March 20, 2008

As promised, today will be about “Super Smash Brothers Brawl.” On a scale from 1 to 10 I honestly can’t give this game anything more than an 8 and because of that I can hear the entire country of Japan committing seppuku as we speak because it’s probably the lowest score anyone has given it. First of let me tell you what is grand about this game. It’s everything “Super Smash Brothers Melee” was and then some. But its ability to be awesome is really hindered by how great SSBM was. Sure there are more characters, more levels, and some new things to do. But all of those new things just rub up against the giant dick of this franchise and then leave it to get blue balls. In fairness I’ll tell you what’s good and bad about the new adjustments; mostly the bad because I’m a cynical asshole.

First stop, characters! HOLY FUCK THERE’S 35 OF YOU?! Wait a second, half of these newcomers look and play like they’re retarded; and some of the others just replaced characters that were awesome from the previous game. Mewtwo becomes Lucario, Roy becomes Ike, Young Link is now Toon Link; but why?! When I learned that just these three characters alone were removed, I was pissed and for good reason. When I played Melee with my friends they set in place one single rule and that rule was I could not play as Mewtwo, to me he was what Oddjob was in Goldeneye- a cheap pile of shit but fun to play as none the less. The only reason I was upset at the loss of Roy is because I would get in to competition with Marth vs. Roy. The same goes for Link vs. Young Link. The fights we had in Melee were epic on the same level as the crusades.

What I really enjoyed about this game is they seemed to put a lot more time and effort in to creating levels. In the past games there was only a select few level that I enjoyed but SSBB has managed to broaden that liking. The only thing I can really make fun of here is the Pokemon Stadium 2 level. Here’s how I see it, let’s say you take a shit that’s worth being proud of, and you happen to call this shit Pokemon Stadium, but then for whatever reason you decide to try and improve upon it by throwing glitter all over it. Just because it’s been slightly altered, doesn’t make it any better.

Let’s not forget what everyone wished they had in SSBM; online play. When I heard that SSBB was online I was eagerly looking forward to play a fresh crowd. But then I jumped on it and was bitch slapped in the face by disappointment. Here’s your options, play with friends and set the game type to whatever you want, or play with random people and be stuck playing two minute rounds. What the fuck?! Isn’t online play supposed to diversify the gaming experience? Why can’t I play with random people and change the options a little bit? Not only that, but if you’re playing with some random person there is no way at all to add them to your poorly created friends list. So you know what I’ve been doing? I’ve been playing strictly with my friends because we’re able to do whatever we want with the options, not only that but we can get in touch with each other, go on our 360’s and start up a chat which makes it oodles more fun to play.

Don’t forget, single player has also been changed a little bit. The adventure mode has been replaced with subspace emissary. Which I don’t mind, in fact I enjoyed playing through SSE, especially with another person. But that’s also where I noticed its flaws; the fact that when you play with two people the first player is dominant in terms of control is shit. They open all the doors, they get to pick more characters when given the choice, and the scrolling map sticks to them like glue. That however was tolerable, but what really pissed me off and whomever else I was playing with was the way the last two lives worked. Let me explain the system, say for example you and your friend are both using the last two lives you have available because your friend sucks as the game he dies first. No big deal, you get to carry on and can finish the mission yourself if necessary. Now let’s switch it around; last two lives and you, the first player, dies first. GAME OVER! Continue? Uh, what? Why the hell can’t the second player try and finish it by himself? Is it because HAL Entertainment believes anyone but first player lacks the intelligence to press up to open a door? Granted SSE isn’t too difficult so this doesn’t happen to often, but when it does it’s frustrating to have your score reduced by half for a completely asinine reason.

On a side not, let me just inform you on the controls. Overall they’re not bad, but with the nun chuck and wand thingy I was having some difficulty at times pulling off smash attacks, so I figured I may as well try my old Gamecube controllers and see how those work. And in my opinion, they’re much better. The only fighting game I can think of that works well with the Wii’s controllers is the Wii sport boxing game, other than that it seems to fall flat on its motion sensing ass. If you have an old Gamecube controller lying around or know someone that does, do yourself a favor and try it out, I’m sure you’ll do better. I’m sick of play with people that suck.

Okay, okay, maybe I seem a little rough on this game, but it’s a really stellar game. If you liked SSBM there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy this as well. I just wish Nintendo would have learned something from Microsoft in the online play department, I believed a more manageable online system would have really made this game even greater.

On a side note, I found this to be humorous.
http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/2770/22949613418c22195077orw1.gif

-Jordan


Edited by: In Reflection 7