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About
First off is my highest honour -- my shit on the front page of Destructoid.


I was born back in the days of yore, when 3-D graphics were only a dream.

I like games.

Super Nintendo had to be one of the best consoles. Mario, Metroid, Link, Kirby, Donkey Kong and everyone else came to the party. Good times.

I own a Super Nintendo, N64, Gamecube, Wii, PS1, PS2, PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360, Gameboy Pocket, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, and a DS.

I regret missing some of the good old days, back in the early 90's, because I was too young to appreciate a good game when it smacked me in the face. Such is the folly of youth.

Somedays I wish I could have lived through such tumultuous times, what with the advent of Spandex tights and Rap, but then I think that it is much better to live longer and be younger than all of you people who did enjoy Super Metroid and Mario Kart in it's heyday and just be content with an emulator and a Xbox 360 controller.


Favorite Games: Mario series, Donkey Kong Country/64, Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Fable, Halo series, Shadow of the Colossus, GTA series, God of War 1 and 2, Morrowind, Oblivion, Tales of Symphonia, Final Fantasy X, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and more that I can't recall.


Send me a friends request if you dare, just send a message telling me you're from Destructoid so I don't think you're a 63 year old pedophile masquerading as a teenage girl to lure gullible, young boys to your basement. And if that description both fits you and you are from Destructoid then expect to recieve my home phone number and address.

Update: One year later

New games I would add to my favorites are Gears of Wars series, Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Bioshock (hey, I was playing it when I joined!), and other games I cannot recall. Some games I have loved for a long time but forgot to list over a year ago are Rome: Total War, the top Mario games, and the main Pokemon GB games. The rest escape me at this time.



So these days God no longer compels you to blog, Atlas is Fontaine, and generally speaking I am pretty well known around these parts. (I hope) I regret not joining Destructoid sooner, when I first had the chance with a link from Chad Concelmo's IGN blog. Even he was born in the primordial soup IGN was, or so it would seem. I no longer frequent there or other gaming sites except from time to time because Destructoid is hopefully my internet home from here on out. A great place to be, cheers to another year at Destructoid!

Update: Another year later

Okay, so year three isn't going that great. I haven't blogged for six months and have barely visited the site. In fact, it is nearly November and my 2 years happened almost 2 months ago in early September. Damn life, going outside into the real world is time consuming! I haven't even turned on a videogame since April... (until just recently!) But of course I haven't forgotten about Dtoid; THE GREATEST SITE ON THE WEB! Sorry Dtoid, I will try to live less and Dtoid more.

Update: Another few years later

So life hit me... I still visit this site when I can... to think I started visiting this site when I was 15, and made an account two weeks after I turned 16... I'm 20 now, Destructoid is practically part of my life story at this point, even if I disappear for years at a time. Still, I remember the good old days, the days when Dtoid was like the Wild West, when I was at my most active, and when we would open the gates of Hell in our mischief, always walking on the edge of the banhammer. Now I'm just an ancient, obscure memory to the last surviving cowboys, a group even to this day I feel I'm a part of. Still, I raise my glass to you. Good times Destructoid, good times!

Oh, and to a few of us oldsters, Atlas is Fontaine.

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Atlas
11:29 PM on 02.17.2010



Guards. Some of them have telepathic abilities. They can see you when you are out of site. They know when their friends attack you. Hell, they even know when you stealth kill someone. This is a real conspiracy. It's up to Atlas to once again reveal the true nature of PSYCHIC GUARDS.



These guards are ruining the fabric of society. Tearing it apart. Into. Little. Pieces! OK?



I fear all hope is lost. Can we ever repair the damage? How the in the fucking world are we going to reconcile telepathy with modern games? This phenomenon isn't contained to Oblivion.

What about Fable? Peter Molyneux told us all about real-time weapon changes, massive damage, and growing oak trees.... BUT HE DID NOT MENTION THAT THOSE GUARDS OPERATE A TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION GRID! In fact, why the fuck do they all have the same voice. Why do they all have the same face? Cloning, Molyneux? In a medieval hack-n-slash that can be beaten in three hours!

Don't forget about Dark Athena + Butcher Bay. The guards.... they just know...





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If you just look closely enough..... Donkey Kong is in this picture twisted and deformed.... I found it randomly and it scares me.

THANKS FOR PLAYING



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Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)


Holy shit, that Oblivion animation scares the hell out of me.
STOP! You've , you've , you've violated the LAW!
Stay out of trouble and you won't get hurt.
Yeah, that oblivion animation is totally crazy
Mirrors Edge was pretty bad for psychic enemies, I was standing underneath one of the guards on a later level, and because I could see his shadow through the floor I could see him moving as i moved around, always with his gun aimed straight at me.
Assassin's Creed is pretty bad with Psychic Guards too.
Atlas is Suchong?
Guards the bane of EVERYONE's existence.
i kno rite?
Ahahahahaha! My favorite is in Oblivion when you step outside in your Grey Wolf mask. So awesome...
In oblivion where you'd sneak into someones house, steal something, sneak out, then change city, then the guards in that city would arrest you for breaking and entering. Lol.
Atlas??? Total nutcase if you ask me! But he hasn't done anything we can arrest him for... yet.
Keep moving...
I didn't realize until just now how flexible those Imperial Legion Soldiers are.
THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!

Man, my brother and I would always quote those guards and lol. Good to know it wasn't just us that found the power of the guards awe-inspiring.
LMAO! Great blog!
(sooooo true!)
One time in Oblivion, I shot one of the horse guards with my drain life Daedric bow, "Cracka Killa", and he just disappeared off his horse. The horse then runs up to me and talks to me IN THE GUARD'S VOICE demanding my arrest! True story.

Not only do they have telepathy, they can also go invisible and transfer their spirits to animal companions.
Stealth missions in games piss me off when the guards are psychic... It seems like the bastards know where I am, even when I'm behind a wall or whatever. Once I had a go on Splinter Cell I think it was, and I crept up to a door, stuck the camera underneath and there was a guard just with his gun(s) pointed at the door. I made a noise elsewhere and heard him be distracted, stuck the camera back under and he was still pointing at the door. Bastards. There are worse/better examples but that's all I can think of right now.

Oh and the AI on Far Cry is effed up. Feel like venting that. Playing on easy "a pleasant walk in the jungle" or something. I climb up a ladder and everything's shooting at me at once, like they knew I would be there before I was. Also, glitching me into a sitting duck position whilst preventing me from shooting is a real rage quit incentive for me.

Also, that Oblivion gif confuses me.

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