DISCLAIMER: I found the following poem in a file on a computer in my digital photography class. It was not written by me and has not been edited in any way.
It is terrible. Enjoy.
Did you think calling me a nerd would offend me?
BAAAAAAAAAM! Frag out. You’re dead. You think you can play? (hah) You couldn’t work a sniper to save your… past, life. Sure we’re both jocks, but you can’t compete in my game. You play football and I play UT, so suck it you lamer.
Oh, I’m sorry you couldn’t understand that, “Brad”, maybe ill type slower after killing you next time.
I hate it when people call me a nerd thinking I’m some 5’4’’ kid with glasses that couldn’t get laid if his breath smelled like chloroform. I’m 6 foot everything bitch, I’ll take you on the court, and in NBA Live 2008.
Yeah I’m proud to be a nerd, a geek, a dork. But don’t fit me to the mold the carbon copy. Sure I’ll watch speed runs till three in the morning, Appreciating true skill, and I’ve talked football and eat chili on Sunday’s, Appreciating true skill I just prefer to spend my time playing videogames and using my computer, Than being drunk and throwing up on myself.
I’m proud to be a gamer, a so called winning “loser”. Cause as much as you beat up some of us, we’re passing our classes, And while you work your bicep we work our brains, our mind games. Cause even you can button mash, but we can make you think what we want, And that’s power. So work those biceps, I’m sure that will help you carry my groceries.
I’m hip, slick, gamer, glamour, Shiek; switching to Zelda, a meld a’ characters and memories and enemies I’ve vanquished. I am the story, the Vagrant Story, of Heros, ofMight and Magic, never once making Fable of my deeds, I Command and Conquerthe world, the Super Mario World.
There have been times though, times at low health, with no more extra lives. Stuck in the same loop of good beats bad with oversized sword, Or saving the same dumb chick over and over again, Or realizing that maybe we don’t need to kill every last one of the guards, When I think, why the hell am I wasting my life?
This happens to every gamer, every nerd, in fact I’d argue anyone who has ever played more than one videogame, Has asked this of themselves. It’s a question a basketball player may ask himself when he realizes he’s Been throwing an orange ball in a hoop his whole life, Or a Football player really thinking about how he’s carrying an odd shaped ball into a heavily guarded 160x10 piece of grass. So I guess we’re not that different. Because I know for a fact, every professional and every hobbyist Snaps out of it like a football and like Sonic fresh from a spring
Saying a game isn’t important is telling me that my life wasn’t shaped around my childhood, cause I know Sigmund Freud thinks so. The games I played as a kid shaped me, molded me, changed me into what I am now, A gamer, an appreciate of art.
Yes games are art, cause as much as congress wants to ban all violent videogames, They don’t say shit about a violent movie, or a violent policy. None of them have even played Grand Theft Auto, They don’t get it! Until you’ve hit a turn going seventy while shooting it out with the gansta’s that are trying to gun you down for getting you’re life back and then hit a guard rail and get set flying into a river, I don’t want you to give your opinion about it. It’s like modern art. If you don’t know what it is, you think is just colors thrown on a canvas, When you could be looking at a Hendrik Smit, a modern artist.
And when you say games don’t move you I say I’ve cried during three movies in my life time, and I’ve cried during at least ten games. A videogame isn’t just a minded less sequence of buttons. Haven’t you ever played Final Fantasy haven’t you ever dreamed. Well I have, cause I’m human.
So when people ask me if I’m a nerd I say yeah, and I expect the same result you’d give to anyone wasting their life doing something “trivial” Like sports, or creating, or living or loving or breathing or dying.
OK. Listen anonymous kid, I like games, but we need to be honest here -- living, loving, breathing, and possibly even dying are a little more important.
Because intelligent doesn't necessarily mean artistically talented. That's why.
I don't think this person wrote this to win an award or anything, I think he's just frustrated with being picked on because of his hobby. He sounds like he's pretty passionate about games which I wouldn't necessarily count as a mark against him.
[i]I’m hip, slick, gamer, glamour, Shiek; switching to Zelda, a meld a’ characters and
memories and enemies I’ve vanquished. I am the story, the Vagrant Story, of Heros, of Might and Magic, never once making Fable of my deeds, I Command and Conquer the world, the Super Mario World.[/i]
Epic failure. Anyways, the above quote is the only part of this poem I thought was any good. The rest was god awful but worth the read for the lols involved.
The poet actually elaborates on his position in the fourth and fifth stanzas regarding his dual identity as both a "nerd" and a sports enthusiast/athlete.
Through lines such as "But don’t fit me to the mold the carbon copy," the poet is clearly yearning to break free of this socially-imposed dichotomy of "nerds" and "jocks." He seeks to reconcile his pursuits in both video game proficiency and athletic prowess in order to establish a more rounded persona for the modern man.
OK, I can't take any more of this...fuck this guy.
pours out some liqueur for my homies: lmao rock villain. but a headline like that makes it sound as if all gamers are the same people. but that was just what i initially saw. horrible poem makes panda sad.
I picture him reading it off a crumpled sheet of paper in a poorly lit club. There are only three or four people at the tables, one of them his mom. An old black man in a beret sits behind him on a stool, playing the bongos as he recites his work.
