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Resident Evil 5 Debate, Now with LULZ™
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain \| 6:02 PM on 08.01.2007	28 comments

Allow me to demonstrate the power of the Race Card against Resident Evil 5.
(Disclaimer: This post contains original research on Yugioh to make this accurate. Chieftain does NOT play Yugioh. LULZ™ is a corruption of LOL™ and is copyright FOX NEWS.)

"I play the Field Card AFRICA and summon my CHRIS REDFIELD!"

"Oh Yugi, you imbecile. I activate my trap, RACE CARD, and destroy your monsters and take all of your Life Points!"

"How did you do that? The RACE CARD only works when there is a RACIST INTENT in play!"

"Silly Yugi, the RACE CARD also allows me to play MASSIVE MEDIA ATTENTION and summon my BLUE-EYES AL SHARPTON!"

"How am I supposed to counter this? BLUE-EYES AL SHARPTON is breathing down my neck, with MASSIVE MEDIA ATTENTION forcing me to make a hasty move! This RACE CARD is unstoppable!"

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27 comments | showing # 1 to 27

Tristero says:
(# 0) on 08/01/2007 18:23

If I were drinking anything while I read this it would have shot through my nose. Excellent.

Riser Glen says:
(# 1) on 08/01/2007 18:26

Resident Evil: Cracker Hunt in a mansion
Resident Evil 2: Cracker Hunt in the city
Resident Evil 3: Cracker Hunt in various locations
Resident Evil CV: Cracker Hunt on an island

xX SolidPliskin Xx says:
(# 2) on 08/01/2007 18:27

lol, beautiful nicely done my friend!

Riser Glen says:
(# 3) on 08/01/2007 18:28

"BLUE-EYES AL SHARPTON"

Ok, I'm SO photoshopping that card.

BenHaskett says:
(# 4) on 08/01/2007 18:29

Very funny. Is someone besides Black Looks going ape-shit over this? I thought it was just that one blog...

@Luzer

That's the spark, my friend. Once this gets on the news, expect an official response from Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson, acting as ambassadors of the Aftrican-American race.

@Riser

FUCKING AWESOME.

Professor Pew says:
(# 6) on 08/01/2007 18:46

BLUE-EYES AL SHARPTON...

I summon my Christian God card: JESUS!

Reeper says:
(# 7) on 08/01/2007 18:47

Fucking Epic.

Riser Glen says:
(# 8) on 08/01/2007 19:00

It's a total rush job, but it'll do for now.

Professor Pew says:
(# 9) on 08/01/2007 19:07

Discards all light-attribute cards from game!

For you, Riser.

garrfunkel says:
(# 12) on 08/01/2007 19:27

Genius sheer Genius.

superhobo says:
(# 13) on 08/01/2007 19:37

That's the funniest thing I've seen on the net in a long while!

blehman says:
(# 14) on 08/01/2007 20:23

What about summoning the kiss Jesse Jacksons ass trap card? Does that even work? Or is it just south park?

kawitchate says:
(# 15) on 08/01/2007 21:01

now THIS post about racism i can get behind - pictures to help me with the text, teh funny, and it's MUCH easier to get through 20-some comments instead of 200-some... oh, and the funny here is epic-er.

savagesaladin says:
(# 16) on 08/01/2007 23:10

Nice blog by the way. Hilarious. Also, Al Sharpton is a jew-hating, racist bitch.

Mxyzptlk says:
(# 17) on 08/01/2007 23:19

This be some win right here.

Tubatic says:
(# 18) on 08/01/2007 23:29

This post delivers

Riser Glen says:
(# 19) on 08/01/2007 23:41

Shit, Agent Chieftain. I was so busy photoshopping shit that I forgot to give you the massive props you deserve for this post.

This post gets 3 out of 3 props.

I already assumed I had your approval when I saw the Blue-Eyes Al Sharpton.

Any chance you can do a Race Card, since they are played as a combo?

Riser Glen says:
(# 21) on 08/02/2007 00:14

I planned on it. I'm a bit tired now and feel like fucking around on dtoid before I go to bed. But expect some new cards you can "play" in future RE5 threads.

That would be quite epic, sir.

Ritalin Twitch says:
(# 23) on 08/02/2007 00:57

I can see an entire racism CCG in the future.

Amethystine says:
(# 24) on 08/02/2007 14:21

I obviously need to get me some JPEGs for my posts. And shorten them. And make them funny. I'm learning from you, Chieftain! Mark my words!

Great post, anyway.

Lowtax says:
(# 25) on 08/11/2007 17:34

AHAHHAAAHAHAHA Agent Chieftain, will you be the Godfather of my dogs firstborn puppies?

Depends what kind of dogs they are, I heard Beagles are delicious.

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