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In a stupid Russian accent: "On Destructoid Dot Com, Internet looks at YOU!" So, yeah, stop staring at me. I'm just a gamer guy with a bit of typing diarrhea, which caused my short comments on news items to get out of hand.. so I decided I should start a blog to give them the space they needed. But anyway, this is my Dtoid profile, let's get started.

I obtained an original NES when I was five years old and still have it, along with all the Nintendo consoles since, all of which can be hooked up and played within a moment's notice. Oh, and I still have the old Zapper. Whoopee.

I am not a Nintendo fanboy (not completely, anyway) since I did own a Playstation for a while, and now have an Xbox 360 after having the original Xbox for the last year of it's run, and find myself all over it's achievements like a madman. I'm up to 33000 or so as of this writing in July '07. Check my Gamercard if you're from the future to see where I am now!

Favourite games include, but are not limited to: Zelda, Metroid and Mario anything (BEE SUIT). Resident Evil since I got hooked on the GC remake, Halo (don't kill me!), Grim Fandango, pretty much all the N64 Rare made games including Conker's Bad Fur Day, the C&C series, Monkey Island series, YDKJ series (don't know what that is, do you?), Eternal Darkness, Killer7, GTA series, the Myst series, the Worms games before they went to 3D and even though I can't hit the orange note half the time.. Guitar Hero.

Those games were listed in the order I thought of them, I'm not going to re-arrange them in my preferance order. Who knows which I like the most?!

Oh, and for crap I own.. I'm big into soundtracks, so whenever I can, I get the soundtrack to a game. And I mean, the actualy disc, not just downloading it. That's pretty hard where I live, so.. yeah. Hardcore, I guess. Woo.
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First of all, spare me all of your Halo hate, I know the Dtoid community is mostly against it in general. This is mostly about its foolishness in advertising, not the game itself.

Yes sir, that there virtual tour of the Halo 3 diorama/monument of the battle of New Mombasa is plenty spiffy, but as you glide along the pre-set path showing you dynamic views of intense looking battles, you might notice that there are links to enemy profiles and 'First Person Accounts' from now old veterans of the battle (As the monument was supposedly created about 50 years later, yeah whatever).

You might also notice little links to videos. These include the now famous 'Cereal Serious Business' ad with the elderly accented man talking about firing from an overturned Warthog (which is in there too, indeed). Also, near the end of the tour, there is a link to the other diorama based ad you may have seen here on Dtoid, where the Model Master Chief arms a plasma grenade and lifts his head at the end. I'm sure he does something bad ass with it after that, but wouldn't it be nice if we could see what it was?

This brings me to my next point.. which is actually the only point behind this blog post. There are three other videos linked to along the guided tour, named 'Hunted', 'Translator' and 'Gravesite', respectively. The first two of these videos will not be available until September 25th, 2007. That's right, on the game's launch day! While it might seem appropriate at first, I ask you: What is the bloody point of unlocking content no one will be around to watch? Did they really think anyone would go back to check on those promotional videos when they could be out snapping up the real deal?! No one's going to go back and slowly slide through the tour's path to get to them again, especially not after the 25th! I figured they'd lead up to the release, like any normal promo videos would.

Anyway, whatever. The real messed up thing is that the 3rd video I mentionned is going to be released on October 1st, almost a full week after the game's release. What the hell? No one, no one, no one will see that. Why wait that long at all? Is there spoilerific material in it? If so, and they're waiting to make sure everyone's finished the game before such story ruiners are revealed, then their logic is still failed, because there'll be plenty of people who might have waited to get a copy, or simply couldn't.. if but for 6 days, anyway. And while they're waiting on getting their copies, they can go online and see news of whatever spoilers are contained within, thanks to some internet cockjockey.

Of course, if there was such a person who wouldn't have the game at that point, but also cared about not getting things ruined, they might try to stay off of the net, a la Harry Potter 7 or something.

I don't know. I didn't mean for this to turn into a long rant. But if you've ever read any of my other posts, you'll know I have a tendency to let things get out of hand, post-length-wise.

Some spoilers about gameplay, I guess: No story spoilers here!

No, this isn't a review. I pretty much completely agree with Tristero's 'official word'.

I do want to say, though, that while they're really good, I thought the controls weren't that perfect. Not as awesome as everyone seems to say, anyway. All the hardcore people (I think) seem to prefer the 'Advanced' controls, where there's pretty much no dead zone at all where you can move the Wiimote without moving the screen. I thought it was smooth and all, but sometimes I just want to be able to keep my video game head from drifting around if my arm or wrist gets just a bit slack. After a handful of hours of getting tired of seemingly being unable to make Samus exert her neck muscles to keep her head in place, I switched to the middle setting of 'Standard' and thought I'd try it for a bit. Then when done the game, I realized I never thought about changing back. Oh well, that's a matter of preference, I know. I'm just surprised no one else seems to think the same way about the 'Advanced' setting.

