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Analoge avatar 5:11 PM on 09.08.2009  (server time)
Object Obscura: Incredible Crisis

[Every month (Except last month) Analoge showcases an overlooked, under-appreciated, or just plain weird piece of video game history in a segment called Object Obscura.]

First of all, thanks to Chronoswing for suggesting this wonderfully bizarre game to me.

Incredible Crisis is a Videos Game for your Television Entertainment System (TES). It was produced by Titus, and developed by Polygon Magic (the makers of a very eclectic catalog including the Rambo arcade game and the Galerians series) The basic premise is this: You are a Japanese Family. It is the Grandmother person's birthday, and tonight will be a special dinner celebration in her honor (the only reason for living, according to her). So you all go your separate ways: Taneo (the father person), Etsuko (mother woman), Ririka (tentacle-fodder), and Tsuyoshi (kid who looks kinda like Conan from Case Closed) with the maternal instructions to be back early for dinner. What happens next is told through some of the most ridiculous minigames ever, accompanied by a soundtrack by the ever-sexy Tokyo Ska Paradise.

The father leaves for his soul-crushing Japanese office job (making license plates or whatever it is they do) When suddenly an impromptu dance-a-thon is started and you're plunged into a rhythm-game style minigame. Soon after, you're being chased by a giant boulder a la Indiana Jones. Next you're riding in an ambulance playing a quiz-game being asked questions like "Taro is heavier than Hanako; Pierre is heavier than Taro. Hanako is the oldest and Pierre was born before Taro. Is Taro heavier than Pierre?" and "HAHOHOHOHOHOHIHOHUHOHO... Were there 12 HO's?". When the paramedics are satisfied That you're OK based on their ridiculous questions they launch you out of their ambulance on a stretcher, where you're forced to dodge cars and motorcycles. After that, you wind up giving backrubs to strange women on ferris wheels, followed shortly by shooting at fighter jets in a Navy turret gun. All this, only to show up right on time for Grandma's special meal. What a day, right? Well that's just Dad's adventure! We still have to thwart bank robbers and destroy giant teddy bears in fighter jets as Mom, go make-up shopping and meet aliens as Ririka, and be shrunk down and fight bugs as Conan Edogawa.

In spite of each challenge being more ridiculous than the next, they actually fit into a plot that isn't as batshit crazy as it would seem. It all follows one storyline that weaves each family member in pretty well (as well as a batshit crazy, uber-Japanese mini-game collection can, anyway). I really loved how each character finishes they're wild adventures just in time to make it home for Grandma's party.

As far as gameplay goes, It's a bit sub-par. Some of the games are incredibly (pun intended) hard, and your fingers will hurt like crazy after an extended playthrough. Also, some of the minigames repeat themselves (although it is done as a bit of a joke). Really though, it's less about the destination ( slightly annoying mini-games) and more about the journey. The incredible journey.

There really isn't much more that can be said about Incredible Crisis. It's another weird PSX game and I Iove it. Check it out, if you're down with strange gaming experiences, and if you have any suggestions for further installments of Object Obscura be sure and let me know. Chances are I'll end up doing it eventually.

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