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Alder B Dash's blog

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Alder B Dash avatar 8:04 PM on 04.15.2013  (server time)
Violence: Won't Somebody Please Think of the Excuses?!

Friends, gamers, Destructoid community, lend me your eyeballs. Iíd like to tell you Iím having a good day and this blog is sunshine and lollipop chainsaws, but Lollipop Chainsawís are part of the problem. I am so ANGRY that I could use caps to describe the emotions Iím feeling right now, which is good because I just did.

Some of you may be wondering out there, ďAlder B Dash, whatís wrong? Youíre usually so cheerful. Whatís got your ladies underwear in such a twistĒ?

First of all, who told you about the ladies underwear?

You know what? Moving onÖ

Folks, I donít have kids, as far as I know, but Iím constantly reminded I have the equipment capable of helping produce offspring every time I watch a documentary about some female high school student in her late 20ís failing in our public school system and looking to pick her grades up by sucking the venom out of her teacherís snake bitten genitals. That girl is a hero and deserves an A+, because that thing was swollen as hell.

Thatís why when I found out that parents are upset at the violent video games kids are playing these days I said, ďI could be a parent someday so why not get angry nowĒ?

And what spurred this anger? What reignited the outrage? Apparently Bioshock Infinite, however, I wanted to thrust deeper into the root of the matter until it feels my balls slapping against it from behind.

When the Sandy Hook shooting occurred there were a lot of victims in the tragedy and a lot of emotions were cranked up to 11/10. Now these ďlogicalĒ people out there will tell you the problem was easy access to weapons that fire 30 rounds in just a few seconds, but thatís bullshit. The truth is all these violent video games are the problem.

The Norway killer wrote in a manifesto that he trained for his shooting spree killing over 70 people by playing video games. Now if youíre an individual worried about the violence in video games then obviously the message here is video games are brainwashing our children into becoming deranged and blood thirsty psychopaths. They are correct to think so. I know because Iíve seen it happen.

Now if youíre part of the ďlogicĒ crowed then youíre probably saying, ďAlder B Dash, thatís not enough evidence to support your claim. Clearly that was premeditated and he merely didnít use a product for its intended purpose. Also, thatís just a movieĒ. GET OUT! You click that little red box with the x at the upper right corner and just get the fuck out!

Early this year Asst. Clinical Prof. of Havard Medical School and Roy Brocksmith lookalike, William Pollack, went on television to discuss how violent video games have spurred this increase in mass shootings and present his evidence. Thereís just one problem. He didnít have any evidence and went on to say that it doesn't. Apparently, he claims he couldnít find a connection between violence in real life and violence in video games.

This is really troubling people, because the more we claim that video games are brainwashing our children the more people research. And the more people investigate the less evidence there is to prove it. And with less and less to prove that weíre not being irrational the more we just look like a bunch of uninformed cocks for saying that violent video games is the problem.

So the obvious thing to do is stop looking into video games while continuing to blame video games. Because the real scary thing about all this folks, the most terrifying takeaway, is that without being able to blame the video games industry for making violent video games with situations like these both parents and the media will lose out on one of their most popular excuses to help shift the blame when a child, maybe even their own, goes on a rampage.

I mean, what are parents supposed to do? Spend time getting to know their kids? Be more involved and notice when theyíre having difficulties in their life and/or homicidal thoughts?

I think I speak for parents everywhere when I say, fuck that!

Please good people here on Destructoid, help put a stop to "facts" and violence in video games and protect excuses before the media stops shining its light on video games and starts looking at the parents.

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