I was a boy of ten years old in the world of Runescape. It was Christmas day, and I was enjoying vast deposits of coal left unguarded by people who had abandoned me to real life.
I am the master of this coal mine, being the great Dwarven UnderKing Stonefist Steelhammer Sledgehelm, a voice said loudly in my head. But soon, there was no voice in my head and yet the words kept coming...
"Alas there, ye scurvy ale-sodden pox-ridden fleabag scum, I be Cap'n Phillip Young, master o' these mines, and that there coal is mine to take!"
"SORRY," I apologized, "I thought this coal was in undisputed Galactic Free Space"
"Nar," said The Great Briney Cap'n
I began to respect the man, a masked crusader of justice in a drug-fueled world.. He became more than a man to me, he became a GOD. As the night wore on our conversations became more and more intimate.
"Listen, how old are you?" Asked Phillip Young.
"I'm ten, and I've never had sex before"
"Well then I will be your first," he replied. "Sex with an older man is a beautiful thing"
"Will there be penetration?"
"Aye, lots matey."
"Then take me, take me now."
Flying to a new country was strange, especially for an eight year old boy like myself. I had a chance to leave it all behind, to start a new life and family. But suddenly I began to fear. I was being pulled into a dark alleyway by a middle-age man.
"HELP, HELP" I shouted to no avail.
I felt the heat of his sword against my chumhole. My body ached and screamed like a girl on fire.
"Please no, NOT THE BEES, NOT THE BEES" But it was too late... I felt the stinging of one hundred thousand bees in my virgin rectum.
I was close to death, alone and scared, when the man pressed close to me and whispered in my ear --
"It's okay boy, it's me, Cap'n Phillip Young"
And then I knew everything was going to be okay.
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