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Hello and greetings, my name is Brett and I am an artist and also a nerd. I am on a quest to gain infamy, and I am all over the internet in many fine and not-so-fine places!


I created a terrible, NSFW 12-page comic called Dream Dive. It's not porn, but it would probably suck less if it were. Or more. I don't know.

I also made a terrible stop-motion video called Godzilla Versus the Zoids as an excuse to burn some model houses from an old art class a few years back.

Favorite games include:
Shadow of the Colossus
No More Heroes
Panzer Dragoon Orta
Sin & Punishment
Jet Set Radio Future
God of War 2
Contra: Shattered Soldier
Metroid Prime
The World Ends With You

My game collection

AIM: Animated Trigger

Just about anything else about me can be found out from that horrible Myspace link, yes. Now bow to me.

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As promised in my last blog, after getting enough feedback, I set forth to paint the epic Destructoid Metroid, also known awkwardly as the Metstructroid.

...Okay, so it's really more of a half-painting, half-collage thing, and probably not at all what a lot of you were expecting, but here it is, in all its glory:

Awesome, ain't it?

And to give you an idea, here's some snapshots I took of the whole process of creating the thing:

Step 1: I used a 4.5x6-inch piece of watercolor paper leftover from my horrible online watercolor class and just slathered paint on it. In all honesty, when I create something like this, I only have a vague idea of what I want the final product to look like and the rest is a "hey what if I do THIS?!" kind of process. I plan very little.

Step 2: Like I said, it's part collage. Those red bits are index cards sliced up. Whenever I finish painting something and I still have paint leftover on the pallette, instead of letting it dry up, I find something blank to paint all over, for later use.

Step 3: More collaging! This time a webby-thing cut from an old Biology vocabulary sheet, as you can see.

Step 4: The Metstructroid himself was drawn on a piece of green construction paper and glued on before I started actually painting him. I did the third eye/nuclei differently from the eyes (which were glued on later as pieces of red construction paper) so that you can see that the Metrstructroid is a translucent kind of guy, like the Metroids themselves.

Step the fifth: And voila! I wanted to make him stand out more on the paper, so to try to make the background less "noisy" I threw white paint all over the place, and his eyes, mouth, and uhh, unibrow I suppose you'd call it, are all glued on. I left the mouth and unibrow white, again, to make him stand out more.

And that's how you make an epic masterpiece without any Photoshop or computer dickery involved. What say you, Dtoiders?

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So for the past month or two I've been on a huge Metroid kick, playing and beating the Prime games, as well as Fusion and Prime Pinball.

I was sitting here watching the paint dry on the inside of a graduation card I'm decorating for a friend, when the idea hit me to combine the infamous green noggin of Mr. Destructoid with a Metroid.

The results? I couldn't decide, I did multiple sketches, but I don't know which one I want to do an actual painting of. So that's where you lovely folks come in! Take a look at my sketches, tell me what you like, what you hate, make suggestions, et cetera, and I will eventually come to a nice final design to do a real painting of.

Take a look:

Yeah, I'm thinking of calling it "Mr. Destructroid," but that does sound really weird. If anyone can come up with a decent name too, then by all means, share.

(If only I were as good as ceark...)

This morning, after 23 awesome hours, I beat the World Ends With You. Okay, I confess, I had to switch to Easy mode on the final boss battle after it killed me multiple times because I had two useless pins equipped plus my level dropped down, but I beat it nevertheless and it is one of the best effing DS games ever that every DS-owner should go out and buy because I said so.

But something hit me once the credits started rolling: This is only the second Square game I’ve ever beaten! Yes, I know they’re Square-Enix/Squeenix now, but I don’t know who these Enix people are and the portion of my brain that still thinks it’s the late 90’s keeps referring to them as Squaresoft, but bear with me here.

The only other Square game I’ve ever beaten is Kingdom Hearts 2, which is pretty bad considering just how many Square games I’ve owned and/or played in my lifetime.

I went over the list in my head: SaGa Frontier (the first Playstation game I bought with my own money as a kid, before I even had a memory card, stupid me), Final Fantasy IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, XII, and Tactics, Chrono Trigger, Brave Fencer Musashi, Samurai Legend Musashi, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, and probably some others that have slipped my mind.

I never beat a single one of those. I feel like a loser.

