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About
Twenty four years ago I was adorable. Now I'm inquisitive and hilarious.



I have a plastic tooth to replace one lost in a mosh pit during my more ridiculous high school years. I speak shitty German and I ride a bike. My Xbox gets so much use, I'm sometimes embarassed. But I'm unemployed, so my time is spent writing blogs on the internet, reading good literary fiction, and playing video games.

In the grand scale of things, I'm a late-bloomer. My parents banned all consoles from my house as a kid. See what you've done? Now I game constantly to make up for years of lost time.

I won't list my favorites, because you've probably seen ten lists like it before me.

There's a life-sized Boba Fett standee in my living room.

No Clip Series:
Grand Theft Auto IV
Fallout New Vegas
Red Dead Redemption

Journalism!:
The Slapstick Cephalopod: An Interview with the Octodad Team
Chicago Night Fights: Marvel vs Capcom 3
Inventing the Paint: An Interview with Author Tom Bissell
Top 10 Greatest Tiny Video Game Characters

Front-Paged Monthly Musings:
Groundhog Day: The Liberty to Pursue
Teh Bias: Critical Errors at Surface Level
Alternate Reality:Time for a new job
Something About E3: Imaginings from 20 Years Ago
The Great Escape: Tiny plastic guitars and wiimotes
My Expertise: Latent Racial Bonus
The Future: Overdoing the Over-the-Top
Love/Hate: A Gentleman's Baffling Love for Collecting Furniture
Nothing is Sacred: Games Taking Themselves Too Seriously

Worth reading:
We Are Destructoid
Writing on the Wall: How Graffiti Builds Universes
Combating Lawlessness in the Wild West of Red Dead Redemption
Being a Coward on Purpose
What Bringing About the Fictional Zombie Apocalypse Taught Me About Game Design
Why Video Game Designers Need to Watch the Road Warrior
The Needless Shit We Gamers Do

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Per-ma-death - noun : The player choice or game mechanic wherein a character dies and remains dead permanently. The player cannot or chooses not to reload, revive, or return to a save with said character.

Respawn. Load Last Save. Return to Main Menu. Seeing these options appear within your game is about as routine as the act of putting a game disc into a tray. With this black or blood-spattered screen – which may go as far as to taunt you with the gratuitously redundant message YOU ARE DEAD - comes a brief and fleeting moment of retrospection. You have just failed in a task. Perhaps it was your fault, perhaps it was the fault of the game, and maybe the fates simply decided everything that could go wrong would do just that and would do it simultaneously. You shake your head for a moment, consider what other things you should be doing today, and then, with a shrug, you jump right back into the fight one more time.

This was you, mourning. That was the length and breadth of the only funeral that particular protagonist will ever receive and it lasted all of four seconds. A digital life snuffed short and now forgotten. It sounds brief and perhaps even unsympathetic, but it was actually a quite fitting requiem for a character whose life span began twenty minutes ago after the last time you died horrifically.

Death is the most common element in quite nearly every video game title in existence. So much so, that we craft whole systems to manage how frequently we perish. Save files, check points, autosaves, save states. The culture of gaming makes one assumption almost unanimously. You will die. A lot. We accept that, because we need consequences for our actions and as difficulty increases we encounter more situations where these consequences shape the decisions we make.



It’s for this very reason that I find the concept of permadeath so interesting. Not just because the act of playing through a game with only a single life is an invariably difficult challenge. It most certainly is. Rather, just by applying this rule to your game, you’ve taken away perhaps the most attractive and fundamental quality of the entire spectrum of video games. Immortality. Once you’ve taken up the challenge, there’s no bigger consequence. You risk losing it all, hours of work, at the mercy of one bad call or a random fluke.

All your effort and enthusiasm and empathy are no longer spread across particular moments, but all come down to that one singular character. His or her fate is now your own too and, from that, the distance between player and character is that much shorter. You are no longer learning from deaths and mistakes, but adapting to the struggle of existence. Every enemy now poses a real and dangerous threat. The result of each decision is harshly absolute. Mercy is a term by which your game no longer abides.

Permadeath is different than your typical stakes-raising difficulty options. It’s a challenge that is purely player enforced. Besides requiring a specific virtual masochism, it also means is that the game can’t adapt to it. It can’t take into account your struggle and adjust the enemies or levels according. It can’t be Left 4 Dead’s AI director. Legions of zombies or henchmen with assault rifles can’t expect you to only have a single life, so they assault the same as they always have; without mercy. The game has no rewards in place for your success and it hasn’t spaced out health and ammo with your cruelly terminal existence in mind.