Also, I was so focused on shooting people in the face with my Wiimote, I forgot to dance around and aovoid being hit like I used to. That's just me, though.

As for the overall feel of the game.. I don't know. Maybe it was how fast I went through it, and I barely stopped to smell the roses.. or maybe it was how I had just been playing BioShock for a solid week.. or maybe it was my intense need to compare Prime 3 to the first 2 to make sure it measured up that I missed how good it was while it lasted. Or my obsession with finding everything and scanning everything in as timely a manner as possible..

Anyway, I finished it in three days, and it seemed like I might have gone too fast, but I had all but one scan and only missed 2 pickups (which I got after another hour or two anyway), so how rushed could it have been if I completed it so thoroughly?

Oh, and those battles during puzzle sequences? Or rather.. puzzles during never ending battles? If you don't see it.. if you don't realize that you need to do more than kill everyone, because they just keep coming.. well, you wind up killing space pirates for a half hour before you figure out you need to do a bunch of stuff at the same time, too. (Stuff that might reset before you're done, even!) And then you're pissed off at yourself for not realizing it.. and you just get mad at the enemies that keep bugging you while you're trying to work! I bet it'd be fine if you knew it was happening, but you're just as likely to be really mad at the game for doing that to you. That sort of thing never happened before.. at least not in a Metroid game. Not that I remember. And, what if you come into a battle with several enemies and you start thinking there's a puzzle you have to do.. but it's really just the enemies to kill? That could be crappy too. I haven't heard anyone else mention these before.

And, while the grapple flinging in battle is cool, does it have to make you stand still to do it? Doesn't that kinda defeat the purpose of this awesome control scheme that lets you free aim and strafe and everything? But then you get locked in while you rip off a shield, or tear a bot apart while 4 others blast at you while you could be shifting and shooting. Oh well! I'm sure everyone noticed how much more grapple action there was in the game, just to make the nunchuk get used more. Not a bad idea, but.. well, it starts feeling a bit too much. Why does the grapple suddenly do so very much?! Whatever.

I'm not going to say anything about how you use the right handed Wiimote to move Samus' left hand because I understand most people are right handed.. and that the Wiimote is the main component. Actually, I don't have a problem with it, I just like bringing up stuff like that, because I'm a lefty.

Enough has been said about the inclusion of talking people and other things.. the only thing I'll say about that is I didn't mind it all, I just wish they'd get off the radio. I don't mind the hints and map things telling me where to go.. but when you stop me from scanning stuff while you talk to me on the radio, I get antsy! Didn't they let you turn off the hint system in the other two? Yes it did! Oh, and WHY is the hint system comprised of a giant QUESTION mark on a room? Shouldn't it be an arrow and an Exclamation mark. A question mark makes me think.. "Ok, Samus, there's SOMETHING over there, what is it? We don't know. Go look!" Most of the time, they know and they told you what it is. I know, sometimes they really don't know, but still.

Wow, this is turning into a rant. I want to remind anyone reading that I did love the game and I love the series and I love the Wii, so I think that's why I'm being so hard on Metroid, here. I'm bashing its little faults that kept it from being perfect in my eyes. I rant because I care!

One more thing: Stacking beams is great so you don't have to switch.. but I kinda liked the transformer stylings of the presto-chango blaster arm cannon in the first 2 Primes. That, and if you knew what to use, you could toast everything pretty well. In the new one, since your beam just gets more and more powerful, so do the enemies, leveling up like in an RPG. So you wind up just button mashing away at them. Or charge shooting them. I generally wound up just multi-missiling anything tough I came across. Like Pirate Commandos. (More like Pirate Commandon'ts!) Was the free aiming system really supposed to make us overlook the lack of strategy of picking the right tool for the job?

I just don't know.. I'm certainly going to play it again. I'll be able to relax and enjoy it more, I think. I find I appreciate everything more the second time, because my brain knows what's coming and isn't constantly grabbing every new thing it's presented with and clamouring for the next bit. Also, movies seem shorter the second time because of this, I think.. anyone else notice that?

BioShock is about the story, the moral choices, the collapse of a once truly utopian society.

It's about the implementation and combination of varied disparate violent elements used for the action, to allow the player to defend themselves through a myriad of unique ways. The combat as customizable as the weapons and self modifications used to wage these battles.

