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About Me

First off is my highest honour -- my shit on the front page of Destructoid.


I was born back in the days of yore, when 3-D graphics were only a dream.

I like games.

Super Nintendo had to be one of the best consoles. Mario, Metroid, Link, Kirby, Donkey Kong and everyone else came to the party. Good times.

I own a Super Nintendo, N64, Gamecube, Wii, PS1, PS2, PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360, Gameboy Pocket, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, and a DS.

I regret missing some of the good old days, back in the early 90's, because I was too young to appreciate a good game when it smacked me in the face. Such is the folly of youth.

Somedays I wish I could have lived through such tumultuous times, what with the advent of Spandex tights and Rap, but then I think that it is much better to live longer and be younger than all of you people who did enjoy Super Metroid and Mario Kart in it's heyday and just be content with an emulator and a Xbox 360 controller.


Favorite Games: Mario series, Donkey Kong Country/64, Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Fable, Halo series, Shadow of the Colossus, GTA series, God of War 1 and 2, Morrowind, Oblivion, Tales of Symphonia, Final Fantasy X, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and more that I can't recall.


Send me a friends request if you dare, just send a message telling me you're from Destructoid so I don't think you're a 63 year old pedophile masquerading as a teenage girl to lure gullible, young boys to your basement. And if that description both fits you and you are from Destructoid then expect to recieve my home phone number and address.

Update: One year later

New games I would add to my favorites are Gears of Wars series, Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Bioshock (hey, I was playing it when I joined!), and other games I cannot recall. Some games I have loved for a long time but forgot to list over a year ago are Rome: Total War, the top Mario games, and the main Pokemon GB games. The rest escape me at this time.



So these days God no longer compels you to blog, Atlas is Fontaine, and generally speaking I am pretty well known around these parts. (I hope) I regret not joining Destructoid sooner, when I first had the chance with a link from Chad Concelmo's IGN blog. Even he was born in the primordial soup IGN was, or so it would seem. I no longer frequent there or other gaming sites except from time to time because Destructoid is hopefully my internet home from here on out. A great place to be, cheers to another year at Destructoid!

Update: Another year later

Okay, so year three isn't going that great. I haven't blogged for six months and have barely visited the site. In fact, it is nearly November and my 2 years happened almost 2 months ago in early September. Damn life, going outside into the real world is time consuming! I haven't even turned on a videogame since April... (until just recently!) But of course I haven't forgotten about Dtoid; THE GREATEST SITE ON THE WEB! Sorry Dtoid, I will try to live less and Dtoid more.

Update: Another few years later

So life hit me... I still visit this site when I can... to think I started visiting this site when I was 15, and made an account two weeks after I turned 16... I'm 20 now, Destructoid is practically part of my life story at this point, even if I disappear for years at a time. Still, I remember the good old days, the days when Dtoid was like the Wild West, when I was at my most active, and when we would open the gates of Hell in our mischief, always walking on the edge of the banhammer. Now I'm just an ancient, obscure memory to the last surviving cowboys, a group even to this day I feel I'm a part of. Still, I raise my glass to you. Good times Destructoid, good times!

Oh, and to a few of us oldsters, Atlas is Fontaine.

Gamer Profile

3DS friend code:
Steam:
Battle:
PSN:
Mii: lordkalgan@hotmail.com
Gamertag: T0M HANKZ

Following (40)

Mr. Destructoid Gets Crucified and 10 Reasons to Love Me Atlas | 10:00 PM on 02.01.2009 18 comments

So basically I said "Mikey plz draw Mr. Destructoid getting crucified k thnx" and then he said something and I said something and then this happened. You're welcome for the video -- took me a couple of hours to put it together! Sooo..... 1. I work at a grocery store. Been there a year and a half. To tell you the truth I actually think I made a shitty blog about it. Sorry for that even if the apology is a year too late. Scratch that. Sorry for almost all my blogs, especially the old ones. Look at my art. Watch for Art Attack Atlas featuring on a Friday when Destructoid gives in to my love. Haha, it is even funnier now that Reaprar is DEAD! Or something like that Classy duplicate of a Destructoid Friday art feature Another classy duplicate of a Destructoid Friday art feature 2. I like Western RPGs since they are open ended and don't have forced crappy turn based systems in them and random battles. 3. I have been with Destructoid for a year and a half now. This place rocks. So far I have been promoted to the front page, won some sweet loot (2.66 GHZ Quadcore FTW), and generally improved my blogging skillz. I seriously sucked at life reading my early blogs. Probably still do and will realize it in another year. 4. I was on the top ten at IGN blogs. I think I was fourth or something but then I got banned for posting something about creating explosive powder. I mostly spammed my way to the top. 5. I found Destructoid through Chad Concelmo's IGN blog. He basically got hired here and I eventually made an account 8 months later. 6. I sent a letter of apology to Brad Nicholson. I hijacked his computer browser (rickroll) with the "Dtoid Canada" schtick and he lost an article; I felt bad. I basically sold Hamza Dtoid Canada (www.destructoid.ca) for a single STFUAJPG t-shirt but he still hasn't replied to me.... where art thou Hamza? 6 and a half. I miss Heretic and Reaprar, trolling Whiteboy and Wiisucks. Destructoid is changing but some days I wish we could have these guys back. Trolls were trolls but they injected something into this site for me. Times do change, don't they? 7. Did I tell you Destructoid is awesome? 8. So basically I played Bioshock and Destructoid had less than 8000 members back then (compared to the 30 some thousand now!) and so I got the name Atlas. Also I got the name Frank Fontaine but the internet laws prohibit me from using it. I spawned a crappy meme and spoiled Bioshock for upwards of a hundred people and that is a conservative estimate. I mean hey -- Atlas is Fontaine and all of Destructoid knows it. But no worries, the whole "would you kindly" thing was far more significant. As you can see now I tampered with my longtime avatar of atlas for a "Mr. Dtoid Atlas". I hope you like it. 9. I really hope I am a valued member of the community. I have stuck with Dtoid and I think I will stay for years to come. I don't even know if I could leave if I wanted to... 10. Unless that bastard Fontaine is involved. So anyways I know I have missed a lot in this blog but it was a real fun ride being here at Destructoid. Would you kindly head to Ryan's office and kill the son of a bitch? More of my art or art otherwise related to me. Amazing entry to my contest by Lemon. Won Spore for iPhone. Still no reply from him if he has played it yet Dtoider Angusm drew this inspired by my idea. He is now MIA Stop, would you kindly