I don’t know what it is about those games. It’s certainly not because they suck, everything of theirs I play is pretty amazing! I mean, it is partially because I’ve never beaten a traditional JRPG and probably never will finish one to save my life, but then…why did I never finish Chain of Memories? I know I was close to the end! Same goes for Brave Fencer Musashi, and that was one of my favorite damn Playstation games ever! And FFXII, I’ve put over 50 hours into it and still haven’t finished it, mostly because I keep buying other games for my Wii and can’t be buggered to constantly unplug one system to play the other. Also possibly because I bought FFVI at the same time on the GBA and playing two Final Fantasy games at the same time is a horrible, horrible idea…

So it seems that Square-Enix and I have a bizarre relationship. I know now that with the exception of something truly unique like the World Ends With You, I can never finish any of their games. Is this some kind of curse? I’ve been well aware of this fact for some time now, actually, and yet I can’t stop buying their games. What is wrong with me? Is there some sort of cure?

I aim to get a PS3 some time in the future, after Team Ico’s new project and God of War 3 are released probably, and man, both those Final Fantasy XIII titles look shweet, but I know that those too would sit unfinished should I buy them…what am I to do?

I can’t be the only one with this problem, can I?

Also, go play the World Ends With You. NOW.
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If you were to ask me what my favorite development company was, Id say Treasure without hesitation. Theyve put out a lot of simply stunning games, and among them is my favorite N64/VC title ever, Sin and Punishment.

But like all things, the game is far from perfect. Rumors are going about that another Sin and Punishment might possibly be one of the two new Wii games that Treasure is working on, and if so, here are some things that they could do to make an excellent game even better:


While Treasure is known more for gameplay than for story, their attempt at an epic story for Sin and Punishment was awful. Even after reading the Wikipedia page for the game, I still dont quite get what the hell was going on. You can see the potential for awesomeness, but the way the cut scenes are in the game, you dont know who the characters are or why theyre doing what theyre doing, who the enemies are, or what the hell a Ruffian is.

On the subject of cut scenes, while it was admirable of Treasure to put voice acting in an N64 game, it was pretty atrocious voice acting. Like many other games, they need much better voice actors.

Also, 2007 was last year. If they do a sequel or a remake, theyre going to pretty much have to fast-forward more to the future or else itll just be stupid.


Saki and Airan were tough, considering how much running and gunning they did, but man, dodging obstacles and attacks from left to right, they were a bit sluggish. I know you could double-tap the control pad to get them to roll to the side, but quicker dodging skills in general would be nice. Same goes for jumping, as any platforming portions of the game had me throwing the characters directly into pits or fires.


And finally, the most important thing. One of the things that made Sin and Punishment so great was its unique twist on the rail-shooter. However, there are plenty of things they couldve done to improve it.

For one thing, while it never really got old, having the exact same gun for the entire game could really be a deal-breaker. More weapons with unique features, such as homing lasers, missiles, or some crazy combination weapons like what you see in Gunstar Heroes, another great Treasure title, wouldve been awesome. Or, if nothing else, perhaps some chargeable special attack that you can unleash in tight spots to clear the screen of enemies. I really couldve used something like that in the later levels of the game.

And remember how cool it was when Saki turned into that Evangelion-looking thing? How awesome would it have been to spend more time with him in that form? And with different attacks? I can picture some epic city-smashing levels with huge bosses to fight, and it would be amazing.

Also, more gameplay in general would be nice. While I know Treasures games have never been very lengthy, it would be nice if the game took longer than like, an hour or less to beat. Extra modes and other bonus stuff could greatly extend the replay value of the game as well. And possibly some real multiplayer, as opposed to the weird I control where Saki runs while you aim and shoot kind of thing they did.

That pretty much concludes my article. Im keeping my fingers crossed that one of the two Wii games that Treasure is apparently doing is at least in some way involved with Sin and Punishment. What do you guys think?
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Sorry the first version of this post was a facepalm-worthy piece of crap. If it still gets bad comments, I'll be more than happy to take it down again and umm, go make some more art or something.

Basically compiling a list for myself of all the games I want. Obviously, theres a number of these that arent even out yet, especially in the Wiiware. Feel free to make suggestions, or make fun of me while my wallet weeps.

