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Aurvant avatar 11:56 AM on 07.28.2008  (server time)
E3 '08 impression - Bad idea edition

Yes, I know it's late but I was on vacation that week and I'm also really lazy. thankfully Comic-Con hasn't been a suckfest so I don't expect to have to write up a scathing opinion on it.

See that video up there? It's filled with all types of bad ideas. Generally, all of life is filled with ideas that seem good at the time but in hindsight you usually realize that your plans of past genius end up being ends of pure future fail. That's kinda how I felt about E3 this year and by the looks of about 90% of the internets everyone else did too. Since I live to damn far away to have ever gone to an E3 event it didn't really bother me that they switched from a public event to a press event, but at the time that they announced it I couldn't help but feel that everything was going down hill.

This years E3 only served to prove my point and firmly place the impression upon me that any other E3 after it will just continue to exponentially suck. Which, in case you were wondering, means that each year following this one will just suck more than the year before it.....usually by 50% more suck than previously sucked. I'm going to break my impressions down a bit here:

Microsoft Conference - Final Fantasy XIII!!!!!!!111!1shiftone!11!!! That's pretty much it. All that money spent on a presentation and instead of showing people the things they were actually interested in (Alan Wake, Halo Wars, Splinter Cell, etc etc etc.) all they got was more info on Gears of War 2, Fable 2, and they revealed a hideous new dashboard with Mii--..ahem Avatars and then they coupled it off with a multi-platform announcement of FFXIII. Woo~

So, summing that up it equals: Stuff you already knew + stuff you had already seen - stuff you actually wanted to see + stuff you didn't want to see + "We yanked another PS3 exclusive" = Awesome? I think not.

It was a waste of time considering what all could have been shown.

Sony Conference - CG!! CG!! CG!! That was the name of the game unless you were one of the lucky few to have been invited behind closed doors to see some of the other games that were being shown off, but then again those games are SECRET so it doesn't matter that you were lucky and saw them because you can't even say shit about them! God of War 3? awesome! MAG? Awesome! Can we see real time? NO! Not awesome.

Pics or it didn't happen!

Yes, Little Big Planet is digital crack and I will no doubtedly be picking up that nugget of goodness on the MINUTE of its release, but like most of the other titles that we saw being showcased at E3 it's going to be another 3-4 months or so before those titles start trickling down the line towards the disc slot of my monolith. Sony promises more Gigantic, blockbuster, megaton announcements at Leipzig but then again they also told me that Home would be out 9 months ago and now they tell me that the release date doesn't matter.

Come on guys, I can only play MGS4 and Burnout for so long before I am resorted to digging in bargain bins for "Genji: Days of the Blade" (which I actually DID mind you but I have yet to inflict massive damage on any large crustaceans.).

Nintendo Conference - "Remember that awesome console we told you about that would bring you dreams of being a Ninja in your living room and fighting hoardes of baddies to the death? The one that would incorporate state of the art motion control to make you a virtual hero? Yeah, that thing doesn't fucking exist, but thanks for being a bunch of suckers anyways."

That's pretty much how I felt throughout the Nintendo presentation. Seriously, Wii Music was the biggest waste of technology that I have ever seen and if I see one more stupid cooking game or carnival time waster be released for the console then I am -DONE- with Nintendo. Oh, but don't worry! You'll get another Metriod, Zelda, Mario en masse within the next two years so don't you "hardcore" gamers fret because Nintendo is apparently totally not alienating you guys at all....

Be all know your going to buy that thing on the day it comes out. Then you'll forever be put off with playing music just like Wii Fit made you realize how crappy faux-exercise was.

Anyways, if this E3 impression seems a bit harsh or filled with nothing but rabid opinion well thats because it is. It's pretty much how I, a gamer since the 2600 days, saw the entire conference through my eyes. I watched the videos and read the stories and all I got was a big giant mound of suck. So, bringing this all back around to the first topic at hand I'd have to say that E3 has now become just a giant bad idea.

And how do we get rid of a bad idea? We stop doing it. That's how.

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