So, I just got called and invited out tonight. It is relatively late (11:30) to be going out and I would rather just browse Dtoid and chill with some videogames instead of going out. But here is where things get tricky. I got invited out by a girl I work with, a slightly drunk one at that, and she wanted me to hang out at her place. You all know what that means, right? And yet I would rather stay home, on Destructoid, than getting drunk with a girl who more than likely wants me over there. She is attractive, yes, but yet I stay here doing what else than blogging on the internet on a site that spends it's effort talking about videogames and the like, which is not especially a popular thing to do for most.
Am I wasting my time?
So I have to look at my values. I would rather spend my time playing videogames than actually going out to parties. It is not that I am particularily addicted to one or many games, but more that I really could care less about going out to stuff that alot of other people enjoy. Drinking, partying, women... they have no hold over me.
I'm not sorry to say it, but videogames can do things that none of those other things can. Some people drink to deal with their life. Some people do it because they are bored. It is an escape from the world they must live in around them, a world they would be stuck in otherwise. But I feel no urge to drink, no urge to get high. I have no depression or addictions, but still somehow videogames manage to fill the void more effectively than anything else ever could. Mario is better than booze. Fallout 3 is better than sex. No drug could be more fun to me than Left 4 Dead. My Xbox will always be sitting there when I want it and never tells me what to do or how to act. I can just sit down and enjoy myself with no worries or obligations. I feel no draw or urge pulling me toward Destructoid or videogames when I am at work or away, but always and forever it will be there when I get home, ready to do whatever I want.
I lead a fulfilling life. I don't need the stuff others need to be confident or satisfied. All I need is a good game and some time to play it. My personal values place videogames above
almost all else. Which leads me to a question. Am I missing out by declining offers to go out and party, to go out and chat up girls more than willing, to have fun with my friends because videogames satisfy my life in ways these things just can't?
Is gaming a virtue or a vice? 
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It's a virtice!
I asked myself this question in the form of: "Why the fuck am I playing WOW?!", and thus I haven't played wow in more than a year.
When times are financially rough, I bunker up with a good game and avoid going out unnecessarily. You can look at the time spent playing a game and perhaps put that time to something that is more of a long term investment, like learning a musical instrument, a craft etc. Then again, life can be short and it is best to live it enjoying the things that make you happy. The end.
all things in moderation is my motto.
Atlas or Fontaine. Theres your answer.
I'm so cryptic and intellectual.
Happy* = doing it right.
(*not harming anyone)
I feel the exact same way, I could care less about that shit. And honestly I probably would of done the same thing.
THIS is why my life seems so much better than ANY of my non-gaming friends. It saddens me that their sole purpose in a night out is to get drunk or get laid. I remember when we were 17 and used to actually discuss a lot of things, and they used to enquirer about gaming and why I play games a lot.
As soon as they hit 18, and could buy alcohol without any laws against them, they went bat-shit crazy. Continually drinking and trying their hardest to get laid. It led to them embarrassing themselves and me(I was the one that always was sober, and had to take them home, AND their 'GF's'), many a times.
I have lost contact with most of them, a LOT of people, I can't be arsed dealing with that type of shit anymore, I'm better than all that, I'm better than them.
So,in short it's a virtue.
Oh and the whole girl issue, there's always more to choose from, no really their is. :)
I can't say much, because right now I'm working a night-shift on a Saturday until 7AM checking IDs in a college dorm. But if a girl calls you up and asks you to come hang out with her, go. We can wait for you. We promise, not much is going to happen on a Saturday night.
Really, I never saw the point in choosing between those things. I don't go out to many parties because I don't like going to places where I only know a few of the people, but there's no reason not to go party if you know many friends will be there. If it's a hip party, maybe they even have Rock Band or some party game set up (at least, that's what I would do). Drinking? Why not drink and game? Drugs? You can't tell me you wouldn't enjoy over half the games on XBLA with a little "enhancement."
Look, I love video games, and I've been lazy and stayed in to play them on many a night, especially if I'm really into a current game. But see if you can't mix in some other stuff with it. Hell, socializing with Dtoiders is great (and I highly recommend it), but in lieu of awesome real-life parties with Dtoiders, get together with some people, get a few drinks, and play some multiplayer games while other people hang around and chat.
So gaming's neither a virtue nor a vice: it's just another piece of entertainment, for better or worse. I don't mean to condemn you or anything, it's just my persona view on the gaming vs. socializing thought.
@ Mushman
Protip: The sober one in the group never has fun.
