. It felt like work to finish the game.

Jonathan Holmes

This just in, GTA4 is the new Brad Nicholson.

And no, I'm not trying to say anything bad about Brad. Bahamut knows what I mean.

Jesus H Christ

Can't argue with stars as bullet points.

PappaDukes

I see what you did there.

10BobMarleys

Red Dead Revolver is on the way. No email or cellphones in the wild west.

pascuz46

AND YET it is a near perfect game according to critics. Oh and Im still pissed off that David Hayter lost the award to the voice actor of Niko at the VGA's. I DONT GET IT! Im not a big open world guy, but when I played this game I really didn't think they changed much from the other GTA 3D games I have played on ps2. Hopefully Prototype and Infamous will be better :)

-----

AGREED. After I exhausted the typical police chases, I was basically done with it. I've never found GTA missions to be fun. Maybe because you seem to play them as much as a Stuntman course.

AlucardX24

I agree. It SUCKS.

Usedtabe

I agree with this review. Saints Row 2 is the superior game.

BulletTrain

This piece speaks the truth. GTA4 was a queef.

Overcrowd

GTAIV is like felching.

Cute in theory, but ultimately a huge pain in the ass.

ikiryou

My child, I am here to ask you: have you accepted Saints Row 2 as your personal savior? Please accept this copy of The BiatchTower...it will change your life *flees from angry pitbull*.

Niero

However, GTA 4 was among if not the best selling game of last year. Discuss!

grafkhun

And that's why I haven't and will not play it, just about all my complaints are listed up there.

Samit Sarkar

I liked it. To each his own, I guess.

BahamutZero

oh yeah, saints row 2 was far far superior. in fact, I think that's the game that made me realize how much gta4 sucked.

Niero - I will give it a few points

- the story and writing / cut scenes are above average. it's a shame the gameplay has such huge flaws
- it has/had a huge installed fanbase
- it was well (over)hyped

Eschatos

I like Saints Row 2, but it runs terribly on PC. So terrible that I can only run it on minimum settings whereas I can run Crysis on medium just fine.

Puppy Licks

Never finished it, just seems like the same old GTA to me.

Atlas

Brad Nicholson gonna whip yo ass

themizarkshow

I didn't care for GTA4 either. Chinatown Wars is doing well so far (aka- i'm about 25% in and it's still holding my attention).

The Amazing Shenazin

I'm afraid I'm not aboard this hate train for GTA4

now I would be lying if I said there weren't some disappointments (the thing that probably bothered me the most was that the graphics weren't as good as screens and vids led me to believe) and San Andreas still remains the best GTA so far...

but still, the story and characters were great, the city was amazing, the radio stations were great and I loved the little touches like the in-game internet and TV stations

on a side note, I loved Saints Row 2 also

Snoopbob2006

Do you like fish sticks?

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