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About Me

First off is my highest honour -- my shit on the front page of Destructoid.


I was born back in the days of yore, when 3-D graphics were only a dream.

I like games.

Super Nintendo had to be one of the best consoles. Mario, Metroid, Link, Kirby, Donkey Kong and everyone else came to the party. Good times.

I own a Super Nintendo, N64, Gamecube, Wii, PS1, PS2, PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360, Gameboy Pocket, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, and a DS.

I regret missing some of the good old days, back in the early 90's, because I was too young to appreciate a good game when it smacked me in the face. Such is the folly of youth.

Somedays I wish I could have lived through such tumultuous times, what with the advent of Spandex tights and Rap, but then I think that it is much better to live longer and be younger than all of you people who did enjoy Super Metroid and Mario Kart in it's heyday and just be content with an emulator and a Xbox 360 controller.


Favorite Games: Mario series, Donkey Kong Country/64, Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Fable, Halo series, Shadow of the Colossus, GTA series, God of War 1 and 2, Morrowind, Oblivion, Tales of Symphonia, Final Fantasy X, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and more that I can't recall.


Send me a friends request if you dare, just send a message telling me you're from Destructoid so I don't think you're a 63 year old pedophile masquerading as a teenage girl to lure gullible, young boys to your basement. And if that description both fits you and you are from Destructoid then expect to recieve my home phone number and address.

Update: One year later

New games I would add to my favorites are Gears of Wars series, Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Bioshock (hey, I was playing it when I joined!), and other games I cannot recall. Some games I have loved for a long time but forgot to list over a year ago are Rome: Total War, the top Mario games, and the main Pokemon GB games. The rest escape me at this time.



So these days God no longer compels you to blog, Atlas is Fontaine, and generally speaking I am pretty well known around these parts. (I hope) I regret not joining Destructoid sooner, when I first had the chance with a link from Chad Concelmo's IGN blog. Even he was born in the primordial soup IGN was, or so it would seem. I no longer frequent there or other gaming sites except from time to time because Destructoid is hopefully my internet home from here on out. A great place to be, cheers to another year at Destructoid!

Update: Another year later

Okay, so year three isn't going that great. I haven't blogged for six months and have barely visited the site. In fact, it is nearly November and my 2 years happened almost 2 months ago in early September. Damn life, going outside into the real world is time consuming! I haven't even turned on a videogame since April... (until just recently!) But of course I haven't forgotten about Dtoid; THE GREATEST SITE ON THE WEB! Sorry Dtoid, I will try to live less and Dtoid more.

Update: Another few years later

So life hit me... I still visit this site when I can... to think I started visiting this site when I was 15, and made an account two weeks after I turned 16... I'm 20 now, Destructoid is practically part of my life story at this point, even if I disappear for years at a time. Still, I remember the good old days, the days when Dtoid was like the Wild West, when I was at my most active, and when we would open the gates of Hell in our mischief, always walking on the edge of the banhammer. Now I'm just an ancient, obscure memory to the last surviving cowboys, a group even to this day I feel I'm a part of. Still, I raise my glass to you. Good times Destructoid, good times!

Oh, and to a few of us oldsters, Atlas is Fontaine.

Gamer Profile

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Mii: lordkalgan@hotmail.com
Gamertag: T0M HANKZ

Following (40)

The Jim Sterling effect (Jim Sterling) Atlas | 8:44 PM on 10.28.2011 21 comments

I gathered some data and analyzed it, my results being quite amazing. "The Jim Sterling effect" as you may know it multiplies blog excellence. But now, you can rest quite assured that there is some serious science behind this fact. I went backwards through the C-Blogs, through months of C-Blogs, and took note of every C-Blog with the title including "Jim Sterling", and compared the comment average of those with the average comments on a non-Sterling C-Blog. The Non-Sterling C-Blogs I used were the 29 on the C-Blog front page that did not have "Jim Sterling" in the subject. I did that at 5:29 PM Pacific time. I have 5 blogs with Jim mentioned in the title, and have also found the average comments for those. These blogs have used "The Jim Sterling effect" to great success. The average non-Jim blogs have 6.2 comments, and the average Jim Sterling is wrong and fat and stupid and a troll blog have 30.4 comments. You see? The Jim Sterling effect increases comment making by 490%. It multiplies a blogs excellence by many factors, even if the blog is just a flaming pile of dog shit. Your success as a videogame blogger can be greatly improved by these simple, easy-to-absorb tips. TIP 1 Insist that Jim Sterling has no merit as a journalist. Dismiss his attempts at humour as traffic whoring. Tell everybody why he is always wrong, in the most hateful way possible. TIP 2 Tell everybody Jim Sterling is fat. This one is a classic, and it immediately validates your blog as a pillar of solid journalism, and destroys any argument Jim can mount. You might even get a job at Kotaku or something. TIP 3 Call Jim a cunt. Using insults in his own, native language makes you look trendy and contemporary. Tip 4 Tell everybody Jim Sterling is fat. We need to remind people of this, body mass index is an important factor to the integrity of journalists. Once people notice this they will be giddy with excitement and you will become an internet rockstar. TIP 5 Make sure your content actually focuses on attacking Mr. Sterlings' character, and not his actual arguments. Be absolutely sure that your blog subject includes JIM STERLING multiple times, in a variation of caps or lowercase. Caps work better. CONGRATULATIONS! Your blog has now gained almost FIVE times more exposure than it would have, will gain many comments, and a few faps. Remember, that 490% is your percent, just include Jim Sterling in your title. Have confidence my friends, control of the internet is in your hands. JIMSOURCES http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/MathewRD/on-game-reviewing-pt-1-why-jim-sterling-is-wrong--214759.phtml http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/innocuousremark/online-passes-jim-sterling-doesn-t-get-it-214300.phtml http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Nick+Jones/my-thoughts-on-cliffy-b-s-and-jim-sterling-s-reactions-211717.phtml http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/manasteel88/jim-sterling-opinions-and-metacritic-204752.phtml http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/RichardBlaine/is-jim-sterling-doing-destructoid-a-disservice--162191.phtml