"Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of." -John Flansburgh
I am currently playing: Super Street Fighter IV
League of Legends
The Object Obscura Archive: Shadow hearts: Covenant
No One Can Stop Mr. Domino
The first video game I ever played was Ninja Gaiden. It took me ages to get past that knife throwing motherfucker in the second level.
Here's a list of some of my favorite video games, if you care:
Final Fantasy IX
Final Fantasy X
Beyond Good and Evil
Earthworm Jim 1 and 2, but 2 was better because it's actually possible to beat. Also, Blind Cave Salamander is an awesome stage.
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Donkey Kong Country 2
Dynasty Warriors 4
Guilty Gear Accent Core (That was when they got Slayer just right.)
No One Can Stop Mr. Domino
Bust A Groove
No More Heroes
The Castlevania Series
When I was younger, my older brother and I used to play Mortal Kombat (We had it for the Genesis, which we bought instead of a SNES strictly for the blood code.) and he would always beat me by tripping the shit out of me until I died. Years later I discovered low block. The world has never been the same.
So I got my present today, and I couldn't be more thrilled.
Let's jump right in and see what I got.
First, a card:
What's that? a hand drawn Captain Strong?! Wait, do my eyes deceive me?
No, they don't! That's the coolest thing ever!
Alright, alright get it together. What else have we got?
A neat button:
A cool sticker:
And the Piece de Resistance, the incredibly well made Mother 3 fan handbook!
This thing is badass. It's got all these neat claymation illustrations (I think they were part of the original games advertising or something) as well as seperate illustrations of every enemy, including one of my favorites:
And check out this bitchin' poster that it comes with:
So it goes without saying (even though I said it) that this is the best present ever. I don't know who got it for me, but they rule.
I posted half of a comic purchased at the door of PAX yesterday. This is the second half (or first half if you want to be difficult about things) of that comic. I feel as if I should make a few things known beforehand. I neither support or un-support Mormons. I bet some of them are pretty rad dudes. Lastly, my scan abilities are less than desirable, so for the unreadable parts on the notebook paper, I have included the text below with spelling and punctuation intact.
Dear Jesus or other high ranking Angels that may find this letter,
My name is Nathan Rogers, I'm a member of the LDS Church. I'm writing you this letter as a very desparate attempt to save my family and friends who have made a colony here in heaven on the planet Kolob. I don't expect to save myself and I don't really think I deserve to live. Because right now I don't really understand the difference between heaven and hell and I really don't believe you exist at all.
We've been here for about 5 months. We came here from the planet earth to be by your grace and to see all our loved ones again who passed away during the Great Holy War. Maybe it's because we cheated and came to heaven the wrong way. That's why it's been so hard.
Coming to Kolob has been a struggle for all of us. We lost a quarter of our settlers of New Salt Lake during the first 2 months from radiation sickness while we were still building safe housing that can withstand the immense radiation from the God Star. Most of the deaths were of the more able bodied men doing the construction work of our housing. Sacrifices were to be expected, I thought their deaths were just a minor set back, and very soon they would be reunited with their loved ones when we located exactly where you castle is along with the cities where all the normal angels and saved lived.
What my dad said, really disturbed me. Until that time I never doubted that I would be the one to locate heaven underground and save every one. I put all my trust in Thomas Woodruff, my parents, and the Mormon scientist. They were all so smart. I mean, the scientists discovered a way to travel here to Kolob using wave propulsion engine and they created the Digdug arm that drills and blows dirt clear to move through solid ground with ease. With such brilliant minds, who am I to question anything they say.
Tunneling underground reminds me a lot more of earth, compared to the surface, with the extreme heat and radiation. I don't really like thinking about what we left behind on earth. I don't like to dwell.
After I escaped the underground that's when I decided to write you this letter. What am I supposed to think, now? Is everything I've grown up to believe all of my life and everyone that I've loved and trusted wrong? Is there no heaven, no golden paradise, no God? Are all my fondest hopes and aspirations, everything I believe an elaborate fable?
I've lost everything and everyone in life and death.
I can't return home. I won't spread what I've discovered to everyone else. They wouldn't accept me, anyhow. Please help them if...
Here's my contribution from PAX 09. 1/2 of a Morman comic that I didn't even pay the three dollars for (Chooly did). I stood in line to play Borderlands and read this, and thought, " This is so over the top. People have to see this." There wasn't any fine print in this book saying not to post it on the internet, so if you're Aaron Wright and want me to pull it, just let me know.
This isn't the best scan ever made, but it gets the job done. Without further ado, I present to you The Legend of that Link Kid: An 8 Bit Tragedy Presentation.
[Every month (Except last month) Analoge showcases an overlooked, under-appreciated, or just plain weird piece of video game history in a segment called Object Obscura.]
First of all, thanks to Chronoswing for suggesting this wonderfully bizarre game to me.
Incredible Crisis is a Videos Game for your Television Entertainment System (TES). It was produced by Titus, and developed by Polygon Magic (the makers of a very eclectic catalog including the Rambo arcade game and the Galerians series) The basic premise is this: You are a Japanese Family. It is the Grandmother person's birthday, and tonight will be a special dinner celebration in her honor (the only reason for living, according to her). So you all go your separate ways: Taneo (the father person), Etsuko (mother woman), Ririka (tentacle-fodder), and Tsuyoshi (kid who looks kinda like Conan from Case Closed) with the maternal instructions to be back early for dinner. What happens next is told through some of the most ridiculous minigames ever, accompanied by a soundtrack by the ever-sexy Tokyo Ska Paradise.
The father leaves for his soul-crushing Japanese office job (making license plates or whatever it is they do) When suddenly an impromptu dance-a-thon is started and you're plunged into a rhythm-game style minigame. Soon after, you're being chased by a giant boulder a la Indiana Jones. Next you're riding in an ambulance playing a quiz-game being asked questions like "Taro is heavier than Hanako; Pierre is heavier than Taro. Hanako is the oldest and Pierre was born before Taro. Is Taro heavier than Pierre?" and "HAHOHOHOHOHOHIHOHUHOHO... Were there 12 HO's?". When the paramedics are satisfied That you're OK based on their ridiculous questions they launch you out of their ambulance on a stretcher, where you're forced to dodge cars and motorcycles. After that, you wind up giving backrubs to strange women on ferris wheels, followed shortly by shooting at fighter jets in a Navy turret gun. All this, only to show up right on time for Grandma's special meal. What a day, right? Well that's just Dad's adventure! We still have to thwart bank robbers and destroy giant teddy bears in fighter jets as Mom, go make-up shopping and meet aliens as Ririka, and be shrunk down and fight bugs as Conan Edogawa.
In spite of each challenge being more ridiculous than the next, they actually fit into a plot that isn't as batshit crazy as it would seem. It all follows one storyline that weaves each family member in pretty well (as well as a batshit crazy, uber-Japanese mini-game collection can, anyway). I really loved how each character finishes they're wild adventures just in time to make it home for Grandma's party.
As far as gameplay goes, It's a bit sub-par. Some of the games are incredibly (pun intended) hard, and your fingers will hurt like crazy after an extended playthrough. Also, some of the minigames repeat themselves (although it is done as a bit of a joke). Really though, it's less about the destination ( slightly annoying mini-games) and more about the journey. The incredible journey.
There really isn't much more that can be said about Incredible Crisis. It's another weird PSX game and I Iove it. Check it out, if you're down with strange gaming experiences, and if you have any suggestions for further installments of Object Obscura be sure and let me know. Chances are I'll end up doing it eventually.