@Mushman: not all non-gamers want to just pass out due to alcohol or get laid, a lot of my friends is just there to have a genuine good time, even if they have to keep drinking to a minimum, it's the company of you're friends that are important, nothing personal but based on what you said you think gamers are the only good people in this world who know how to have a good time :P
and like what jhett said all things in moderation, I wouldn't have passed on the offer, but I do get urges to play games when I don't have that gaming/real life balance, and I'm a more grumpier person when I haven't played a game for a while :P
All the bullshit concerning girls is overrated in my opinion. Interesting comments here, i'll be sure to catch up on them when I wake up later today.
NEVER go party with PPL you work with...
(( Save your job... Or @ least save the unwanted stress! Especially, of constantly being poked to go out. ))
Wow, great posts guys!
I think this is a common thought that runs through most of ours heads every now and then. I am 100% with you on not wanting to go out, and even pass on the drunken gf for my vidya games, so I can totally relate.
Jhett, Necros and Torzelan had perticularly good posts:
Jhett: All things in moderation
Necros: See if you can't mix in some other stuff with it
Torzelan: Happy* = doing it right. (*not harming anyone)
...and they are pretty much right. If you are happy and you are enjoying yourself, and you are not infringing upon the freedoms and rights of others, then you are doing no wrong; but, as was said before, all things in moderation
Constantly pursuing the same thing and ignoring other aspects of your life is unhealthy and will, ultimately, leave you unfulfilled; be sure to investigate other things you are interested in. But Im getting ahead of myself here, it's not like you are going to spend the rest of your life doing nothing but playing video games, and you have many, many more years to meet people and experience new things.
The important thing is that you are happy with what you are doing. Everybody is different, and what pleases some will make others miserable, so don't feel like you are doing something wrong because you are not following the crowd.
It is up to you to make sure that you are happy and that you only do the things that you want to do; not wanting to do things, but doing them for others is still wanting to do them. It may sound selfish, but doing what you want and keeping yourself enjoying life is the key to making sure others enjoy it with you.
Also, very good post; you can tell from the responses that this is an issue that hits close to home with a lot of people.
You coulda bent her over in front of a computer. Then you can both read
@Necros, In my case, that's not true, I hoenstly have plenty of fun with people I know who don't drink till they are sprawling on the floor, rather have a couple of drinks and would rather spend time in the company of others. We go to fancy restarants, we go to the cinemas, we go on trips, to me that's fun, and I try to do as much of these with my best freinds. I'm not sober by choice, simply put, I'm sober due to religious reasons,do I regret drinking,ever? Not at all, hope this helps. :)
@BENJAXEZ
Of course, in your case, what I said cannot be applied, it's great that the majority of your freinds are like that, it really is!! :) but in my case, sadly it's the reverse. I live in england, where the beer runs as much as water, especially nowadays.
We'll just leave it at that, or we'll continue to debate something we cannot reacha common ground on, is that ok? :D
@ATLAS
'All the bullshit concerning girls is overrated in my opinion'.
Fucking too right mate, I'm soory but I cannot stand guys who think the only thing to achieve in life is banging the next woman they meet. No offence guys, but there are much more important things in life than sticking a dick in a vagina.
I never got male obession with sex, and never will, I just think there is more to life, acheving acedemic success, being the best person you can be, getting a good job, and having a relationship with a woman that will love you, no matter what, to me, is far, far more important.
I might be 'old school'. but it has always worked for me, and more importantly, always made me happy.
Also, nice read!! :)
@Mushman, haha no worries mate, I'm from australia, and beer is also like water :D.
there's nothing wrong with being old school, I mean as long as you're not completely oblivious, you will always have the upper hand in the long run against these bafoons lol :P
and yeah I agree with the fact that I am more happier that way. Cause you actually feel like there's something there to keep rather than having one night stands.
the thing with video games is that you get sucked into it, and when you add drinking it can either make it worse or better. everything is intensified, if you were playing condemned and all the lights were out you might freak out, or plaing mario kart and calling people improper names, laughing, and having a good time.
the only thing bad about it with me though, is when i drink i tend to fall asleep playing a game, and that means the headset on, 360 still fired up; the lights are on but no ones home. the only thing that could possibly help this problem is if microsoft decides to put an adjustable timer to power it down. the current, 6 hours, is obviously not very good, i end up waking up with my xbox still on by then. i'm surprised i haven't been slapped in the face with a RROD.
I find it interesting (though perhaps inevitable) that this topic is framed around comparisons, i.e. "I'd rather be doing ABC than XYZ." The comparison made here (video games vs. getting wasted and getting laid with abandon) is pretty obvious, if you're going for the morality argument - the former will pretty much certainly result in less trouble for both you and others.