Admittedly, I can see how this doesn’t sound very appealing. In fact, it runs completely opposite to how most find their enjoyment from their games. For most, the joy of their favorite games isn’t from crippling challenges and brutal consequences. Instead, it’s about escaping these very things in the real world. The joy of gaming comes from winning, getting to be the infallible hero. For the very same reason video games happily offer a multitude of difficulty settings, games are designed with the leeway for everyone to get their kicks from the same framework. But something really powerful can come from upsetting the paradigm of protagonist invincibility.



I still passionately recall tales of playing Fallout: New Vegas with a single life with the same enthusiasm I might tell an exciting story from my own life. I retell the deaths of my mercenary buddies in Far Cry 2 with a twinge of potentially legitimate remorse. The tale of a short-lived permadeath run in Red Dead Redemption becomes an inverted Western, with the hero John Marston struggling against the forces of himself and corruption, but never quite achieving his – well – redemption. Sometimes, it's not even for the emotional or narrative experience. I have a friend who brags about his permadeath completion of Bioshock and that sense of accomplishment is no less remarkable.

But it’s not all about experiences and feelings. Putting all your focus into a single life, even in multiplayer, can have remarkable effects. Normally, the thought of staring down at our comrades through a spectator screen, still in the throes of fun and challenge, troubles us somewhere in our subconscious. So we tighten our grip and phase out the world around us for a few moments. We will ourselves to stay alive. Despite the fact that the death looming over us is imaginary and the blood is pixels, the player experiences the urgency of mortality nonetheless. Not over the loss of life, but of entertainment. Which, in the world of video games, is as paramount as existence.

Restrict the respawns to zero in a game of Rainbow Six terrorist hunt and the results are significantly different than the usual unfocused chaos. Not only do I always do better with the knowledge of only one life looming above me, but all my friends playing alongside me experience an instant change in demanor. The banter fades and is replaced with strategic talk, shouts for back-up, and genuinely mournful bellows upon the death of a comrade. We become not just invested in our own survival, but in keeping our friends alive. Put this sort of imperative to you and your friends' survival and your teamwork will never be stronger.



Increasing the difficulty of a video game in the conventional way is easy. It’s as simple as addiction and subtraction. Add enemies, take away bullets. Add dragons, take away potions. Normally, bolstering a game’s challenge can often be akin to just telling the player to go to the other end of a hallway, giving them a time limit, and then knocking over a few trashcans in their way. But permadeath is something from a different realm entirely.

It doesn’t just make things harder, but makes them different. It injects a powerful sense of significance to every action, applies earnest weight to every choice, regardless of how minute. With it, there is no such thing as a small victory. Your sense of success is bolstered not just with every complete level, but with every individual second you reamin breathing. Just getting your character from one room to the next is enough to make you feel like you’ve already won the game. With permadeath, every sigh of relief or involuntary cheer of success is authentic, poignant, and worth all the difficulty of its achievement. So check your skepticism, dust off a favorite game, and give a peramdeath run a go.
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Brilliant! Best I've read all month.
AWESOME Monthly Musing!!! Loved this.. though to be honest I am not a fan of permadeath in games as it just makes it too much like real life. I don't want to be careful or strategic... I just want to run around and be the idiot taking risks that I don't in my real life.
I've actually gone through entire runs of Resident Evil 1 & 2 with the permadeath rule. It made the games even more tense than they had any right to be, but I remember being killed by William Birkin's first appearence all because of a bad camera angle and being utterly fuming at what had been a flawless run.

Of course, the reason why I had a flawless run was because of repetition and learning what lied ahead. The tension being created was not because of the unknown, but just the idea of having to quit permanently. In the end, that has nothing to do with the game, just the worry of limitations of you and the game.

But hey, you pretty much summed that up with the Left 4 Dead example.

Hell, I don't even want to think about permadeath on Rainbow Six right now! I usually quit out on the first death anyway, but I don't think you can get through an entire game with the reserve squads because they're so useless; plus, all the dead come back for the next game, so it's kind of redundant. The games (bar Takedown and Vegas are designed in such a way that you're supposed to keep everyone alive through the entire campaign. It's pretty subtle in the way they strong-arm you into doing so.
I imagine playing an RPG that utilizes permadeath and just shaking before every battle.

Not a bad thing mind you but I dont know if my lacerated Doberman heart can take it.
It's an interesting idea; though I can say it is definitely not for me. I really liked your description of Rainbow Six and how it changed the way you and your friends played the game.

