Here, as promised, is the eighteenth portion (including my review and bonus characters) of my in-depth Super Smash Bros. Brawl critique for Rorschach’s contest.

After writing this all out, I realized it is way too long for a single post. I’ll break it down into two characters at a time and release them over the course of the week so you can read who you like at your own leisure.

The following will detail my impressions and thoughts of every character in the final roster, two at a time. So, if you haven’t finished unlocking the entire roster, or have been living under a fucking rock for a couple months, don’t read any further. There may be a surprise or two mentioned herein. I’ll also offer up one or two suggestions for additional characters that I feel should have made the roster or deserve a spot in the next iteration. Enjoy.

Bowser

Bowser is a mixed bag for me. Those who have followed my little series here know I generally enjoy heavy characters. I like the power and the KOs and don’t really care for speed as much as some. I’ve always expected Bowser to simply be better. I feel as though, while he certainly has size, he lacks… oomph.


I think King Koopa needs a crown for an alternate color scheme.

As far as I can remember, Bowser’s moveset hasn’t been changed all that much since his inclusion in Melee. I don’t recognize anything overtly new to his arsenal and while that’s not a bad thing, I like him significantly less than I feel I should. He’s a huge beefy character but the guy just doesn’t have the power I expect him to have. I have legit trouble getting KOs with him. That’s not right.

Overall, Bowser has a pretty decent arsenal. He’s got his fire breath (neutral B), an additional grab (Over+B) which while useful, I feel is redundant. They coulda just made this a regular grab move and added another move, in my opinion. Maybe some kind of goomba summon/toss like Dedede? Give him a little distance attack that, while doing very minimal damage, could act as a single use spring board if you jumped on the goomba’s head? That’d be sweet. Throw in some random koopa summoning and you’ve got me sold.

I like his Down+B butt smash move enough, it’s decent at clearing tight-knit areas, I just don’t use it all that often.

What I really love about the character is how fucking hard it is for people to knock him off. His Up+B recovery, while doing decent damage upon connection, also can cover some serious horizontal and vertical space. I sat playing with my roommate in the room and I consistently had over 200% damage before being KO’d. He can attest. The fucker has mad skills when it comes to staying on. While this is an admirable attribute to have in Smash, I just don’t think he has enough of the other factor that counts, KO potential.

All his special moves are okay. They do more explosive damage when your opponent is at a higher percentage, which makes sense. The problem is that his most effective special move for KOs (his Over+B grab/slam) can be interrupted midair by other fighters. This is ANNOYING AS FUCK. When you have two other fighters harassing you mid-move you can rarely seal the deal. That’s full of fail, in my book.

His general A attacks aren’t really all that powerful either. While they’re good as fully charged Smash attacks, very few of them have the reach and/or general power to be effective enough for my liking. This is a lost opportunity in my eyes. I think they changed this from Melee, but don’t quote me. I get the feeling they’ve nerfed him because I remember him being WAY more powerful in Melee. Whatever.


SPOILER ALERT! Giga Bowser is Cloverfield!

Bowser’s Final Smash is okay I just again don’t think it is effective enough. He transforms into Giga Bowser, which means he’s bigger and more badass. The problem is that he ends up fighting as normal i.e. he retains his sluggish speed and lack of KO potential. This means while slightly more powerful, his moves still don’t get the job done and all that’s added is some of Ganondorf’s purple magical haze to extend the reach. While it sounds good on paper, in practice it doesn’t make him play too differently in Giga form.

**Side Note: When did Bowser ever look this fugly when he grew to Giga form? I played a super huge Bowser in Super Mario Galaxy (albeit I only played half that game) but the dude never turned this evil looking. Did I miss a game where Mario was super serious and life-like or something?**

Bowser = Fail. Give him some more KO-inducing attacks and I’ll be happy. As he stands, the only thing he’s got going for him is his sick ability to stay on the stage (for a heavy). Unfortunately, that’s not enough when there are all around more effective heavies to choose from.

Wario

I remember someone was interested in knowing what I felt about Wario a while back. Well, your answer has come. I really like him. Way more than I anticipated I would.


He looks way too touchy feely for my liking. Brings back bad memories...

Wario started off his career as an evil anti-hero. He’s grown into one quirky mother fucker since then. His WarioWare titles really threw the character for a loop and I think he’s more lovable because of it. His play style in Brawl reflects that and I’m a big fan.

Wario easily has the most whacked out moveset in all of Brawl. The dude’s just off the wall. First, he can bite you (neutral B) which can also be used to digest items. He can also fart (Down+B) on you, and if you save up the move ‘til later in a match he can practically cause a nuke to go off in his pants! He can also whip out a big yellow chopper motorcycle and make you roadkill (Over+B). Oh, and he has a pretty spinner twirl recovery move (Up+B). Yeah. If “WTF?” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you hear that breakdown then you have gotten a hold of much better drugs than I have.

The best part is that every one of those special attacks is decently useful. His chomp can be quasi-spammed for repeated bites (although it can’t be continually used). His fart can clear areas if it’s charged enough AND provide a good laugh for the players. His bike can sweep people off the stage or deal a good amount of damage by hitting people (and the cycle can be destroyed and the pieces used as projectiles). And his recovery spin does okay damage if your opponent is hit with the whole move (from bottom of the spin to the top). He simply has a well rounded arsenal.

Plus, unlike Bowser, Wario’s general A and Smash attacks are pretty powerful. He’s got a great shoulder check with Over Smash+A (possibly while running, I couldn’t tell in my playing with him when it did and did not shoulder check) along with some good smash punches. He’s just a better KO producer than certain other characters, which is key.


BRILLIANT!

**Side Note: His WarioWare stage is BRILLIANT. Whoever decided to include that stage in that manner should get a promotion. As a huge fan of the original title, I was SO excited to see the series represented in such a manner. The best is the “Don’t Move!” where the whole fight comes to a stop. Great stuff.**

Wario’s FS transformation into Super Wario is also pretty damn effective. He dons a cape and mask and moves quicker while also gaining more powerful moves. Considering he was already pretty damn effective at knocking people out, becoming more agile AND more powerful can’t be considered a bad thing by any means whatsoever. Arguably the best “transformation” FS in the roster.

Wario = Win. The dude simply has it goin’ on. He may be a fat bastard, but he’ll knock you the fuck out if you remind him. He’s got a good variety of useful moves AND can smack opponents off the stage with ease. Add to this the fact he’s the only character with two separate sets of duds and you can tell the devs love him as much as everyone else deserves to. He’s a great addition.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for my critique of Toon Link and R.O.B.!

Or read my review of the game!

Or, if you need to catch up on old critiques try these:

First Row:
Mario and DK
Link and Samus
Kirby and Fox
Pikachu and Marth
Mr Game & Watch

Second Row:
Luigi and Diddy Kong
Zelda/Sheik and Pit
Meta Knight and Falco
Pokemon Trainer
Ike and Snake

Third Row:
Peach and Yoshi
Ganondorf and Ice Climbers
Kind Dedede and Wolf
Lucario and Ness
Sonic plus BONUS Knuckles

And my bonus characters who should have made the roster:

Mega Man
Bomberman
See Sonic's critique for Knuckles

Thanks for reading!