I am a middle man. Nothing in my life has ever pointed in a different direction otherwise (My late great grandma would disagree with this assessment). Now that my credentials have been established, let me continue.
I bought a PS4. Before that I stuck a 650ti in my computer. I have, according to Steam, 108 games in my library. And because I sold my PS3 and 360, I no longer have access to the thousands of dollars I invested in them.
What am I doing exactly? No, really, what the fuck am I doing?
There is no good answer, at least a logical one. At points in my personal self-vaguery, which leads me to write this, what is the point, am I actually getting any sort of return on investment, and by return, I mean enjoyment to offset cost?
And weirdly enough, I am happy with my gaming investment. And its not what you think.
!) I am a better fanboy. I'm not a kind person in general. And being a part of gaming communities for many years now has taught me a patience and humility which only Daniel Day-Lewis could understand when he was crawling out of hole burdened with a broken leg, in the middle of a desert.
!!) Being a responsible consumer. No other market is so burgeoning and raw as gaming. In no other market does feedback from the general public result in massive corporate rethinks and changes. What an amazing thing to witness!
!!!) Jim Sterling. For me, he opened my eyes about the minutia and the incredible uphill battle that game journalists fight through regularly. The inability for game journalists to truly police publishers is easily the scariest thing facing gamers.
!!!!) Games. Non-big-brother games. Ultimately this is the thing. There was a point of quit for me. Then there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I never expected that light to become reality. (I know, were not there yet, but were actually there)
I am a middle man. A nowhere man. A year ago, I was ready to quit. I can see the crack in the infrastructure. My investment is paying off in ways I never could have imagined.