I think it would be particularly interesting to see how a permadeath game would do saleswise in comparison to a traditional title. Would hardcore gamers embrace it?
I am a supporter of permadeath as well. It gives a considerable weight to all of your decisions and attaches a player to a character in a way that few other methods can. I really like the mechanic in the Fire Emblem games, Final Fantasy Tactics, and Valkyria Chronicles. These are all strategy games, which are wonderful for permadeath, as nothing can be blamed on random variables like the camera or something else a player doesn't have control over. Instead, the players decisions alone determine the fate of the characters. Also, in these games it isn't really the main character that is subject to permadeath, but side characters can be lost, which really makes the player care more about them.
This is really great. I love your articles Ben.

I could never invest the frustration and the effort into a permadeath game. I already get so stressed out with life in general, when I play a game, I play it for a few hours a month just to have fun and relax [ that's all I have time for]. I admittedly hate games that make it too hard for me. Dead space for example, which only saves at checkpoints. I would be way too emotionally wound up in a permadeath scenario. When I die more then three times in succession in a game around the same spot, I give up right there and don't come back to it for a few days. I just get fed up with it and my seeming inability to do it right. So, if I worked hours and hours at a game only to make one stupid mistake, I would probably never go back to that game. [ which, i suppose, is the point ]

I like the idea of it though: The permanent loss of the character. Hours of hard work that only leads to you regretting your decisions if you lead yourself to death. Of course, if it was real life, you wouldn't be around after to tell yourself how stupid you were for running into that one room without checking for monsters or crazy people with guns ahead.

That's the wierd and unappealing part to me of permadeath though. I see this idea as simulating real life in a way. If this was the real life situation your were faced with, there would be no respawns or checkpoints[ and obviously no magical medkits and considerably less time for body looting ] .You play with a different caution knowing that it's not as easy as reloading and trying again if you take too many hits. You think things through more and ration your resources. But, you experience the "full" emotional investment in the character you were playing if you let him/her die, and that's something you would never get to do if you were somehow fighting in the zombie apocolypse etc. etc. in a real life experience. I mean, obviously there are many aspects of the video game that would never apply to real life, but permadeath applies more of a reality to it and that's clearly the unappealing thing about it.

As you stated, that is pretty much why we play games, because it's different from reality but it's a reality that some people wish they could have the courage to experience. It would obviously be incredibly satisfactory if you could make it through the entire game on one life, but for those of us who like to be reckless and trigger happy in video games, it's a discomforting thought.

If the zombie apocolypse were to happen, I've pretty much realized I would hide in a cupboard in fear until I was starving, come out when I thought it was safe, and then be far too clumbsy and hungry to be catious. And I'm far too weak as it is to push a full grown man off of me, hungry scared and emaciated, I would die for sure. Fuck that! Bring on those never wavering immortal heroes so I can pretend to be awesome and strong and a really good headshot.
I still love the notion of Kojima's that made the cartridge of games unplayable once you died. Practical applications would be annoying, but it's a brilliant concept that more and more people should look in to. At least make it a difficulty option.
I like permadeath usually, but in Far Cry 2, I killed all of my buddies right away to see what would happen, thinking they were part of the plot, so I feel I missed out.
I've only tried Permadeath on 2-D platformers on my SNES, and I must say it really amps up the award for me to beat them that way. Another thing I try to do is hold onto the "run" button and "right" on the D-pad without letting go, and it makes the game way more exhilarating. Anyway, great blog!
My friend has been trying unsuccessfully for weeks to get me to make a character for Diablo 2 on Hardcore mode but I can't bring myself to do it. That kind of skill challenge isn't for me, I get too stressed and/or angry.
I agree! Great read! I love permatdeath, I think more games should have that as an option!
Honestly surprised that EVE online didn't even get a mention here. While it's not exactly "permadeath", it probably is the game with the most potentially punishing death system of any game. I mean, an MMO where you can permanently lose hundreds of hours of work due to a miscalculation? Brutal.

Games which aren't designed for permadeath can be fun and all, it just loses some of the appeal to me when the challenge is poorly designed such that it can occasionally throw a cheap death your way and expect the player to be cool with it. That and the fact that NPCs are disposable and have no vested interest like players engaging in PvP. I just wish they made an MMO that used a system like EVE's that...wasn't EVE online.
I'm not at all surprised you picked permadeath for this month's topic. You have a deep seated love for it.

The co-op permadeath seems like an especially interesting spin on it. It seems like it would compound when a few people are involved. Here's a thought: if you have two distinct teams on the same side in a permadeath game, do people on team A care about people on team B? The teams don't really know each other well, but they know they're both working together towards shared success. How hard would a team A member fight to save a team B member? Harder than for a fellow team A member? It seems like an interesting psychological experiment.

