If these content packs showed up on the Xbox Live Marketplace or PSN, I would shit bricks.

Title: Fallout 3
Content: Rose Marie’s Baby
Price: 666 Microsoft Points
Synopsis: All of that radiation has to do something to your reproductive system, right? Six months after a one night-stand, Rose tracks you down to help her get rid of the irradiated, feral spawn growing inside her. After tracking down anesthetics, players are forced to terminate the pregnancy in a minigame not unlike lockpicking, only with wire hangers instead of bobby pins.

Title: RezHD
Content: Booby Trap Pack
Price: 420 Microsoft Points
Synopsis: Worried that a loved one of yours is GUI (Gaming Under the Influence)? Fret no longer! The Booby Trap Pack alerts the nearest police station whenever the game is played, sending out an APB on Cheech or Chong. The pack comes with another 250 Gamerscore, including the coveted “Narc!” achievement. WARNING: Snitches may get stitches.

Title: Mirror’s Edge
Content: EA Pride Pack
Price: 800 Microsoft Points
Synopsis: Buying this pack adds absolutely no in-game content. However, it does send your credit card and PIN numbers to EA for their own personal use. Thanks in advance!

Title: Bomberman Live
Content: Xenophobia Bomb-Up Pack
Price: 911 Microsoft Points
Synopsis: This pack includes multiple costumes for you Bomberman or Bomberwoman from around the globe such as a turban or bhurka! Unlike a newer franchise with an adorable mascot, we’re not pussies, so this pack is never going away! NOTE: When using this content pack, all Bomberwomen may not enter the arena unless escorted by Bombermen.

Title: Castle Crashers
Content: That fucking patch
Price: FREE
Synopsis: Online probably works now! *Fingers crossed*

Title: Rock Band
Content: Best of Dire Straits Pack
Price: 1600 Microsoft Points
Synopsis: This track pack includes the best of the kickass Dire Straits. Includes “Sultans of Swing,” “Lady Writer,” “Romeo and Juliet,” “Walk of Life,” and “Brothers in Arms,” among many others. You know this pack would rock intense amounts of face.


Goddam... the West Wing was fucking amazing.