Man this shit hurts my goddamn head. As a poetry student in college, I've struggled with the concept of game-based poetry more than enough times to realize that it's tough to pull off right (for how to do it properly, see Seth "Fingers" Flynn Barkan's book, "Blue Wizard is About to Die").
This is just plain horrible. I couldn't get halfway through. It seriously killed what little creative drive I have left.
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This needs to be made into a YouTube video ASAP! It's just so horrible. :)
*Gasp* My poem...
O_o
/takes a sip of water
/pours some out for my homies
I can haz dramatic reading YTMND version?
My God...
Wow... that is just on a whole other level. I wanted to stop reading, but I couldn't.
Man, that guy is trying so hard to be profound.
So close and yet so far.
OK. Listen anonymous kid, I like games, but we need to be honest here -- living, loving, breathing, and possibly even dying are a little more important.
Holy shit, this would be awesome "rapped" over a beat. Quick! To the YouTube cave!!
If you need an answer, why gamers can't turn in creative writing (lol)
Answer me this.
Why gamers are the most inteligent people, used by many in their projects. And not the writers.
I had an erection before I read this, now im all floppy...
@Atlandis
Because intelligent doesn't necessarily mean artistically talented. That's why.
I don't think this person wrote this to win an award or anything, I think he's just frustrated with being picked on because of his hobby. He sounds like he's pretty passionate about games which I wouldn't necessarily count as a mark against him.
I don't think I like games anymore.
I always thought the myriad of hentai fanfiction was the reason why gamers shouldn't do creative writing. This poem, though, takes the cake
Turn this into a rap song, please. A bad one.
Good lord. I couldn't get past the third stanza or paragraph or whatever the hell that's supposed to be.
reminds me of a ytcracker song
http://www.ytcracker.com/nes/
[i]I’m hip, slick, gamer, glamour, Shiek; switching to Zelda, a meld a’ characters and
memories and enemies I’ve vanquished. I am the story, the Vagrant Story, of Heros, of Might and Magic, never once making Fable of my deeds, I Command and Conquer the world, the Super Mario World.[/i]
Epic failure. Anyways, the above quote is the only part of this poem I thought was any good. The rest was god awful but worth the read for the lols involved.
I think the worst part of this is that this probably took him a long time to write. And is Brad a non-gamer name?
This is why man invented razorblades.
MY HEAD ASPLODE
I'm so sick of these 'uber' nerds who look down on other socially acceptable things.
YOU CAN LIKE FOOTBALL AND VIDEO GAMES AT THE SAME TIME IT IS OKAY.
At least it's better than the usual high school emo poetry.
I agree with 3vbo.
*puts forehead into palm, sighs loudly*
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT
You're in a digital photography class?
I'm in high school. They require us to take a technology fact.
Someone needs to rap this.
I love how he types "Brad" with quotes. "BRAD" IF THAT'S YOUR REEEALL NAME!
" I'm so sick of these 'uber' nerds who look down on other socially acceptable things.
YOU CAN LIKE FOOTBALL AND VIDEO GAMES AT THE SAME TIME IT IS OKAY."
Yes, yes it is ok. I get laid sometimes, too.
*finger snaps* Word.
The poet actually elaborates on his position in the fourth and fifth stanzas regarding his dual identity as both a "nerd" and a sports enthusiast/athlete.
Through lines such as "But don’t fit me to the mold the carbon copy," the poet is clearly yearning to break free of this socially-imposed dichotomy of "nerds" and "jocks." He seeks to reconcile his pursuits in both video game proficiency and athletic prowess in order to establish a more rounded persona for the modern man.
OK, I can't take any more of this...fuck this guy.
pours out some liqueur for my homies: lmao rock villain. but a headline like that makes it sound as if all gamers are the same people. but that was just what i initially saw. horrible poem makes panda sad.
Oh ... I ... god ...
... terrible ...
I couldn't get though the whole thing...
I want to hear Morgan Freeman recite this "poem"
come on.
at least he doesn't talk about wanting to cut himself...
I think we have a whole failcast show right here...
I demand a dramatic reading.
I made it into a video... lol
Watch my channel for it, it is uploaded and will pop up in a few minutes
http://www.youtube.com/user/lordcodicus
I picture him reading it off a crumpled sheet of paper in a poorly lit club. There are only three or four people at the tables, one of them his mom. An old black man in a beret sits behind him on a stool, playing the bongos as he recites his work.
beatnik style.
i want to hear it. i want to hear it now.. but at the same time i do not. oh woah is me.
Reading this was pure agony, but some of the posts here almost made it worth it. Almost.
YEAH, TAKE THAT YOU STUPID JOCKS!
Please don't hurt me.
geez deadhead how fucking cynical are you? Listen to Mr. Aloof critic, write your own stuff, douchebag.
but meh whatever, it wasn't that great, but it's personal you can't really judge something that's personal.
ok, here it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcmAYjrx2rE
Man this shit hurts my goddamn head. As a poetry student in college, I've struggled with the concept of game-based poetry more than enough times to realize that it's tough to pull off right (for how to do it properly, see Seth "Fingers" Flynn Barkan's book, "Blue Wizard is About to Die").
This is just plain horrible. I couldn't get halfway through. It seriously killed what little creative drive I have left.