INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY. DAY

HOUSE is walking down a hospital hallway (set #02) when he is interrupted by CAMERON

HOUSE: You're in my way.

CAMERON (Handing him clipboard): We've got a dog and a rabbit, trying to get inside a giant ball of twine, a bucket of fish, a spanner, a rasp, world of fish magnet--



HOUSE: Not interested. (Walks the other way)

CAMERON (stepping in front): They need to get into that twine!

HOUSE: Wait. Have I stepped into some alternate universe in which Not Interested means 'Please Get in My Way?'

CAMERON: We have a piece of fur and a severed hand.

HOUSE: Use the severed hand on the twine. Call me when you're done.

CAMERON: Tried that.

HOUSE: Use the rabbit. Oldest trick in the book.

CAMERON: Tried that too. Results were negative.



HOUSE (inscrutably): Why do you want into this twine so badly?

CAMERON: I don't. The Dog and the rabbit...

HOUSE: Yes?

CAMERON: Okay, you're right House, way to dig into my psyche.

HOUSE (ponders for a moment).

CUT. INT. DIAGNOSIS ROOM. DAY

HOUSE enters, pursued by CAMERON. FOREMAN, KUTNER, TAUB, and "THIRTEEN" are just sitting around with nothing better to do.



KUTNER: Got a kid with eye cancer. Four days to live.

HOUSE: Can't. Well, could, but won't. Cameron here wants us to do a case.

THIRTEEN: What?

CAMERON: Ignore him. We've got a dog and rabbit--

FOREMAN: Wait, House, you're doing what Cameron says now?

HOUSE (batting his eyes, looking heavenward): I've found my calling.

CAMERON: Dog and rabbit.

KUTNER: Bunny.

CAMERON: Rabbit. Max and... Sam I think.

HOUSE: You know their names by heart? That's just sad. (Passes out copies of the report now in a blue folder for the others to peruse).

CAMERON: Trying to get something from a ball of twine.

HOUSE: I don't even know "Thirteen's" name, and it's been a year.



THIRTEEN (Eyeing house): Maybe it's a red herring.

ALL briefly pause.

THIRTEEN: Producers put it in there, no solution, everybody wastes their time guessing while a kid dies of eye cancer.

TAUB: They wouldn't do that.

HOUSE: Wouldn't, or shouldn't because your marriage is falling apart.

TAUB: Wouldn't and no, my marriage isn't falling apart.

FOREMAN (reading the report): Doesn't say anything about this thing they want.

CAMERON: Because it doesn't matter. It's just a thing they want.

FOREMAN: Maybe it's magnetic. Attach the magnet to the hand and boom, done.



CAMERON: Tried that.

TAUB: Walking dead?

CAMERON: It's LucasArts.

THIRTEEN: Use Max on the twine? He can get in there.

CAMERON: He can't, too tight.

KUTNER: What if it's Lupus?

Everyone stares at him. He stands.

HOUSE: It's never Lupus.

THIRTEEN: Except that one time it was.

KUTNER: I don't mean actually Lupus. What if it's like Lupus. I mean... what if it's not with you, but with the twine.



FOREMAN: Release the twine, get the item.

THIRTEEN: You're reaching.

Suddenly HOUSE seems lost in thought.

TAUB: But how do we do that?

FOREMAN: Same solution as before. Use the rabbit on the twine.

CAMERON: We tried that!

FOREMAN: Well try it again! Try it again until it works!

TAUB: Maybe we need to go back over all the locations again. See if there's something we missed?

HOUSE: Wait. (Looks to Thirteen) . Say that thing again.

THIRTEEN: Except that time that it was.

HOUSE: No, no! The other thing.

THIRTEEN (Annoyed): Um, something about Kutner, trying to hard. This a game of try to remember what you said?



HOUSE: Just wanted to watch your lips move. God! Anyway, you said it so much nicer before.

KUTNER: Did I say anything nicer?

HOUSE: Reaching. Maybe Kutner's not reaching enough.

CAMERON: We've tried the hand.

HOUSE: I'm talking. Grown up time. What if we treat the problem like real doctors?

THIRTEEN: I'm pretty sure we are.

HOUSE: Not doctors. Doctors.

HOUSE leaves, abruptly.

KUTNER: Glad to see he needs us.

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY. DAY

WATSON--I mean, WILSON is getting into an elevator. HOLMES--I mean HOUSE blocks the door with his cane. Since he's an addict and all, he pops a few pills maybe.



WILSON: Can you never let me go down anymore.

HOUSE gives him a sideways glance.

WILSON: You're a child.

HOUSE enters the elevator, steps next to WILSON.

HOUSE: What do you know about Gator Golf?

WILSON: This never gets old.