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Trenched Contest RESULTS!!!! - Destructoid

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So here are the contest RESLUTS (way better than results) as well as my thought process behind the winners.

First, the haiku about a Dtoid editor.
Right off the bat, Manasteel88 had this very strong haiku, but tell me if you can see something wrong….

“Jonathon Holmes, huh?
Why do you love your wii so much?
Why not me sweetie?”

JonathAn Holmes is weeping into his Wii because of your misspelling.
The winner is NEKOBUN! His ode to Sterling

“Oh my, Jim Sterling
Let me rattle your Dry Bones
'neath that flesh beanbag”

Well done sir! Very sexy stuff going on there. Very sexy...

Now, the second contest, which was to draw a dtoid community member as an animal.
Here are the three entries received.

Manasteel88's picture of Wry Guy:


Caiters' pic of Corduroy Turtle:


Jack Earl's pic of Sonic9jct:


Now, maybe I’m being super fickle, but I expected to see community members as animals. Now, Sonic9jct’s avatar is already an animal, so technically this is a drawing of Sonic9jct as a cyborg, adding the Mr. Destructoid robot body and all. While clearly being the best drawing, I cannot award victory to Jack Earl. Should have made him a dog or something. (I’M FICKLE!!!!)

So it’s between Manasteel88 and Caiters. It would have been a clear win for Caiters if she would have wrote “Shit” instead of “S#!%” (I fucking love swearing).
So, here’s a point by point pros and cons list for both entries.

Manasteel88
Pro:
-Good use of avatar as monkey face
-Same color sky as in Frogbun picture (see gallery), makes Dtoid zoo seem plausible.
Con:
-Bark too smooth on tree.
-No sunglasses on sun.
-Weird hemorrhoids on monkey tail.
-Is Wry Monkey about to eat that banana? Why isn’t it semi peeled?

Caiters
Pros:
-Turtle has a cute face
-Multiple colors
-A lot of colons
Cons:
-Is the face on the top of the head? On the back of the neck?
-aforementioned self censorship
-Tail on the “u” in the sentence “blowing s#!% up” is too long. Also, p is cut off, making is say “Blowing s#!% 41”
-No background image. Is this turtle existing solely amongst words?

Well, they both had 4 cons, but Caiters had 3 pros and Manasteel88 had 2.

CONGRATS CAITERS!!!! YOU’RE A STAR!!!!

You got so close in both cases Manasteel88, but you blew it at the finish line. Go wash your mouth out with soap.

Congrats again to nekobun and Caiters. I will be DMing you soon with the codes!

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