Ever wonder why he gets all those tips in so damned fast? The secret to his success is well lubricated pants. You see, every time you go to change your pants (due to spillage of beverage, ripped pants syndrome [aka obesity], or massive fapping), it would take you 5-10 minutes to slap on a new pair.
Well not for Buck Fitches, since he gots them lubricated jeans, he can just hotswap em for a new pair in just under 3 seconds (ladies love that, btw). And in his spare time afterwards, he goes and tips off that Jim Sterling and gets all the glory.
So there you have it. I have nothing else to say.
Oh, and OMG WTF HAXXOR!!!!?!!1/ BUCK FiTCHES is actually an anagram for FUCK BITCHES! call the presseses!!
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"Joe Burling... taking 'Free Balling' to so many new levels"
However, the pants are lubricated, like you said. And thank you, by the way, for revealing my secret to the internets. I will warn you, though, not all lubricated pants are good. (see example below)