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About
First off is my highest honour -- my shit on the front page of Destructoid.


I was born back in the days of yore, when 3-D graphics were only a dream.

I like games.

Super Nintendo had to be one of the best consoles. Mario, Metroid, Link, Kirby, Donkey Kong and everyone else came to the party. Good times.

I own a Super Nintendo, N64, Gamecube, Wii, PS1, PS2, PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360, Gameboy Pocket, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, and a DS.

I regret missing some of the good old days, back in the early 90's, because I was too young to appreciate a good game when it smacked me in the face. Such is the folly of youth.

Somedays I wish I could have lived through such tumultuous times, what with the advent of Spandex tights and Rap, but then I think that it is much better to live longer and be younger than all of you people who did enjoy Super Metroid and Mario Kart in it's heyday and just be content with an emulator and a Xbox 360 controller.


Favorite Games: Mario series, Donkey Kong Country/64, Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Fable, Halo series, Shadow of the Colossus, GTA series, God of War 1 and 2, Morrowind, Oblivion, Tales of Symphonia, Final Fantasy X, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and more that I can't recall.


Send me a friends request if you dare, just send a message telling me you're from Destructoid so I don't think you're a 63 year old pedophile masquerading as a teenage girl to lure gullible, young boys to your basement. And if that description both fits you and you are from Destructoid then expect to recieve my home phone number and address.

Update: One year later

New games I would add to my favorites are Gears of Wars series, Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Bioshock (hey, I was playing it when I joined!), and other games I cannot recall. Some games I have loved for a long time but forgot to list over a year ago are Rome: Total War, the top Mario games, and the main Pokemon GB games. The rest escape me at this time.



So these days God no longer compels you to blog, Atlas is Fontaine, and generally speaking I am pretty well known around these parts. (I hope) I regret not joining Destructoid sooner, when I first had the chance with a link from Chad Concelmo's IGN blog. Even he was born in the primordial soup IGN was, or so it would seem. I no longer frequent there or other gaming sites except from time to time because Destructoid is hopefully my internet home from here on out. A great place to be, cheers to another year at Destructoid!

Update: Another year later

Okay, so year three isn't going that great. I haven't blogged for six months and have barely visited the site. In fact, it is nearly November and my 2 years happened almost 2 months ago in early September. Damn life, going outside into the real world is time consuming! I haven't even turned on a videogame since April... (until just recently!) But of course I haven't forgotten about Dtoid; THE GREATEST SITE ON THE WEB! Sorry Dtoid, I will try to live less and Dtoid more.

Update: Another few years later

So life hit me... I still visit this site when I can... to think I started visiting this site when I was 15, and made an account two weeks after I turned 16... I'm 20 now, Destructoid is practically part of my life story at this point, even if I disappear for years at a time. Still, I remember the good old days, the days when Dtoid was like the Wild West, when I was at my most active, and when we would open the gates of Hell in our mischief, always walking on the edge of the banhammer. Now I'm just an ancient, obscure memory to the last surviving cowboys, a group even to this day I feel I'm a part of. Still, I raise my glass to you. Good times Destructoid, good times!

Oh, and to a few of us oldsters, Atlas is Fontaine.

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I know everything about Bioshock, being Atlas and all. So let me reveal exactly how the plot will twist.

- The character, Elizabeth, is what keeps the city floating. Without her it will crash.

- Andrew Ryan won't have anything to do with Columbia.

- It will crash and be destroyed after Elizabeth is removed, or she will die when removed, or both.

- Someone important from Bioshock will have a cameo appearance.

- The main character Booker, will jump to his death at the end of the bad ending after Elizabeth dies and Columbia is crashing to the ground.

- In the happy ending both survive and Columbia crashes to the ground.

- There will be too much white, red, and blue. Too many baddies will be dressed like Uncle Sam.

- The man who approaches Booker turns out to want to destroy Columbia, and knows it will be destroyed by the removal of Elizabeth.

