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Hi. I write shit for Japanator. I'm also putting words here out of penis envy.

Games? I get imaginarily hard for Final Fantasy and most other Squenix products. The rest is subject to change without notice, unless it's got Bleach in it. Then I'll hit it like a disobedient prostitute.
Following (3)  

Crackheads broke into my house--literally busted a panel on the back door.

They stole my PS2 and my copy of Disgaea with it, but the real kick in the shitter? My memory card.

Every goddamn PS2 save file I've made since I maxed out all the Sphere Grids on FFX is fucking gone. Level 650 crew on Disgaea? Gone. Level 99 FFXII? Gone. The goddamn roses on Katamari? Thorns up my ass! GONE GONE GONE GONE

God fucking aaaarrrrgggghhhh

So, this guy in Dallas has made up a new rule that just might get him in massive trouble with Gamestop: Brandon Scott manages a Gamestop, and wants kids to get good grades, so he implemented a policy in which...I guess the kid just has to have an adult vouch for their good grades, but either way, that's a prerequisite for buying games.

(I can just see it now, especially if this spreads to Austin: "Hey, Mr. Wino! I'll give you a dollar if you come say I'm the smartest kid in school!")

Bullsheet. And he's giving kids a free game if they bring in a signed report card with all A's and a parent. Guess what? Gamestop itself didn't even know about this! Bend over, Mr. Scott.

8:18 AM on 08.27.2007

What're your favorite gaming-y comics, aside from the usual (Penny Arcade, 8-Bit and VG Cats)? Ctrl+Alt+Del is okay, but Momma wants new crack. ...And a job. But mostly crack.


10:21 AM on 08.08.2007

...are not going to be included, to my knowledge, though I got really bored at work the other night and thought up some more besides my own Celestial Crimson Pulmonary Evisceration Matsuri, which turns your lungs into poo and you die. Ivan on Jtor had a really fucking awesome ten-thousand-word long one that was just a pair of legs that run up and kick you in the nuts and you die. So what's the effect of Twelve Comets Donkey-Punch the Effervescent Heavenly Sphere?

5:23 AM on 07.30.2007

This is what I'd wanted to put on that shitty blue header, assuming it doesn't exist only in my mind:


In addition, the male it is the chicken

Those would be the English-->Japanese-->English Babelfish'ed bastardization of "Also, cocks," except this stuff had to be stuff that sucked monkey cock.

Also, hotlinking is fucking cool.