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Destructoid - Andrew Kauz's Community Blog




About Me
In loving memory: PAX 2009 (thanks ZombiePlatypus! And WalkYourPath, of course)


I'm Kauza, which is pronounced like cause-uh. My real name's Andrew Kauz, if you'd rather go for that.

I like talking to Dtoid people, so please add me on your favorite social networking site:
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/kauza
Gchat: santakauz[at]gmail.com.

Basics: I'm 25, and I write things.

Eternal thanks go out to Y0j1mb0 for the amazing header image you see above. So, thanks, sir!

Look at some of the things I've written.

Things on the Front Page:

Mass Effect, Metal Gear, Moon Unit, and more: An interview with Jennifer Hale
The Future: Demanding more from the voices of videogames
Love/Hate: A plea to play as a female Shepard
A warning: Regrets from a former life and experiences yet unlived
Top ten games for people who hate Thanksgiving
The wrong thing: Being evil should be more like sex
Staying dry in a sea of spoilers is a matter of building a boat
Lessons on taking games just seriously enough
Come, take your pilgrimage to gaming's one true mecca
Here's to you, random-JRPG-dialogue-writer-man
The forgotten: Crushing disappointment at the hands of Crash 'n the Boys
The people who have the power to change the world
Improving game communities: Enough with the negativity
The draw of exploration: Antarctica to Oblivion, Shackleton to Shadow Complex
I suck at games: BlazBlue and a slapdash attempt at fisticuffs
I, the Author: My Everest
Untapped Potential: The Gamer's Education
Other Worlds than These: Our World, Only Different

A series sort of thing about status effects
Toxic Megacolon and other fresh status effects
Curse you, status effects, stop confusing my heart
Status effects are poisons that turn my silent heart to stone
Also check out the related forum thread.

The Fall of the Titans (wherein I talk about dead or dying gaming companies)

The fall of the titans part 3: What once was shall be again
The fall of the titans: Sega died so that we might dream of the future
The fall of the titans: Why do the giants of gaming die?

Stories from the Past (a series about my experiences playing certain games):

Stories from the Past: Tobal 2, Tomba! 2, and console double-vision
Stories from the Past: Diablo and the Dark Ride
Stories from the Past: What the f*ck, mom?
Stories from the Past: Xexyz and the battle aboard Turtlestar Lobsterica
Stories from the Past: The One-Balled Man-Bear
Stories from the Past: The Battle of Olympus
Stories from the Past: Suikoden 2

Storytelling (a series about, well, storytelling):

Storytelling: The Problem of Genres
Storytelling: Mass Effect, Vonnegut, and the Fourth Rule
Storytelling: Doing Nothing in "The Darkness"
Storytelling: The Power of a Single Line (Yeah, it was my first post.)

Other stuff that is good:

Lessons on taking games just seriously enough
A consuming power: The demon and the borderlands
Can games transcend good and evil?
Nothing is sacred: We won't let you go alone, but we have made a tragic decision
How Destructoid single-handedly changed my mother’s opinion of gaming
Why Tecmo Super Bowl is the greatest sports game of all time
Seven reasons that I will end you in creative ways if you don't play Folklore
Mother Nature and the Impending Death of the Gaming Spirit
Times Games Forgot: The Dark Ages
The Sins and Successes of In-game Collectibles
The Lock is Broken
When Music Surpasses the Game
Truckasaurus Rex and the Humor of Games
I Want to Cry (storytelling related, but not part of the series)

I have others as well that you can check out on my blog. You'll enjoy them or your money back.

Since it seems like the cool thing to do, here a list of my favorite games that is coming straight out of my ass and onto your computer screen, and in no particular order.

Fallout 3
Uncharted 2
Suikoden 2
Mass Effect / ME2
Metal Gear Solid followed by any number you can think of
Tales of Somethingendinginia (OK, and the Abyss)
Crackdown
Battlefield: Bad Company
Flower
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
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Battle: kauza
PSN: santakauz
Mii: kauza
Gamertag: kauza
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Interviewing the interviewer: A silly chat with LawofThermalDynamics
Andrew Kauz | 11:56 AM on 04.02.2011 22 comments




Why the hell would someone want to interview a bunch of people all the time? Yeah, stupid question, but it's that question that led me here today to present this interview to you, which is pretty contradictory if you think about it.

