My brother is a medical mystery. Between the ages of 0 and 6, he managed to fracture his skull a total of three (3) times. Last year he had surgery for scoliosis, a condition where the spine bends sideways into an S shape. Just today he was in the hospital for something called "spontaneous pneumothorax". I don't even know what half of those words mean. The point is, though, that doctors need to get their rears in gear and start thinking of ways to prevent the horrible things that can happen to people, instead of acting afterwards. And they can do this by learning from video games.


President Obomber says "More Healthcare Now!"

Video games come in a variety of flavors, but one thing most of them have in common is their great healthcare. The doctors in video games must be amazing. How else could you tell the vitality of someone, their healthiness, how close or far away from death, based off of a single number? Imagine what we could do with such technology in the real world: "Oh dear, I've been hit by a car! I'd better check my health. 67%? Why, I'll be up and running in no time!"

Life would be great. Small children would no longer cry from little scrapes and bruises, because they would notice that it only caused them 1 loss of health. Sick people could tell exactly when they are getting better, or if they're getting worse. Doctors, too, would benefit. They could check the condition of their patients with the push of a button.

Soldiers could see exactly how they're doing, and know when to retreat. In fact, some video games have advanced so much that their residents regenerate their health. Even if you took a sledehammer to the face, rest up for about thirty seconds and you'll be better than ever. Why don't researchers focus more on that, instead of making my cell phone so small that I lose it in my pocket?



Health packs are the other major advancement we need to make in medical technology. Surgery is a messy business, and doctoring is hard work. Instead of training doctors, we should instead be focused on finding a miraculous box-sized cure for everything from sprained ankles to swine flu. "First-Aid" kits would become "Only-Aid" kits, because there would be no need for second aid, ever. Hell, the boxes are automatic - just step on the thing and it does the work for you. Dog feeling ill? Sit it on a medkit! Baby coughing up purple fluid? Just touch a medkit to her forehead, and presto! it's all better.

In fact, we don't need to start with medkits. Baby steps, right? What we could focus on first is finding the secret ingredient that make video game food so damn healthy. I know people are now very conscious about what gets put into their food, but this could save millions of lives. If I got +25 health points every time I ate a piece of chicken, I would never leave KFC.


The first step to a new, healthier world