If I can be super critical for a moment... having read all your previous blogs, I didn't get a whole lot of new stuff from this one. You did package up many of the interesting sentiments here, though. As always, very well written.
@mrandydixon Your enthusiasm is palpable even though the internet tubes. Respect.

@Elsa Thanks! Yeah, games are so often about escape. But, every so often, it's an exciting switch to engage in some real, harsh gameplay with heavy consequences. If anything, it can make those moments when you're invulnerable and unstoppable even more enjoyable.

@Stevil Combining horror titles with permadeath is not only insane, since they're usually already supremely challenging with a protagonist struggling against ridiculous odds, but it must make the fear quite near pants-ruining.

And I've never really attempted any permadeath runs of any storylines from Rainbow Six games, but the Terrorist Hunt or any of the cooperative stuff is at its best when done with no respawns IMO.

@Occams RPGs are a great source for permadeath since they're so often openworld. You need those sandbox games for it to work at its best. With on-the-rails games, you're too often stuck doing what the game specifically wants you to do. Even if that thing is awesome, it ends up being more frustrated than rewarding playing copy-the-motions.

@Rhuno I doubt many major studios would risk releasing a game with unchangable permadeath rules, but it would be fun to see more games add the difficulty option just for the hell of it. Hardcore gamers love stuff like that, but the market is a lot of casual and, well, un-masochistic players. A lot of the old MUD games were pretty ruthless and had permadeath in some forms, but were still damn popular. But, I suppose, the MUD world was a lot more popular when the game market was a bit thinner with options.
@Enkido Yeah, I adored Valkyria's strictness. Combined with how tough some of the later levels got, it was almost hard to play the game for prolonged segments. The stress got to me.

And the loss of sidecharacters can be just as devastating. Looking back, I wish I'd talked about more here.

@Tesia Coil - Seriously awesome of you to make a profile just to add your thoughts. And I totally get what you're saying. Permadeath can be rewarding, but only in certain places. Other times, it can be stressful and make an otherwise fun game feel more like work. And games like Dead Space already feel stressful and tension-ridden. Permadeath on stuff like that is just torture. But fun torture.

That sounded weird.

And courage is an interesting point. Our protagonists have sort-of built-in courage. They won't falter or wince in battle. And neither will we, since we don't really fear anything with spawns and checkpoints backing us up. So permadeath makes it so we have to be courageous. M

Damn! All this good stuff AFTER I posted.

@manasteel88 - I had to look up what you're talking about, but that rules! Though, I doubt it would sell as well as I'd like it to.

@kid23455 - Hahaha, I laughed so hard at this. I don't know why. Kudos.

@HandsomeBeast - If anything is more punishing than survival horror games, it's 2D platformers. And I like that 'forever run' concept. Really pushes your reaction speed to it's maximum, I bet.

@Yorda - Anger is certainly part of peramdeath. It can almost ruin your day when something goes poorly and you lose all your work. It can often be like that sensation of losing something you've been writing, because you know you can never quite get back to exactly where you were before.

@Kaggen I also agree! Thanks!

@Vali - Overall, I don't think I mentioned enough game examples of permadeath, but you're totally right. EVE is a MAJOR example. I suppose it doesn't help that I never really got into it myself, so any opinion of the permadeath experience in it would be just second-hand.
@knutaf - You get your own comment reply window! +100 exp

I really, really wanted to talk more about co-op permadeath and I nearly did, but it would have taken nearly an entire second article to hit the high points. And I like where you're going on that. I've had a similar experiment idea for a future No Clip, so I'll have to run some ideas by you when I get to that stage.

And I totally agree about your criticism. After looking back at this a day after it was posted, I feel like a bit of a broken record. Limitations in gaming make for rewarding experiences! I get it! I wish I'd injected a few more in-game examples or perhaps dug in deeper on the emotional reactions permadeath can bring.

I suppose, though, judging from reactions I got from people I know that gave it a read, a lot aren't familiar with the experience of playing a permadeath run and some have never even heard of the concept. So, if anything, this post is as best a summation of what this sort of endeavor is like, why it's rewarding, and a gentle nudge for people to give it a try. In that sense, I hope I accomplished at least that.

But, seriously, I can count on you to consistently be my best critic. Destructoid is such an incredible place because dialogues like this start so naturally amongst genuinely smart feedback.

Since I was on my phone earlier and couldn't bring myself to touchpad a longer comment, I'll do so now.

Permadeath scares the shit out of me, just thinking about it. I've toyed with the idea of doing Far Cry 2, Dead Space, Metro 2033, Fallout, etc. permadeath runs, but never had the balls to go through with it. I think you may have just convinced me.