In any event, you know that guy who interviews community members? I think his name is LawofThermalPoopmatics or something. I'm about 38% certain that he's the guy to whom I sent a bunch of interview questions recently. Topics included racism, the results of the 2016 presidential elections of the United Republic of Earth, and mechanical dentistry. The answers were fascinating and enlightening, so I decided to keep those for a few years to myself and sell them for profit. What follows is a different set of questions. Please enjoy.



Kauza: To start off, remember that one time a bunch of community members sent a bunch of questions for you to answer? Should I ask those exact same questions in a slightly different order?

The Other Guy: Well I guess no, seeing as though I already answered them.

Now that we've acknowledged my unoriginality, let's talk about your originality. Interviewing community members is a pretty cool thing to do. But let's hear it from you -- why do it?

It was the community itself that made me want to do interviews. If I had to find an exact origin point I would say that a community member (and talented pianist) named AlphaDeus once wrote a blog detailing the pain and troubles in his life. It really opened my eyes that the people here were real, not just usernames and funny comments (Ignorant I know, but the anonymity on the internet really creates a distance between people) . They are also the most interesting people that I have ever met and it was because I wanted to get in contact with them that I started the interviews..

Tell us the story of how you came to Destructoid, but somehow incorporate a polar bear, two Lebanese prostitutes and a copy of The Rocketeer on DVD.

I was a researcher located in the North Pole studying mating habits of the Polar Bear when my satellite phone started ringing. Knowing only HQ had my number I picked it up expecting them to demand all the research I compiled so far. When I picked up the phone it was indeed HQ but instead of my research, they told me there was an emergency back home and I needed to rush to HQ as quickly as possible.

I arrived the next day to find the offices in shambles. It seems that for Faculty movie night, someone put in Rocketeer thinking it was a bio flick of Elton John. It was safe to assume that a riot by the employees tore the place apart.

They told me they needed something, but my mind already in Private Investigator mode, ignored them and went to the only reliable source I knew for shady operations such as the one I imagined myself to be in. Two Lebanese prostitutes. At first they played dumb and refused to tell me anything saying things like “What are you talking about?” and “You’re crazy!” but money opens all holes (Pun not intended) (Well…it is now). They told me they once had a client who wore a robot helmet and that he ran an information website….of all sorts of shady dealings I assumed. Naturally I followed the trail to Destructoid. And I was never seen again.



Do you have a favorite interview that you've done? If you can't pick one, pick a couple.

Dammit, they all have their awesome moments, but if I had to pick a couple it would be Elsa’s because it was my first interview and because I couldn’t ask for a better start. Getting to know Elsa was enlightening to say the least.

Conversely, did you ever try to do an interview that ended up just turning into a total disaster? If not, make up a story of the time you tried to interview me while I was hopped up on pop rocks and cola. Actually, do that anyway.

I may actually have an answer to the first half of that question. Guncannon still hasn’t turned in an interview even though I sent one to him like 5 months ago. Still waiting on that one buddy.

As for part 2. Let’s see…

Once I tried to interview Andrew Kauz, but something was wrong as he was jittery, and his eyes were unfocused (I did this interview in person). I first thought drugs, but then realized who I was interviewing and instead settled on the more likely explanation of sugar and caffeine. I then asked him “Hey, how about that Metal Gear?”

The next thing I remember, I woke up halfway through Street Fighter The Movie with no recollection of the past 4 days and copies of the Metal Gear games and Kauz’s writings all around me. And my wallet was gone.



Think you'll ever run out of people to interview? If so, what happens then?

My fear is that I won’t be able to interview everyone because there are so many of them I want to interview. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I won’t be able to do this forever and when that time comes I’ll probably…I don’t know what I’ll do…but for now, I'd rather not think about it.

What's one question that you've always wished someone would ask you in an interview?

Q: Can a swallow carry a coconut?

What's the answer to the one question that you've always wished someone would ask you in an interview?

A: Depends on the swallow.

The Internet has many gifts to give. What's the greatest gift the Internet has ever given you?

The world.