- The city will probably be under the rule of someone who is hyper-religious and trying to bring on some sort of apocalypse by using the massive armaments on Columbia to fulfill some kind of prophecy.

- The city probably was seized by this person and hid it away to fulfill some other prophecy.

- Plus, this ruler has probably sent that guy (or maybe it even was him) to see Booker to get him aboard to fulfill yet another necessary prophecy.

- Plasmids will be re-imagined as some other cheesy thing that grants super powers.

- Booker is really being led into a trap and Elizabeth is leading him into it, whether she knows it or not.

- There will be a separate faction that aids the main character, possibly betrays him

- That giant mechanical thing with a heart was once a man, now he works for the ruler of Columbia as some kind of mind controlled organic robot you might be able to free.

- The giant mechanical crow gets fucked and crashes. It's probably ridden by some guy or remote controlled.

My rejected plot twists

- Brigid Tenenbaum is the person who created Elizabeth, kind of like a precursor to Little Sisters. (unfortunately Tenenbaum was born circa 1930 according to Bioshock Wiki).

- Andrew Ryan is the one who approaches Booker, since he wants Columbia destroyed since it represents a lot of what he hates. (According to BioWiki he was in Russia until 1919 and was influenced by autocratic rule and communism).

- Atlas is Fontaine


*If any of these come true I will somehow have pulled answers out of my ass two years before the game is even out, therefore making me psychic. Also, I realize some of my predictions conflict with each other.*

Feel free to add your own. Lets see how they stack up two years from now.








Atlas is Fontaine

Samus is a woman

The main character IS Darth Revan

Aeris dies

Your dog dies

Tidus isn't real

The Collectors are actually Protheans

Carmine dies

The princess is in another castle

John Marston gets killed by the army and you finish the game as his son

Carmine dies again

The galaxy is purged of intelligent life every 50,000 years

Sheik is Zelda

Kratos killed his family and is the son of Zeus

Altair sucks ass

Please feel free to add to my list.








I don't understand.













I can't believe it has been forty years since Niero created Destructoid. After all these years it has remained awesome, only a little less so when Niero disappeared in the Brazilian jungle seventeen years ago. But we carry on, and with forty years worth of memories.

Nex begged to come back. His request was denied. Robert Summa came back, got a permaban. He came back again anyways.



Hamza remains steadfast. Neither showering nor shaving for years at a time, he truly is a capable webmaster. We salute you.

Unfortunately, over time we have lost some fine members of the community. Brad Nicholson got crushed under thirty men at the bottom of a human pyramid. Chad Concelmo was consumed by a pod of killer dolphins. And poor Electro Lemon....



Hmmm. Necros? He found Allah.



And Jim Sterling? He decided to kill the trolls by reducing the amount of insults they could throw at him tenfold. He still thinks his body is shit-hot, however.



Yeah, it really was a crazy forty years. But the memories last a lifetime.












You just do the singing. I'll take care of the hard part.







Atlas
11:29 PM on 02.17.2010



Guards. Some of them have telepathic abilities. They can see you when you are out of site. They know when their friends attack you. Hell, they even know when you stealth kill someone. This is a real conspiracy. It's up to Atlas to once again reveal the true nature of PSYCHIC GUARDS.



These guards are ruining the fabric of society. Tearing it apart. Into. Little. Pieces! OK?



I fear all hope is lost. Can we ever repair the damage? How the in the fucking world are we going to reconcile telepathy with modern games? This phenomenon isn't contained to Oblivion.

What about Fable? Peter Molyneux told us all about real-time weapon changes, massive damage, and growing oak trees.... BUT HE DID NOT MENTION THAT THOSE GUARDS OPERATE A TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION GRID! In fact, why the fuck do they all have the same voice. Why do they all have the same face? Cloning, Molyneux? In a medieval hack-n-slash that can be beaten in three hours!

Don't forget about Dark Athena + Butcher Bay. The guards.... they just know...





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If you just look closely enough..... Donkey Kong is in this picture twisted and deformed.... I found it randomly and it scares me.

THANKS FOR PLAYING