I've been meaning to replay Fallout 3 (both in preparation for New Vegas and because I have unplayed DLC to explore), and I think I might give it a go as soon as I finish some of my backlog (read: in five years). I know it won't be as much of a challenge as, say, Far Cry 2 or even New Vegas, but I think it will be a good starting point!
Very very well written. I wrote about permanence in Demon's Souls a while back, and while it's not quite perma-death, it's still permanence in a very real way. It absolutely does change the experience, and I like it. Even on a smaller scale this can make some games much better for some people. I didn't really like MGS3:Snake Eater until I played on Euro-extreme mode. Hopefully this will become a trend in the industry as developers see the value of permanence and the value of irreversible punishment mechanics :)
Great post!

I understand The Witcher 2 is going to have a hardcore perma-death mode straight out of the box. I never played the first one, but I've been toying with the idea of picking up the sequel when its released and diving straight into hardcore, only relying on in game resources to figure everything out. I don't expect to last long, but I want to see how it feels to play a hardcore mode with no anticipation of what is coming. To have to read every stat and equipment description carefully and try to make the most survivable character/party possible with no meta-gaming or trial and error to rely on. To have to watch every step and try to understand the limits and ability of every enemy.

I am usually pretty frivolous when I play an RPG for the first time. I like to mess around with the weirdo spells, explore areas out of sequence if I can, pick fights. I do a lot of save/load whoring. Its a great way to have fun, and I remember my wandering through the land of Cyrodil as an aimless barbarian or my lunatic tour of the Capital Wasteland with my bomb chucking featherlight vault dweller warmly. When I think its time to get serious though, I've usually seen a lot of what the game has to offer, have a good grasp of what are good tactics, whats really dangerous, ect. I'll pick up some DLC by then, check the games wiki site, find out where that +10 SuperLoot is right off the bat. When I make a more powerful character or play on hard, its not really much of a challenge because I've carefully trained up to it and have a whole internet of info to refer to.

But there is something masochistically appealing about playing a game where the stakes are high right off the bat and everything is totally unknown.
Way ahead of you buddy. I too am a huge fan of perma-death, I practice it in many games and I'd love it if more games included/enforced it. Also, I was going to bring up Rainbow Six as a perfect example of how perma-death is so awesome, but you've said it better than I could of. Anyways, excellent post.

Not quite related, but right now I'm trying to not die in Demon Soul's and Assassin's Creed 2. The latter is easy, although I did desynchronize once because I accidentally fell from a tall building, but that was bullshit on the game's part. The former, is just impossible.
Has anyone played Steel Battalion for Xbox?

You can be 50 hours into that game, but if your mech pilot dies, the game erases your save and you have to start ALL over. Permadeath is placed inside the game automatically.

It's awesome.
I really can't add anything to the dialog going on in this comment section. I just wanted to drop in to say this was an enjoyable read even though I have little to no intention of ever practicing what was discussed in the body of the blog. While I can see how permadeath would add tension and consequences, those aren't really the reason why I game in the first place. I need the relaxation and freedom to make mistakes. It's cathartic.

After all, my actual life is permadeath for real. That's enough tension for me. Nice post, Disco.
@awesome
Holy cow I just reread my post and I can barely make out the point I was attempting to make. Typing on no sleep is really not smart.

I believe developers should have a concept of what death means in their games. Sure it's silly to think of Mario as a permadeath style game, but how about Medal of Honor. They keep striving to make games more and more realistic in presentation, while pushing away from the realism. Maybe they should just tie this to a hard difficulty for those that actually want to gain challenge from the game. Hard difficulty should indeed be something hard and I kind of applaud Fallout for doing something different with difficulty.

On Kojima's plan: In the Gameboy era, Hideo Kojima thought up an idea that he couldn't get anybody to back him up on. He would make a game where the cartridges would actually lock themselves and become unplayable upon player death. This system was highly inefficient with production costs and everything associated with it, but it does speak to creating games that value realism. Unfortunately, the entire market has abandoned the old arcade mentality of paying small increments for your gaming experiences. This idea has become increasingly unrealistic as time moves on.
Nice article, but I personally despise permadeaths. Sure in online games it works well anyways, just a match that's all fun and games, but in a serious game such a thing would constantly piss me off. In many games trial and error is the only way to get through something, so you have to die a couple of times. Depends on the genre though really, lets say I wouldn't care play an RPG or Platformer with the permadeath rule installed. (unless it's Fire Emblem, but I can just start over anyways so that's a different story)

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