http://www.local10.com/news/13466229/detail.html


"HIALEAH, Fla. -- A teenager with a brown belt in karate used a samurai sword to scare off a burglar who was after his PlayStation 3 video game console."

So, apparently, we have case #243859 of people with autism attempting a life of crime. It says in the article "The burglar found the empty PlayStation 3 box and ran out of the room, but Damian was waiting for him with a sword." Suggested advice for burglars:

Point #1 - if a box is empty, do not steal it. It does not contain magical valuables lighter than air

Point #2 - The PS3 is a failing console worth less than retail on ebay, and is not fun to play. Get a wii, and then practice sword fighting on red steel before you take on the halfling samurai teenage orc of pwning.

Point #3 - "The burglar ran out of the house with Damian chasing him down the road. When police arrived, a K-9 officer located the burglar hiding behind a neighbor's palm tree. The second burglar got away."

Do not hide behind palm trees. Even if you are autistic, usually a bush is better at concealing you. You cannot slip into 2D like Paper mario, no matter how anorexic you become.

Point #4 - when stabbed in the chest with a samurai sword by a teenager after stealing the empty box for his PS3, just keep running. Do not pause to admire the neighbor's beautiful azealeas from behind your palm-shielded fortress of solitude.

I am surprised he was able to defend himself properly without formerly training on the murder simulator. I guess sixaxis provides just enough murder to be useful. Maybe, Mr. Jack Thompson, we should be giving more ps3s to our youth in lieu of guns. There are fewer bystanders killed from sword violence than any other death sport.