On the other hand, if you make a different comparison (say, video games vs. paying ample attention to your kids), even though one side of the equation is the same the comparison is completely different (heck, you could even toss up "getting drunk/laid vs. killing somebody," though that's obviously extreme). As with almost anything else, there's really no set answer for whether video gaming is "virtuous" or not - on its own it really doesn't help or hurt anybody one way or the other, but the catch is in what it replaces.
Fallout 3 is better than sex?Seriously?Have you ever had sex?Look Atlus,dont miss out on life because of video games.Fallout 3 will always be there waiting for you,girls that are willing to give themselves to you wont.Enjoy your gaming time,but treat gaming as a hobby and not a way of life.
I love this thread so much:
'All the bullshit concerning girls is overrated in my opinion'.
I HAVE HAD THIS THOUGHT FOR YEARS :D
YES
It's a virtue. God wanted us to enjoy ourselves, ffs! :OD
Get playing. Seriously.
I like the company of a female. Are you guys telling me I'm wrong for not wanting to game instead of that? I'm gonna have to side with Necros on this one, cause I think he hit the nail on the head.
"if a girl calls you up and asks you to come hang out with her, go. We can wait for you."
I know my games are always gonna be at home waiting for me. Sometimes it's alot more fun to socialize.
And concerning what Torzelean said, i think he said it best "happy= doing it right"
Sure, you could be happy staying home all the just gaming, but there's nothing wrong with socializing sometimes. As for involving games with your socializing, sure thats ok sometimes.
In fact its somewhat of a ritual for me and 3 of my buds to get together every weekend to drink some brews and play Super Smash Bros. Then again, it does definately get tiresome, so you should also take into consideration what jhett said about everything in moderation.
I like the company of girls and vodka some nights, and a quiet night gaming others. whatever floats your boat
Yeah, Teh Gheyming can wait..
Really interesting whether people think gaming is a vice holding them and other people back from life or that it is a virtue that allows us to achieve satisfaction in our life without doing other things that are considered bad.
What if the girl from work was inviting you over because she would much prefer to play Left 4 Dead cooperatively instead of with bots? Or what if it was something, maybe anything besides drinking?
I know this is going to seem like a hard stance to take, but damn it, someone has to have the testicles here. You assholes are the ones making gamers seem like the introverted, socially crippled hermits that the majority of the world thinks we are. What the fuck is the problem with going out and drinking? Drinking is not the devil. Drinking does not make a person a bad guy. I don't judge people that don't drink, that would be ridiculous. Just as ridiculous as someone else judging people that do drink.
As far as females go, if you can't put down the controller or step away from the keyboard one night a week to go hang out with other people, you have a problem. I'm not saying you have to "chase tail", but when you write this "I got invited out by a girl I work with, a slightly drunk one at that, and she wanted me to hang out at her place. You all know what that means, right...a girl who more than likely wants me over there. She is attractive, yes" I cannot see a logical reason for not acting on that. As others have said, DToid and games will be home whenever you get back, social opportunites can be fleeting.
It's not that I don't love DToid, ask anyone that has attended the Cinci NARP, or PAX, or one of the TX NARPS, I love hanging out with DToid people, but you know what we do when we get together? We fucking drink. No one's forced to, but the vast majority of us do.
As a wise man once said, "I love video games, but I love beer and pussy too."
Must....hold....back.....torrent....of....rage
Eh, it just depends on what kind of memorable achievement you want to get in a certain weekend :)
I've been on both ends of the spectrum. Gaming for me has been both a vice and a virtue for me in the past.
When I was younger, I couldn't really afford any videogames, and so, I would go to friend's houses and play. Our fascination in video games is what kept us friends. This happened on more than one occasion, and currently one of my best (if not the best) friends, I actually met on Warcraft 3. Nearly every single good friendship I've had with anyone has had its roots in gaming.
That being said, about 6 years ago I got heavy into Diablo II. Initially, it was something to do with the friends, but it eventually was just me left. This was because they had all moved on to "bigger and better" things, AKA, we got into high school. This is when gaming became a vice for me. While people debate it, I believe in gaming addiction (a mental (habitual?), not physical one) and I used D2 to compensate for my lack of dinking and drugs. I started to ignore my friends, and lost many of them. Simply because we had moved on, and they lost their interest, while mine grew too large.
Today, whenever we can game, we do. Usually I'm the only one with a working computer. Though, two of our friends have 360s. We work both; usually they're all high (usually just pot) and drunk (not a single friend of mine doesn't do it-though, this one Belgian guy, pot makes him puke). While I don't touch anything.
So that's my story.
Does gaming hold you back? Of course it CAN, it's a matter of balance, everything in moderation as JHETT mentioned.
