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     Aertyr's Blog
EPIC NARP 2008 FULL EDITION
 by Aertyr on 03.03.2008      16 comments





Welcome to the Giant Michigan Rape fe.... NARP '08 Blog!

The day started out at around 8:30 when I went to go pick up Calvin for the "Fencing Tournament" we we're going to. As we came back to my house and dropped off our Fencing stuff we cruised around Destructoid giddily awaiting the arrival of Tazar's Death Cab.

No seriously, DEATH CAB.





WE RISKED OUR LIVES TO GET TO THIS PARTY!

... I kid, I kid.

Soon at around 9:50 we were on the road. Everyone but me and Grim had a DS, and what better way to start out a trip then to see who can draw the best penis in picto chat.

I felt like I was watching the end of Superbad all over again. For those who care, Chee won versus Calvin for his hairy penis with an afro.

When they we're done, Chee made a short story about how Dante mailed a letter to Virgil calling him a fag.

Soon we we're all craving food, so we all decided to go to....


Tazar looks like the guy from a Clockwork Orange.

MCDONALDS!

People suddenly grew more and more confused of what the hell we were talking about, and why we all had shirts that declared Also, Cocks to all those around us.


Cheeburga eating himself.


CannibalCalvin waiting to eat small children that come to close.


Can you see the Evil Grim's eyes? I think I just shuddered a little.


Some tool. Seriously, he's friggin' lame.

Soon we were on the road yet again. On the way to Lark's we killed 2 Birds and hit about 4 potholes.

"WHY ARE ALL THE BIRDS IN THIS STATE FUCKING RETARDED" - Tazar

An hour or so later, we stopped at a gas station in BFE. Where Tazar finally realized I'm really tall (He's observant as hell). And Calvin bought a Condom!



We finally arrived at Lark's Giant Trailer. We occupied the Side room (Brawl + Webcams)



and the Main room (Food and Rockband).



We we're soon introduced to a dog named Ninja. At first he was a pretty damn awesome dog....



But soon he turned into...



And when we thought that was bad...

A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!
JAKE THE SNAKE!

Seriously, this kid started out cool.



and then it got worse...



and worse...



until it degraded entirely into an entirely new level of shit...



Suddenly the dog didn't seem so bad.


Chee's impersonation of Jake the Snake.

Nonetheless the night continued on Epicly! The Brawls were fun (as long as it didn't involve Sonic and him using his Smash over and over).

Soon Rock Band was in it's prime. Eventually we got bored of the normal songs and wanted to play some of the DLC so we had to connect the 360 to teh innernetz.

So we matlocked a connection lazy LAN style.





The Next thing I see when I rush back out into the living room is this...



..

..

[pause for effect]

MOVING ON

As the night went on we kept watching more and more random videos we were all fond of including a hell of a lot of youtube poops that sent me into tears laughing.



Then we made a discovery! THE LEGENDARY HELMET OF SPARTA!

It was REALLY friggin tiny so it fit some of us decently...



and some not so well...




YOU AREN'T FUNNY

By the end of the night we we're all exhausted. Even the dog became friendly.



The Casualty's of the night:



And so Lark tucked Calvin in and sent us all to bed, cause he's an admin.
I slept in the Brawl room with Chee and Nihon, and pretty much instantly passed out.

The next day we all started to head back to Midland as lark chased us out



While we were singing terribly to all the bad tunes of 90's we could find on Grim's MP3 Player and stopped at Applebee's, which screwed up Tazar's order the first time.



But then again we all did order Cheeburga's. But he made up for it by loudly telling us all about Vagina's.



Sad dog was sad on the way home that it was all over. But hopefully next year we can rape mor..... play more video games at Larks! [This time without Jake please? Ninja is cool by me now]

Things the NARP taught me:
Michigan is filled with potholes.
It is impossible to get lost if Calvin is present.
Chee is really friggin emo, but it works really well.
Picto chat is for penis's.
Nihon Snores.
Pillows do not muffle snoring(we tried).
CannibalCalvin is gay for Chee.
Lark is awesome.
Larks relatives are all less so.
Jake the Snake should die.
Hwy is pronounced "HEWY".
Tazar is bad at Brawl.
Mystery science theater 3000 puts me to sleep.
Sonic's smash is the stupidest shit ever.
If you hit a kid in the back enough he will calm down.
Chee makes slurping noises when sleeping.
Me and Chee are both really women in disguise.
Larks wife is non-existent.
Nihon doesn't log out of Destructoid.
Kids with long hair are arrogant as hell.
Tazar can sing.
I can't play Drums worth shit.
Mentioning a vagina to a waitress is instant lolz.
"Bird" is a word that inspires instant laughter.

~Aertyr Out

There are 16 comments about this post:
angusm's Destructoid Blog
Cool recap.
Sounds like you guys had fun.
Grim's Destructoid Blog
Lark, your dog was fucking insane in the membrane.
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
Awesome, seems like a great time was had by all. Im telling you, Dtoid NARPS are the most amazing thing EVAR
kaz's Destructoid Blog
You stopped at J&D's Truck Stop? *shudder* At least it was still light out.
Spartacus's Destructoid Blog
Sounds amazing. Fun fact: my cat is named Ninja.
Cheeburga's Destructoid Blog
Woot
NihonTiger90's Destructoid Blog
Lark, your dog was nuts.

And Aertyr, I used to play Magic, just for the record.
Samit Sarkar's Destructoid Blog
tazar’s Dashboard is fucking epic...and it sounds like this NARP was as well!
atheistium's Destructoid Blog
wish i was thar >.<
Takeshi's Destructoid Blog
This NARP was pretty cool. I saw it on Stickam and was bloody well amused. Thanks guys for putting it on Stickam. Thanks guys on Stickam for amusing me.

@atheistium
If you beat up Jake, I'll buy you a ticket.
Aertyr's Destructoid Blog
It was bloody lovely. I can't wait for the next NARP.
tazarthayoot's Destructoid Blog
IT WAS AMAZING OMGAWD!
Snaileb 's Destructoid Blog
Im jealous!!
LarkOhiya's Destructoid Blog
You obviously didn't see my big shoe box of magic cards.
The Incredible Edible Egg's Destructoid Blog
I used to play magic. I have some shit somewhere.
Aertyr's Destructoid Blog
Okay well then, I guess I am just unobservant.

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Yo D-toiders, I am Aertyr (Air - Tier) and if you cannot pronounce it correctly just call me Nick. I'm a competitive gamer that used to be apart of a sponsored team [Rapture Gaming] for DotA (A Warcraft III mod) but I won't kid myself and tell you that I'm l337. I've been gaming since I was 2 on Sega and on the computer since 3. I am a pure blood geek in all ways shapes and forms, from Dungeons & Dragons to Magic: The Gathering to every bloody RPG I can get my hands on. Cya round, I'll try not to suck.

Contact:
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Currently playing:
Gears of War
Final Fantasy 12
Persona 3
Dawn of War: Soulstorm
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DotA:Allstars

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Western Digital 500GB 3.0Gb/s Hard Drive
ABIT IP35 Pro LGA 775 Intel P35 Intel Motherboard
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System's I've owned:
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