So I started playing Super Mario Galaxy a couple weeks ago, much to my delight. I got the game for Christmas and had been playing other titles for a while. I was a little hesitant to play it, as I had never really gotten into Super Mario 64 back in the day (which I rented), nor had I touched a Mario game since then. Luckily, the game is, for the most part, just as fun as I had heard. But has it really evolved all that much?

The short answer to that question is, no. The Princess is still in another castle, so to speak. The only thing that has changed is that the levels now incorporate some crazy gravity-based puzzles and there are lots of little spherical planets/levels. But honestly… so what? I played levels similar to these on Ratchet & Clank games years ago.

While the game incorporates some rather basic and simple waggle controls, it works. Mario games are platformers first and foremost. I’m glad to see they didn’t throw in too much waggle where it didn’t make sense. Overkill was not the name of the game and I respect that.

However, there are certainly some big problems I have with the game. For the record, the last Wii game I played before U R MR GAY was Metroid Prime 3, and let me tell you, MP3 is the pinnacle of Wii gaming in my eyes, still. That game did pretty much everything right. It had intelligent and meaningful waggle, it had amazing visuals, it had top notch voice acting, and it had a story I was truly entrenched in (albeit I didn’t finish it because I stopped playing for a week and when I went back I couldn’t figure out what the hell I had been doing previously). Mario, on the other hand, just doesn’t cut it for me.



Yeah, Mario’s waggle controls are decent. Yeah, the visuals look like a cartoon. But, there is no voice acting whatsoever. That pisses me off. Mario’s been around for decades. We know what he sounds like. Don’t pull that “project your own voice onto the character” bullshit. EVERYONE knows how Mario talks, so please, make him talk next time!

Also, the camera pisses me off to no end. If you are gonna go and make all these quirky little planet levels where the perspective changes as often as it does either a) make the camera more dynamic and/or DON’T switch the controls so fucking often as I walk over a ledge or b) give me full control of the camera in ALL situations. I don’t wanna walk somewhere that I can’t see where I’m going only to have the game tell me “nope, sorry, can’t actually use the camera controls in this particular spot.” It happened far too often for me to let it slide.



Plus, who the fuck really gave a shit about the story in Galaxy? ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that Mario saves the Princess in the end and hasta defeat Bowser. Am I Right? Am I right? All the game boils down to is a showpiece of “innovative” level design. Everything else takes a backseat. I don’t really appreciate that. I like inventive level design as much as the next guy, but I also appreciate a quality story being told, too. Mario saves the Princess, again. Wait, this time it’s in space! Oh shit, hold the phones! This shit is INNOVATIVE! Sorry, fail. Maybe some voice acting would help add a level of emotion to an otherwise bland storyline? I’m just kicking around ideas here.



In closing, I’ve played roughly 70 of the levels in the game and have no desire to finish the game. I know I’m not gonna collect all 120 of the stars (those damn alternative levels where you race space Mario piss me the fuck off) so what’s the point? I’ve seen quite a few inventive level designs. Why do I need to see 50 more? Is there really gonna be something there that truly blows my mind? Doubtful.

How do you all feel? What incentive do you have in playing a game such as this? And did you feel similarly to me when it came to all the “innovation” that this game was being touted as possessing? What is the point of a game like Mario nowadays when games have become so much more than level design? What about the story? If this wasn’t a Mario game would we still feel as strongly about it? I highly doubt that.