So, I think in your case, it might be an issue of have you tried things or not? Are you sure it's lack on an interest, or is there a deeper reason for not being interested in these things? I know for myself, I always said it was just a lack of interest, for years. But I now know it wasn't, there was more to it. Not to make an insult on your intregrity or anything.
I know Destructoid and videogames will be here when I come back, as I said in my article. But do some of you people really value sex and booze so much to say those who don't are socially crippled?
Woah, COOKSKINO5 is in super rage mode!!!
only jking, ;)
Is drinking bad, even though I don't partake in that activity?? Hell fucking no, I already said I don't mind being round people who drink.
(sorry if I am wrong COONSKIN05, but I do feel if some of what you are saying is aimed directly, pacifically at me, even if it is, I do not mind, really, it's YOUR opinion, say whatever the hell you want, it's your God given right, let no one tell you different)
What I gotta say is this though, it has been extremely interesting reading people's views on this, and quite enjoyable, thanks Atlas once again. :)
Just do what you want people, as long as it makes you happy, and it doesn't hurt anyone. Follow the 'crowd' if it makes you happy, drink if it makes you happy, fuck if it makes you happy, play vidya games(which we ALL do ;) )if it makes you happy. I'm outta here, three comments IS FAR TOO MUCH, I'm becoming a fucking spammer. :(
I neglected to mention this, since about 1/2 into my speal I realised it was a wall of words.
However, as far as people not liking sec and booze being socially crippled, I can think of 1 person for sure who fits this bill.
One of my older brothers has always hounded me for not drinking, not going out and getting laid, and generally not partying. In highschool, he was a jock. In university, he really was "that guy" who everyone knew, partied with. Infact, to thhis day, simply seeing my last name in his university town at various bars puts me in a special class without a word out of my mouth. (it's really weird actually, and usually ends in dissapointment for them).
He has it hard wired into him that this is how life should be. That he is leading the "right" life. So yeah, there are people who truly think that those of us who don't induldge are failures at life.
Mushman, I'm not trying to call you out more than anyone else, I just think it's hypocritical when people like to hang around girls and/or drink it's "an escape from the world they must live in around them, a world they would be stuck in otherwise", or "Continually drinking and trying their hardest to get laid", but when people "place videogames above almost all else", it's just something they like to do, just a hobby. See what I'm saying?
@ Mushman
If you don't drink for religious reasons, that's fine, but my point was that if you're the only one who isn't drinking, you shouldn't be surprised when you're not having the same sort of fun that people around you are enjoying. (This also works backwards; if you're the only one drinking, you're going to feel too awkward around all the sober people to have fun.) So while you obviously won't be drinking, I was just pointing out that to be having fun with drinking, everyone needs to be on the same page, and if you're not, you really shouldn't be surprised.
@COONSKIN05
Good sir, you are absolutely right, and I do see what you are saying, it seems that there is a very fine line to tread in order not to be hypocritical, and I for worse, appeared and to an extent was, hypocritical, point taken and remembered for future reference, thank you, really, no really.
@Necros
Hey, no worries, it was my fault for not elaborating on what I was saying on my first comment, I should gone into more detail on what I was meant to say, and what I was getting at. I failed to do that, sorry, really.
Hey man, different strokes for different folks. If you're happy staying in more often than not and playing games, all the power to you. As long as you leave the house once in awhile there is nothing wrong with that. Some people are are just a little more introverted that way, and it's perfectly normal.
And while drinking can be a lot of fun, after you've done it enough you realize it really isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's a crutch people use to have fun. If you can have fun without it, then frankly it's better to abstain.
But not everyone is that strong (guilty).
In short, if you don't like to drink, then don't do it. I think you should have gone with the girl, but I don't know you or the situation so I really can't judge.
And I'm not saying this is the case, but if you feel your escape from reality of choice (videogames) are preventing you from living your life to the fullest, then it is an addiction and one that can be just as dangerous as an addiction to drugs or alcohol.
ATLAS YOU CRAZY TROLL, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!
I'm similar, always struggling between whether to stay home a night and play video games or give my buddies a call and see what they're doing.
I think a lot of people that have commented have a lot of good ideas and a lot of bad, but hey, thats an opinion right?
For me, i find it easy to balance out video games and hanging with friends by waiting. I'm one to do my own things every now and then, so i usually do so until i'm invited to go places, whether its drinking at a party or just going out to the movies.
If i dont know of anything going on tonight with my friends, then hey, its open to gaming. :)
Admittedly, there are times when I'd rather stay in and play games than go out myself. Social interaction -- not necessarily drinking or seckzing -- is important, though. Clearly, the need to be with others wavers on a person-by-person basis but I would still vouch against extensive neglect of your social life.
Yep.