Honestly, thanks to the internet I've come into contact with so many people with similar, dissimilar; stories, creativity, art, information, Destructoid, friends I've moved away from, friends I've met for the first time, humor, videos, music, funny pictures. Everything anyone in the world can think of at the tip of my fingertips.

If you could sum yourself up in one image you randomly find from a Google images search, what would that image be?



Attached photos:

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Those who have fapped:  Caitlin Cooke  


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19 comments | showing # 1 to 19
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Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 12:44
Occams electric toothbrush
Lovely! Law's interviews are such a treat and really go a long way to making this community a lot more substantial. We get to know the people behind the screen names and that makes us all a bit richer for it. Thank you Law for taking your time and energy and passion for doing this. It is one of the reasons I site when talking about why I love Destructoid to the people I keep in my basement.

Also, thanks to Andrew for interviewing the interviewer. This was long overdue and we all appreciate it.
TriplZer0's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 13:02
TriplZer0
Now all we need is Law to interview Kauza again about the interview about being interviewed because he does the interviews? What? My brain hurts.

Thanks for all the fun interviews Law.
falsenipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 13:10
falsenipple
I'm fapping for Francis Bacon.
ScottyG's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 13:14
ScottyG
Very nice guys! I love reading the interviews, and it was a treat to learn more about the man behind the interviews. <3
garethxxgod's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 14:03
garethxxgod
I wish I was as important as Law. Someday....someday.

Thanks for doing what started out as a C-Blog thing that eventually became a community thing, and really helped us get to know one another. I'm glad it's caught on as you deserve your "important status" within said community.
HandsomeBeast's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 14:16
HandsomeBeast
The C-Blog Interviews are one of my favorite things in the community. It pleases my stalker mind by letting know a little about people in this community. Law deserves the attention and it's also his fault that I'll won't forget the Laws of Thermodynamics for awhile.
Corduroy Turtle's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 14:27
Corduroy Turtle
I remember the moment when you decided to start doing interviews. In fact, it's right here. Keep up the awesome, Law. You're a solid dude.
SteezyXL's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 15:11
SteezyXL
This was great. I think I speak for all of us when I say we appreciate these interviews Law. Keep em coming.
Nihil's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 16:46
Nihil
Wouldn't be the same Dtoid without him.
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 17:49
smurfee mcgee
Wanna see me swallow a live Mollusk?
Scissors's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 18:19
Scissors
This was great, I know everyone hears this all the time, but I'll say it anyways. The community is amazing here I identify more with some of the people I've met here that I've only known for a short period of time than I have with people I've been friends with in IRL for years.
Joanna Mueller's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2011 22:28
Joanna Mueller
I always wondered what was wrong with that guy, and now I know. :P
Usedtabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/03/2011 06:55
Usedtabe
Hell yea LAW..L.
Xander Markham's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/03/2011 09:55
Xander Markham
Law is legend. That is all. (And kudos for the Holy Grail reference)
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/03/2011 10:27
Elsa
AWESOME, AWESOME AWESOME!!!
So nice to see Law getting grilled... I just adore reading the interviews with community members and they really do help to make Dtoid even more of a community!

Thanks for taking the time to interview the interviewer! (and the findng Destructoid story was hilarious!)
Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/03/2011 11:42
Mr Andy Dixon
Thanks to both of you for doing this!
LawofThermalDynamics's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/03/2011 12:50
LawofThermalDynamics
What!?!? I don't remember doing this!!!...wait....yeah...no, it's all coming back to me now.

Thank you everyone for the kind words and thanks you Kauz for the interview.
Stevil's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/03/2011 14:48
Stevil
So, this guy isn't some creepy stalker who wanted to know all about me in the name of identity theft?

Well, my preconceptions have been well and truly blown out of the water.

;)
rexwolf2's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/03/2011 22:35
rexwolf2
I can't believe I missed this!

Law, you are a great part of this community. The interviews are amazing (and fun to participate in), and your other blogs are just as amusing. More than that, though, you're a great pal. I think I've talked about all the awesome stuff you've introduced me to more than enough. Also, you have one sexy forehead. Never change, man.

Kauza's... alright.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go play Cave Story while listening to Radiohead.
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