It's about all the little things, the details in the world, it's visual representation and the degradation of that which was once fantasical and pristine.

It's about its darkness and mood of isolation, desperation for escape and survival, and perhaps the yearning to help those not yet completely gone, beyond the players ability to aid them.

It's about Why and How did it all go so very wrong?

So! Auroras, eh?

Spoilers of a trailer within:

The newest trailer for Metroid Prime 3 has some spooky details revealed about an interesting bit of technology within the Metroid Universe. Allow me to paraphrase: 'Developed by Galactic Federation scientists, an Aurora is a biological super computer. Originally intended for scientific use, they are now used by large companies, the military, etc. Thousands of Auroras have been produced and are assigned female, male, or gender neutral personas. All of them can be linked via a network, giving them access to a near limitless database.'

(Aww, isn't that cute, they have the internets too!)

The most interesting thing that can be seen in this trailer is what an Aurora looks like. Although in 3D, it's hard to recognize. Not until I saw one in a water filled, glass tube, surrounded by familiar tubing and automated defences did I realize. It's a freaking Mother Brain!

Now, anyone who's seen the trailer knows this already, of course. Although, in truth, the declaration should be: 'Mother Brain was an Aurora supercomputer!'

Thanks to this new preview, we can be certain we will see an Aurora in Prime 3. Hopefully not an evil one, though.. of course, since we know now they're really just tools used by organizations, it's really up to whoever owns these fancy PCs to dictate their personality. I guess. It may be that Samus will need to interact with one that the Federation owns and utilizes. Or one of each variety.

The unfortunate North America cartoonization of all the Nintendo franchises decades ago lead people to think 'Mother Brain' was a sort of Queen of the Space Pirates, that talked and.. well, mostly talked, I guess. And wore make-up. I never saw those old cartoons. But still, did they have to do that?

Anyway, I always believed old Brainy was simply a hub controlling force, but it seems now that it may have simply been a computer to analyse logistical data and perhaps advise on the Pirate's next move. Why make a big honking PC the end boss in those old games, though? Well, since it was such an integral part of the Pirates operation (maybe it controlled environmental systems on Zebes too, it's destruction triggering a meltdown of the base, self destruct mechanism or not), it makes sense that Samus would target it after the defeat of all her more mobile foes. Take out their information systems, why not? Of course, all those automated defences and lava didn't hurt to make leave that pile of junk for last.

(Who puts lava in a room with a supercomputer?! They need cooling. God forbid there was a Mother 360!)

Of course, one has to mention Mother Brain's sudden locomotion at the end of Super Metroid. I can only surmise the pirates made that body for their (most likely newly bought/stolen Aurora compy) current Brain, in case they ever had another run in with one of those wacky bounty hunters. Prime 1 mentions briefly that they basically made Ridley a new body after the original Metroid, resulting in Meta-Ridley, so why not make a nice last defence for their persona-acquipped hub computer? It would have worked too, if it weren't for those darn kids.. well, just one kid Metroid.

So! Mother Brain: Evil bio-supercomputer with a mind of it's own and a penchant for galatic domination? Or simply an effective, well guarded tool used by the pirates to strategize and organize?

Also, now I can't help but think about comparisons and paralells between these newly detailed Auroras and the human-personality endowed holographic AIs of Halo.

Uh oh, you can't mix Metroid and Halo! Especially not on Dtoid! I'm doomed!

Sorry to steal your catch phrase, Concelmo.

I'm sure many others probably already know, or at least figured that Nintendo was waiting to release Super Metroid around the same time as Metroid Prime 3 on the Wii, and that's now been confirmed by the news on the Wii Shop channel of all places.

The detail their 'Month of Metroid' as follows: The Metroid Prime 3 preview channel download for WiiWare last week, the original Metroid download for the Virtual Console this week (Aug 13th) and the über-hotness that was, is and will be Super Metroid for download on the Virtual Console next week (Monday August 20th)!

Oh, and Prime 3 the week after that, of course. But come on, we'll all still be playing good old Metroid 3 then, right?

On a personal note, I had just returned from my local EBGames after purchasing a new Wii Points card, because I suspected that this was going to happen, when I found this tidbit of newsgasm. Vindication never felt so good.

PS - Do you think I'm too excited about this?

Sorry for anyone looking for another one of my long winded posts about whatever just struck me about videro games, but I'm just looking for feedback on the banner I just uploaded.

What'dya think guys? I churned it out in an hour or so. I hope you like pipes.

More actual serious gaming posts are forthcoming, I'm sure of it. Because this site and the internet in general is nothing if not SERIUS BUSINEZZ.