So my first entry went okay, though I realized my audience is much smarter than I am and that I do not have to fear losing people but actually fear getting lost myself. Or something like that. I don't know. Here we go again.

I am obviously a No More Heroes fan, as you can tell by my banner up on top of the blog that I slapped together in MS Paint in 2 minutes. I'll fix it eventually, I swear.

But no, seriously, I bought NMH when it came out (err, actually, the day after it was supposed to come out because no one had it until then) and now, two weeks later, I'm STILL hooked. I'm still in love with it. I haven't loved a game this much since Shadow of the Colossus. Games don't usually do this to me! It's weird! What is this feeling I'm experiencing? My pants grow tight!

I kid about that last part.

Reviews for the game are all over the place. IGN and Game Informer are just like "meh," while X-Play (Adam Sessler specifically) and Gamespot are wanking off with tears in their eyes at how marvelous the game is. It's kind of weird, almost polarizing, and from what I can tell, it's getting a bit overlooked for it's low-fi graphics, lack of multiplayer, and weirdness.

And that makes me sit up at night weeping. A game like this most certainly should NOT be ignored. It should be played and loved by the masses. But it never will be. I want you to play it and I will tell you why:

Because if you don't play this game, Travis Touchdown himself will break into your home, slice you in half with his beam katana, take a dump, AND LEAVE THE LID UP ON THE TOILET.

Well, maybe.

I just went into one or two of the reasons the game deserves love: Not since Resident Evil 4 has slaughtering masses of identical-looking enemies been so damn satisfying. Pop, off go their heads! It's impossible NOT to grin when an enemy, after being sliced in two, somehow still screams "MY SPLEEN!!" And while it is essentially a button-masher, where all you REALLY need to do is repeatedly tap the A button a lot and also dodge a lot of attacks, at least it's not a waggle-fest where you just swing your arm wildly in the hopes of hitting something. Because that's just annoying.

Also, how many other games let you slam an opponent to the ground in a tombstone piledriver before stabbing them dead? Yeah, I didn't think so. It could've been just an ordinary hack'n'slash, but seeing as how Suda51 is absatively OBSESSED with pro-wrestling, the addition of quick melee hits and wrestling throws is simply sweet and ridiculously fun. God I wish Travis would be in SSBB simply to see him throw down with Nintendo's finest. Sure, he'd have to clean up his language, but after that he'd fit right in perfectly, dammit.

And then there's the protagonist himself: Travis Touchdown is quite possibly one of my favorite videogame heroes ever now, simply because of who he is. The man goes back and forth between being a complete loser (constantly getting messages on his answering machine from Beef Head Videos concerning the colossal amount of porn he rents) and a total badass assassin ("Here's your ticket to paradise, old man") when he's living every otaku and videogamer's dream, getting a true kick out of killing.

And make no mistake, Travis is fully aware that his life is a videogame. The 8-bit pixelated menus and bleep-bloop oldschool arcade sound effects and such were not simply a great stylistic choice, they're an extension of Travis's personality and how he views the world around him. Not to mention the fact that he and a couple of other characters tend to break down the 4th wall, stomp all over it, set it on fire, and laugh maniacally as it burns.

"But what if the game gets delayed? You don't want this to become No More Heroes Forever, do you?!"

Yes, yes the game DOES take a stab at Duke Nukem Forever. In fact, it's full of pop culture jabs like that. The Star Wars references do not end with the beam katana, oh no, there's Star Wars crap EVERYWHERE. Not to mention DBZ, considering that when Travis goes into Darkside Mode, his hair goes blonde and spiky and he pretty much becomes Super-Saiyan.

And there are so many little things I love about the game too. Aside from the music itself kicking ass, there are also the several random little guitar riffs strewn about here and there that bring a smile to my face. Showing Travis's rank in the UAA as a High Score board from some top-down space shooter is wonderful. There's well over 100 shirts you can get and I want to personally own at least 50 of them. I love that Travis does mediocre jobs like lawn-mowing and rescuing kittens in between assassination gigs, I love his scream when you send him flying off a cliff on his bike, his apartment reminds me too much of my own room, and the game's dialogue is magnificently quirky and funny, especially as you approach the end and the game throws you for a loop.

I should probably slow down and try to end this thing now, I've been writing for God knows how long and I've probably bored a number of people or have just come across as a stupid fanboy wanker, so let's close this up.

No More Heroes is one of the reasons I wanted a Wii, and one of the main reasons I'm happy to own one. It was the number one game I was looking forward to even before I got my Wii, and it did not disappoint me one bit. Suda51 and Grasshopper's games deserve all the attention they can get, simply because of how unique they are. If you played Killer7 and at least thought it was different, then there's no excuse to not play No More Heroes. Aside from lack of a Wii, which could be a huge problem.

Dammit, if Suda's next game IS on the Xbox 360, as he's hinted at, I'm going to have to cough up the cash to get one. I'm a loyal follower of that man now.

Oh, and this song plays throughout the game too:



You can't deny the Jpop catchiness! You CAN'T!

All right, I'm done now. Commence to making fun of me.

-Brett