NY NARP: epic failure, or the most epic failure? You decide!

I had fun meeting (most) of you cock-bags. Before our rendez-vous, I wasn't sure if I was gay or not. Apparently I am.

What I learned (in alphabetical order by name):

Andy hopes that more kids are born retarded in the future. This will greatly help his financial situation.

Puppet believes I am of the homosexual persuasion. His great interest in where I thrust my p33n into is interesting in itself. I believe before year's end a roll in the sheets, an engaging and philosophical bedside chat, and a heavy-hearted, remorseful realization that the indicator on the pregnancy test is a plus sign, and NOT (not) a negative sign, followed by an abortion in Mexico by a doctor who also sells tacos is to ensue.

Pedro thinks I am Ben. He is wrong.

Lauren gave me teh AIDS. But it's okay because those anal warts she's developed are probably my fault.

Petey has a red messenger bag and he wants that and his tallness to be the only two descriptors about himself that anyone should acknowledge.

Michael is actually a pretty cool guy despite being Asian. Maybe continuing to run the sweatshop worked by his (indentured servants) brothers and sisters in my basement is immoral after all.

Graham has the name of a cracker. Which I oft-times eat in my leisure.

Samit's name is pronounced as "Sah-mitt" (or something). He also went through great pains to try to pronounce my user-handle only to fail every time he opened his mouth. I nodded and acted as if he got it right after about 15 minutes.

Ben has a wife. And this fucking scares the shit out of me. I also walk next to him on the side which he has the most trouble hearing. I do this to make fun of him to his face without him knowing. It's hilarious.

Even though eating shitty burgers and perusing shops I've been in tens of times was loads (loads) of fun, I kind of regret missing your "David and Buster's" leg of the trip. Unfortunately I had a man-date with my grandfather (who was the leading actor in "Lemon Party") where we discussed political theory, trends in society, and how to induce queefing in females. He also anally-raped me. He now has AIDS.