Artemus's Profile - Destructoid

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Life is my hobby. Video games are my life.

I enjoy other things, but that's not important here. We're here for the love of video games.

I've been a loyal, addicted member of Destructoid since around March of 2008.
Thank you, Niero. Helluva site, man! I use it daily.

I've been a hardcore gamer since I received a N.E.S. Christmas of 1987. Can't believe it's been that long! Video games are a major part of my life and that will never change.

Systems and games come and go, but a great game will never, eeeeever be forgotten.

By the way, I ran a shirt company. A video game inspired shirt company. It was fun, while it lasted...
facebook coming soon!

*Currently(November 2012), I'm busy as hell with:

*Resident Evil 6(PS3) - Although not without its flaws, this sixth entry into my favorite biological horror series is a lot of co-op fun! Separating the game into three(actually four) distinct campaigns was an insane gamble that, for the most part, paid off. Also, Mercs mode, as usual, is completely addicting.

*Double Dragon: Neon(PSN) - A simple, updated throwback to a side scrolling brawler, beat 'em up series, but that's okay. It's not trying to be anything else. It wears its updated heart container on its neon sleeve. And the soundtrack is beyond amazing music to my ear holes.

*New Super Mario Bros. 2 - Another true, tried and tested Super Mario platformer experience. Nintendo didn't mess too much with the magic formula and that's okay with me. Getting a new Super Mario game makes me feel like a kid again on Christmas day!

*Lollipop Chainsaw(PS3) - Insane, bloody and sweet Suda51/Gunn title! Enjoying it very much! The soundtrack is rad. Sparkle Hunting!

*Kid Icarus: Uprising - Visually stunning new adventure with Pit, but a bit stressful to play. Like the original, it's a flawed, but fun title..

*Shank 2(PS3) - A gritty sequel to an awesome grindhouse original. Shank 2 is an underrated gem. The controls have been tweaked and it's even more fun to "shank" this time around. An above excellent, affordable, downloadable title.

*Batman: Arkham City(PS3) - Comic book video game perfection. Also, the combat challenge mode is utterly addiciting. I am... Batman.

*Super Mario 3D Land - Perfect mix of new and old Mario elements in a true 3D space. A near-perfect portable experience. I am always thankful for Nintendo. Also, the Special World is special.

*Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D - Pretty much what I wanted from a portable version of the classic Mercs mode from the Resident Evil series. Besides the frame rate issues(which aren't so bad the more you play) and the permanent save fiasco, it's a damn fine, fun time. Also, addicting as hell.

*Bionic Commando Rearmed 2(PS3) - Although not as "clean" as the original remake, this sequel is a rad addition to the franchise. Also, jump.

*Donkey Kong Country Returns - Spectacular. One of the best, pure platform games in years. It's on like Donkey Kong! Wait. Can I say that?!

*Castlevania: Lords of Shadow(PS3) - Triumphant. An absorbing gothic effort from MercurySteam, Kojima Productions and, of course, Konami.

*Metroid: Other M - Ambitious. A 3D game with a 2D feel. The combo of running and gunning mixed with first person works surprisingly well. The strange tag team of Nintendo and Tecmo have delivered a bold and unique Samus Aran experience.

*Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game(PS3) - Epic. The classic video game graphics, sound, gameplay and references are awesome. Also, it's only 10 bucks.

*Punch Out!! Wii - Classic. This newest entry into the series proves it's best not to mess with a formula that works. The title defense mode is incredible(also, incredibly difficult)!

*Super Mario Galaxy 2 - Mesmerizing. Beyond amazing Nintendo platforming Miyamoto masterpiece. I'm now searching for the elusive green stars. One more to go...

*Mario Kart DS - Timeless. One of the best Mario Kart games in the franchise. It's damn near perfect. Dry Bones in the Dry Bomber! Do you snake?!

