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The secret to Joe Burling's tipping success -REVEALED
Agent Nixon \| 8:57 AM on 07.31.2007	5 comments

Ever wonder why he gets all those tips in so damned fast? The secret to his success is well lubricated pants. You see, every time you go to change your pants (due to spillage of beverage, ripped pants syndrome [aka obesity], or massive fapping), it would take you 5-10 minutes to slap on a new pair.
Well not for Buck Fitches, since he gots them lubricated jeans, he can just hotswap em for a new pair in just under 3 seconds (ladies love that, btw). And in his spare time afterwards, he goes and tips off that Jim Sterling and gets all the glory.
So there you have it. I have nothing else to say.

Oh, and OMG WTF HAXXOR!!!!?!!1/ BUCK FiTCHES is actually an anagram for FUCK BITCHES! call the presseses!!

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5 comments | showing # 1 to 5

tazarthayoot

Burling doesn't wear pants. Ever.

Mxyzptlk

Agreed, pants are for lesser men than Joe Burling.

Altair78

I third that notion.

Altair78

I've even heard my avatar talking about wanting him... my AVATAR!

"Joe Burling... taking 'Free Balling' to so many new levels"

Joe Burling

While it is true that I don't usually wear pants, I've found it much better to go ahead and wear them. The changing of pants takes me less than 30 seconds, but beating off 30 women who are trying to suck my dick all at once can take hours. For the sake of Dtoid tipping, I have begun to wear pants.

However, the pants are lubricated, like you said. And thank you, by the way, for revealing my secret to the internets. I will warn you, though, not all lubricated pants are good. (see example below)

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