I once slept in the same room as Ron, it was fun. He showed me pictures of naked girls and taught me how to tap dance.
But for some reason, I had the urge to rob him.
I stole his Infinity Ward coffee cup from a Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare event in Encino, CA.
The cups never been used. He never had a chance.
WANT TO WIN THIS CUP!!
Rules:
-Write a poem about eating babies.
-Post the poem in this posts comment section.
-Deadline NOVEMBER 10th.
Let the best poem win!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
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Delicious, tender infants
Cannibalistic
WAIT A MINUTE.
Glad you guys got eyes like snipers.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
I LOVE MY NEW KITCHEN GUN.
On my table lies a feast
Of which I will partake
I cannot tame my inside beast
Do babies taste like steak?
A glorious spread; I choose a child
The table, I reach across
Upon my tounge, the taste is mild
This baby needs some sauce
Soon it ends, my hunger sated
Baby bones abound
My feast complete, I am elated
There's one left to feed my hound
Now all is done, I am full, and no more is my debasement
But that's okay, I'm not too sad, there's a bunch more in the basement
FIN
And I am not aware of it
of whom I will eat.
Where do I start,
the head or the feet?
It goes without saying
that it will cry less
if I start with the head,
but that's quite a mess
The brain and the eyeballs
will form a small lake
and hamper enjoyment
Of my little snowflake.
So I pull out some duct tape
and cover the face
it's still getting air
at a medium pace
I crunch down on the foot
filled with muscle and bone
And say right then wow,
this here baby has tone
I chew and I savor
each tendercrisp bite
when the baby looks at me, I say
it's a'ight.
Your parents were careless
they left you at home
with naught but a babysitter
on her cell phone
I murdered her swiftly
(and raped her a bit)
But you, my young child
are my favorite bit.
The kidneys and stomach,
make lovely sweetbread,
but the baby stops moving
as I start on the head.
Oh dear, I do think, picking up the leftovers
The rest will go good with that pizza from Stouffer's.
Your parents are back, and from them I must scurry
for I've made quite a mess and must leave in a hurry.
I'll sneak away quickly,
silent as a mouse,
and plant all the evidence
at Ron Workman's house.
The course of this movement took forever.
His head was crowning out my butthole,
but the size of his head made it uncomfortable.
I pushed and pooped until he was waist deep,
from there I felt kicking in my poop's keep.
I knew my colon couldn't take anymore,
so I bit my lip and shit some more.
The act of eating a baby was very sad,
and when I pooped out Gregor he was clearly mad.
It was all worth it was everything was said and done,
because now I have a shit stained Gregor to eat.
And that will be alot of fun.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Also Farktoid scares me.
Small..Very easy to baste in an oven
Also easy to deepfry...and rost on a stick over an open fire...
Goes amazingly well wioth any side of fries, baked potato or salad...
Roasted babies....slather on some BBQ sauce and enjoy...
Fried babies...toss it between two peices of bread and u have a tasty sandwhich...
Roasted babies....just eat em straight from a stick...
cooked babies....americas greatest delight!
------
it sucks, i know...
Slit me up a treat
Trouble with the law if they find what's in my chaw.
Babies.
But what's a guy to do?
Babies in my stew
They keep me young and lean
Like Bai Ling in 3 Extremes.
Eatin' Babies.
I'm not saying it's right.
(In Johnny Rotten voice) BUT THEY DON'T CARE![/poem]
For serious though if you got to eat somebody, might as well be a baby somebody.
Have you met a baby? Man, they really don't care.
Tastieh
How does that not qualify?