*Donkey Kong(Arcade) - Historic. Almost every week, after a tasty Philly Cheese Steak sandwich, my friend Eric and I play a few games of the Miyamoto classic at a local independent arcade/game store(Phoenix Games). We're training hard to one day defeat the scores of Mitchell and Wiebe(also, Chien). Listen, if you haven't seen The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters you are doing yourself a great deal of injustice.

*Games I can't wait for:
-The Last Guardian
-The Last of Us
-Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2
-Mirror's Edge 2
-Bubsy 4

My PS3 user name is:

My Wii code is:

My Mario Kart Wii code is:

My Brawl code is:

PM me, so we can exchange lame, super ridiculous Nintendo Wii friend codes and play some Brawl, Kart or Dr. Mario.

Pai Mei: "It's the wood that should fear your hand, not the other way around. No wonder you can't do it, you acquiesce to defeat before you even begin."

Some of my all-time favorite games(no order):

-Super Mario Bros.
-Super Mario Bros. 3
-Mega Man
-Mega Man 2
-Kid Icarus
-Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!
-The Legend of Zelda
-Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
-Duck Tales
-River City Ransom
-Tecmo Bowl
-Ikari Warriors
-Shadow of the Ninja
-Rolling Thunder

Super Nintendo:
-Super Mario World
-Super Mario Kart
-The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
-The Legend of the Mystical Ninja
-Mega Man 7
-Ganbare Goeman 2
-Earthworm Jim
-Earthworm Jim 2
-Super Castlevania IV
-Contra III: The Alien Wars
-Star Fox
-Super Metroid
-The Adventures of Batman and Robin
-Super Punch Out!!
-Super Tecmo Bowl

Nintendo 64:
-Super Mario 64
-Mario Kart 64
-The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time​
-Star Fox 64
-Goeman's Great Adventure
-WWF: No Mercy

-Super Mario Sunshine
-Mario Kart: Double Dash
-The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker​
-Luigi's Mansion
-Resident Evil 4
-Super Smash Bros. Melee
-Batman Vengeance

Nintendo Wii:
-Super Mario Galaxy 2
-New Super Mario Bros. Wii
-Donkey Kong Country Returns
-Metroid: Other M
-Punch Out!!
-Contra ReBirth
-Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles
-Super Mario Galaxy
-Mario Kart Wii
-Mega Man 9
-Mario Party 8
-Mario Party 9
-Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles
-Wario Ware: Smooth Moves
-Super Smash Bros. Brawl
-Wii Sports
-Wii Sports Resort
-Lost Winds

There are games(and systems) I've forgotten! So, I'll finish this list later. Need to think! So many amazing games! I mean, who the hell could ever forget:
Castle of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse, Alex Kidd in Miracle World, Super Mario Bros. 2, Donkey Kong(arcade), Willow(arcade), Dick Tracy(Genesis) Dino Crisis 1 and 2, Gauntlet(arcade), Double Dragon, Excitebike, Die Hard Trilogy(PS), Rastan, Karnov, Gradius, ActRaiser, Altered Beast, Contra 4, Golden Axe, Streets of Rage, Fatal Fury, Super Ghouls and Ghosts, Sonic the Hedgehog 1-3, Jumping Flash!, Twisted Metal, Battle Arena Toshinden, Ico, Trauma Center, Deadly Towers and Bubsy, among others.
Well, maybe not Deadly Towers.

*Games I wish I had played that I hopefully will sooner than later:
-No More Heroes(and 2)
-Shadow of the Colossus
-Killer 7
-Dead Space
-God Hand
-Conker's Bad Fur Day
-The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge
-Donkey Kong 64
-Bubsy 3D: Furbitten Planet

I absolutely love the DS Lite! My DS Lite(along with Mario Kart DS) share a pocket with my cell phone. I never leave home without 'em.

Yes, I am a Nintendo fanboy(hate that word).
And yes, I love my PS3.

That's it for now...

Get the heck out of here, you nerd!

Following (129)  

I've been reminiscing a lot about classic games...

