I sat at the town hall meeting for game dev students tonight, the first one I’ve gone to. I was enraptured, falling in love with my college all over again. There’s so much going on in the next few weeks it’s got my head all in a tizzy! Two of my game designer idols are coming to speak in the next few weeks, Jason Rohrer and Johnathan Blow (!). On top of this, two game-making competitions were announced. One is Global Game Jam, which isn’t really a competition per se as a “work for 48 hours straight and make the best goddamn game you can make” weekend. The other is Gamma 4.

It all sounded so wonderful and fun. I wanted to do it all! But I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I continued to listen.

What could I possibly provide to any potential group?

At the end of the meeting, one of the game programming professors approached me and we began talking.

“I want to do all these competitions,” I said, wistfully looking at the seniors who had made the announcements in the first place.

“So do them,” he replied matter-of-factly.

“But I’m a freshman. I don’t know anything about the mechanics of actually making games. I feel like I have nothing to contribute,” I said.

“I’m sure you have something to contribute.”

“All I can do is write stories,” I said.

“What more do you need? The only thing stopping you from doing this is you.”

It resonated with me. I doubt myself far too often. I’m always telling myself that I can’t, stopping any potential progress before it even begins. That, I have decided, is bullshit. I am going to do this. Even if I fall on my face and make the worst game ever created, I'll still be proud of myself because I'm trying, and I know I'll learn a lot during this process.

Gamma 4 and Global Game Jam, here I come. I hope you’re ready.