1. Endless Ocean - I've had a playlist on iTunes made for this game since it came out, I just...haven't gotten it yet.
2. Metal Slug Anthology - It's every Metal Slug game ever, pretty much, definitely do want!
3. Sonic and the Secret Rings - MAYBE. I'm not sure yet. My friend is wanting to loan it to me...
4. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption - This will be my next Wii purchase I know for sure, I'm just trying to beat Metroid Prime 2 first...
House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return - I own HotD2 on the Dreamcast, but my lightgun is fuckered, and I have a Perfect Shot which I've only used with Ghost Squad. More lightgun games pls?
5. Bully: Scholarship Edition - Missed the PS2 version but would love to give it a shot.
6. Deadly Creatures - A game that lets you play as a scorpion and tarantula? WIN.
7. Sam and Max Season 1 - I hear this is pretty much perfect. Definitely looking into it.
8. Sonic Unleashed - Please please PLEASE don't suck.

1. LostWinds - Pretty much the best Wiiware title released now.
2. Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life As A King - Final Fantasy and I have a bizarre relationship that I just don't have the heart to end.
3. Strongbads Cool Game For Attractive People - It's Strong Bad! What's not to like?
4. Alien Crush - Pinball! With aliens! Must have!
5. Eternitys Child - Showing support for Luc Bernard, yes.
6. Gyrostarr - It's like F-Zero meets Star Fox or something, and I love both.
7. Last Flight - I just remember seeing that one screenshot for it when it was announced...
8. Animales de la Muerte - Cute zombie zoo animals on the loose must be shot to pieces by children! YES!!

1. Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword - Played the demo on the Nintendo channel and loved it.
2. Mario Kart DS - Because apparently everyone with a DS owns it.
3. Contact - Made from Grasshopper, with some input from Suda51 if I remember correctly, and I do love Suda51.
4. Trace Memory - Y'know, I can't tell you why...
5. Professor Layton and the Curious Village - Same as Trace Memory. I guess the animation and British accents?
6. Pokmon Diamond - My friend has Pearl, so yeah.
7. Metroid Prime Hunters - I'm still on a Metroid kick, so yes.
8. Metroid Pinball - Same as above.
9. Tetris DS - It's TETRIS, dammit. On the DS!
10. Hotel Dusk: Room 215 - It just looks interesting...
11. Asteroids Extreme - Not out yet, but it looks like a lot of crazy fun.

Other Systems
1. Metroid Zero Mission - I've got Fusion, I can't force myself to go back and play the first 2. Metroid, so yeah.
3. Drilldozer - It's $10 new at Target, so why not?
4. Sonic Advance - Friend had it, played it, loved it, wish he hadn't sold it.
5. God Hand - A beat 'em up by Clover? YES.
6. Silent Hill 2 - I have 3, so yes.
7. Super Mario Sunshine - One of my favorite Gamecube games, so yes.

If you read one of my previous blogs, youd know that I was depressed and annoyed over the fact that anyone with an Xbox 360 could get their hands on Ikaruga for a mere 8 bucks or so, while I kicked myself for selling my Gamecube copy to a friend 5 years back when my Gamecube broke, before anyone had any idea about the Wii.

Well, that friend is an asshole and refused to sell back that which is rightfully mine, so another couple friends of mine banned together and actually ordered a copy off of eBay for me, as a late birthday gift. I got it just the other day, and its amazing how much I remembered from playing it 5 years ago, how intimately familiar I still was with it.

There was just one problem: The game did not come in its proper case, nor did it have an instruction manual. All I got was the disc itself in a green CD case. That bugged me a little, but I was just happy to have a copy to play. Ever tenacious, my friends got a free Gamecube disc case from the manager of the only cool Gamestop weve ever been in. It was formerly the case for Sonic Riders, heh.

But still, no cover? What was I to do? Well, I made my own:

(Click here for larger version)

Oh yeah, I totally fucked up, multiple times, but I dont think its too shabby. Plus, this is the first piece of art Ive done for myself since finishing up a horrible online watercolor painting class, the first thing Ive painted in a long time that wasnt a landscape or goddamn still-life, so thats nice.

Heres a lousy pic of it in the case, pardon my horrible bedspread:

I still wish I had an instruction booklet, and I wish I could get back my Airflow Gamecube controller, but for now, Im just having fun struggling to make it more than 30 seconds into the third level of one of the greatest videogames ever.

Well, whaddya think?
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