I say the word "classic", but that doesn't mean the game had to be popular or mainstream such as Pac-Man, Donkey Kong or Super Mario Bros.. There are many other "classic" games out there that didn't get the attention they deserved.

Konami's, ridiculously Japanese, Ganbare Goemon(known as The Legend of the Mystical Ninja in North America) quickly comes to mind.

It is, was and always will be a prolific, addictive and fun video game series.

From the moment I played my rented copy of The Legend of the Mystical Ninja for the SNES, in 1992, I was hooked! I kept it several weeks past the due date! Yes, it was that damn good. The affair had begun...

American box cover... Somewhat assy.

The game had it all: Memorable characters, bizarre boss battles, unique gameplay, stunning Mode 7 graphics and detailed sprite work. Not to mention a catchy, synthesizer-infused, traditional Japanese instrument soundtrack.

Japanese box cover... Not assy.

The game's two main protagonists are Goeman(horribly renamed Kid Ying in the American version) and my favorite, Ebisumaru(renamed Dr. Yang). Get it? Ying and Yang? My gawd, Konami! Why?! Yet, all is forgiven - Considering all the joy this game has given.

Anyway, Goeman, the title character, is a cool, spikey blue-haired, smoking pipe weilding bad-ass. Ebisumaru is his kooky, plump, slightly effeminate, blue-clad ninja sidekick. The two heroes, upon the disappearance of Princess Yuki, start to search Edo and its surrounding Japan. They soon discover the evils of the Otafu army and the adventure begins...

What made the game so much fun was having a friend join you in the 2-player co-op mode. Something not always available in games at the time. Remember, this was back in 1992. Players could help each other out and even perform a hilarious piggy-back ride move! Funny? Yes. Fun? Yes. And highly effective! The player giving the ride runs and jumps from danger, while the other attacks it, from above his friends back! The N64 game Goeman's Great Adventure, even featured 4-player co-op play! Although, in that game, it had to be unlocked.

The Legend of the Mystical Ninja was revolutionary 16-bit video game excitement... The casual gamer needed to invest a little time into the game before they realized what amazing depth and variety of game play it actually possessed. Players would roam busy towns in search of money, clues and items. Then fight in highly detailed side-scrolling levels. You could even catch up on some health by staying in one of the towns hotels. The more money you had, the fancier your room!

Konami spared no expense... Included were a plethora of different mini-games(including Whack-A-Mole, a rad Quiz Show and even a few levels of Gradius, to name a few). This game was simple, addictive platforming action at its best!

Konami worked the system to its maximum limits. This game truly utilized and showcased the power of the SNES.

The Goeman/Mystical Ninja titles all feature sweet gameplay, beautiful graphics and amazing Japanese style music. The few games that made it to the United States are definitely worth checking out... Especially The Legend of the Mystical Ninja and Goeman's Great Adventure. Begin your Goeman affair!

Do yourself a gaming pleasure and go download The Legend of the Mystical Ninja from the Virtual Console). You won't be disappointed. If you can locate a copy of Goeman's Great Adventure for the N64, buy it immediately.

Many years later, I still enjoy the hell outta these games. Thank you Konami! It's just too bad they didn't get the mainstream exposure they deserved.

Who couldn't love Ebisumaru?!

*Is a next gen Goeman game in the works? Sure hope so... Come on, Konami! What are you waiting for?!

Mario Kart Wii, less than a few weeks opened, is already one of my favorite games, and one of the best in the go kart racing Mario series. The racing is tight, fast, furious and competitive as hell! The online racing even more so...

Being somewhat new to this massive, sick site and not knowing everyone yet, I'd like to meet some of you guys online for some serious Mario Kart racing competition!

Who's with me?!

Destructoid faithful, let's do this!

My Kart code is:

Very few flaws aside, the game's an instant Nintendo classic and a gold cup trophy winner.
It really shines in bringing the beloved "Mario Kart" universe alive. From the familiar sound effects and catchy music, to characters and retro tracks, this gem masterfully delivers everything Mario Kart should be... Well, almost everything.
The game, although not perfect, does have its flaws:

-Time limit in BATTLE MODE?! Are you freaking kidding me? Come on! Let us decide, Nintendo.

