125 lbs. (subject to change)
Approx. 7820 days old (definitely will change)
My name is Alex! I'm a fourth year University student at Memorial University in Newfoundland, Canada. I enjoy literature, comedy, creative writing, and video-games. I am looking forward to joining destructoid and contributing to it in any way I can!
I also enjoy standup comedy and write jokes in my sparetime!
You just bought an amazing new game. You blaze home in your run down car and try to not slip over the ice on the driveway as you make your way to the door. You tear off that overcoat and rip into the shrink wrap like there's no tomorrow. You finally load the game and let the first notes of the start up screen fill your ears. This game is amazing, you've never played anything like it. Then it happens....you're 2 hours in and you come across a bug....A bug that is so game breaking you cannot even continue. The only thing left to do is turn off the system and watch "The Price is Right" re-runs on your wasted fake sick day. Here are my top 5 game breaking video-game bugs.
#5. Fire Ant (Fallout 3)
These Fire ants give the term a whole new meaning with flamethrowers mounted on their tonsils. These giant bugs from Fall Out 3 are capable of burning down entire cities with their built in foreman grills. What's even worse is that these bugs were genetically mutated by a fellow man (Dr. Lesko)! Lesko sounds more like a name for a soda brand then a Doctor if you ask me. Take that bug nerds!
#4. King Zing (Donkey Kong Land 2: Diddy's Kong Quest)
This buzzing monstrosity is one of the bosses in Donkey Kong Land 2: Diddy's Kong Quest. The noise that this bee makes is purely mind numbing. You'll find yourself screaming like Nicholas Cage in "The Wicker Man" if you don't bring down this foe fast enough. The only thing capable of defeating such a creature? Coconuts. And lots of them. I hope you have a pet parrot capable of shooting coco-puffs from its gullet handy!
#3. Wiggler (Super Mario World)
This seemingly friendly character made its first appearance in Super Mario World. They seem nice enough but beneath that courteous visage they boil and bubble with a hatred for all things. You know when they interview a serial killer's neighbours and no one suspected them of being crazy because they were such a nice person? Yeah, Wiggler.
#2. Zerg (Starcraft)
If you're not good at Star Craft some 13 year old will 6 pool you so fast you won't have time to type "glhf". Better block off that ramp or you're done for. Zerg are so infamous that you may not even play Star Craft but you have probably heard of the term "Zerg Rush". Zerg are capable of amassing an army so fast that they can bum-rush their opponents harder than a swarm at the local Wal-Mart during Black Friday.
#1. Caterpie (Pokemon)
The baddest bug of them all. This bug from the Pokemon series will eat you alive after it slows you down with a good string shot. Caterpie is the Zubat of Viridian Forest and will tear your starter Pokemon apart. The only thing capable of taking down this micro-menace? Bug Catcher Joey.
Thanks for reading! Happy Holidays everyone. Follow me on Twitter @AlexJWilkie for more jokes/video-game humour and updates of my blog! Enjoy your time spent with friends and family, be kind to others and laugh lots!