-Your own BATTLE MODE items don't affect you?! What?! You're killing me Nintendo.

-Two player Grand Prix races for trophies removed! Why?! Got dammit.

-The Blooper item: Cool idea? Yes. Annoying? Yes.

-The Wii-eel... No comment. You decide.

To name a few... Any others that piss off the diehard, Nintendo fanboy in you?!

The series has blossomed immensely since 1992, when the original was released for the SNES. It's been that long?! Damn. Who can ever forget playing marathon BATTLE MODE sessions that lasted through the night? I never will. Never. Ever.

Super Mario Kart - SNES 1992

Mario Kart 64 - Nintendo 64 1996

Mario Kart: Super Circuit - Gameboy Advance 2001

Mario Kart: Double Dash - Nintendo GameCube 2003

Mario Kart DS - Nintendo DS 2005

Mario Kart Wii - Nintendo Wii 2008

In Mario Kart Wii, powersliding the tight corners of the Mario Circuit 3(Super Mario Kart) while holding a banana peel to avoid a red shell attack will make any Mario Kart fan smile. Passing Goombas strolling the roadside and seeing Hammer Bros. sitting on raceway fences next to Shy Guys are super awesome sights. The game induced me into a nostalgic coma of joy.

Beautifully done Nintendo!

Who's with me?! Let's get online and race...

*Do I use the "Wii-eel"?! Not so much... I did the first few days, but stopped when I was getting smoked by players not using it online. It's a cool idea that works well, but it's not for me. Being a seasoned Mario Kart veteran, I knew I was better than what the wheel was letting me be. So, I ditched the wheel and now play with the Wii-mote and nunchuck... I couldn't be happier!*

While I swig on a Newcastle, I present to you my first DESTRUCTOID blog. Please, be gentle...

A website out there has a ridiculous two hour video of all 32 courses in Mario Kart Wii! While this may be a preview for most Mario Kart fans, it may be a spoiler for many! Or it may just piss off the naysayers even more!

No, I didn't watch the entire damn two hour video! Are you freakin' kidding me. That's a little much! I have better things to do tonight... Like drink a tasty beverage and blog my reaction to the reactions to it!

Sadly, it seems some people aren't exactly thrilled with this entry in the classic go-kart racing series. Am I thrilled? No... I'm fucking ecstatic!

Whether you're excited or not, Mario Kart Wii is almost upon us!

The original SNES game is a classic and will always have a special spot in the video game section of my heart.

I've been a super, heavily-addicted fanatic of the series since the first game was released in 1992. My friends and I would play hundreds of marathon battle mode matches in a single sitting. Hours of fun! After the last match, the world around us would appear to be in permanent Mode 7! Memories... Sigh. The memories... Gotta love it! I know you do. Care to share?

Listen, every Mario Kart has been an evolution from the previous one, not a revolution. That's alright. If Nintendo kept everything the same, people would bitch. When Nintendo changes things... The same people bitch. Please, stop the bitching people! Learn to enjoy instead. It's much more fun.

Play it. Love it. Or leave it.

Things change. Things evolve. Get used to it. You name it, things change... People. Food. Movies. Cars. Video game systems and every subsequent Mario Kart released.

Yet, once you get used to the differences, every game is a solid, multiplayer "go-kart" racing classic. From Mario Kart 64 to Mario Kart Arcade GP, the series is a gold cup trophy winner!

I'm hyper-excited for this entry to the series! I have an advent calendar ready and I'm counting down the damn days, baby! April 27... Would you please hurry tha hell up!

Lets'a go! Wahoo!

Mario Kart fans unite!

See you online April 27!

*(Psst... Hey! You... Yeah, you - Don' even ask about the Wii Wheel. The jury is deliberating on that one and will decide its fate on April 27. Also, the ridiculous video can be found compliments of ''.)*