We live in a strange world - newfangled consoles have computer brains, controllers vibrate, fatalities are mysteriously absent from my games and who knows how many bastard children the Super Mario Bros. have.

Why don't we take a step back into the 80s when neon was a color that people considered their favorite, when pants were named "parachute."



The arcade is reborn!

Coach the Game would combine all the crazy hijinks from the show. Remember... coach? Why do the people demand such a game? When we're given a different Madden game every year, why not play a football game with no real football, but instead touches on coaching and drinking - I'm almost sure that the show was canceled because everyone was drunk by the second season.

So, why not shuffle your way to the arcade, you lethargic generation, get off the couch and play games in a social environment... which is really anti-social. And then go, "Oh yeah, that show."

Any child of the 80s can plainly see their favorite Turtles or Transforming robots being reborn in a new generation. With a plethora of franchises from my childhood turning into "new-again" franchises, where will the next dart land that will steal my greenbacks?



What better game to carry on the Dance Dance Revolution into the new millennium... into the 80s? Breakin' 2 (notice the absence of the "g" from Breaking, thus proving how street this franchise is) is surprisingly the sequel to Breakin'. But what does this franchise improve upon with a second time around (which you'll probably only be able to play on Beta Max or Blu Ray, nothing in between). How about a subheading Electric Boogaloo and lots more Breakin'? I think we have ourselves a license to print money... well American money, so whatever that's worth now.

Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo will revolutionize the dance craze (such a craze that it's named twice with Dance Dance and some sort of revolution).

It's a fever I say!

Real? Fake? Awesome!

Link

A few friends and myself have an online magazine. Let Me Show You Them. So, big plug!

We just got Rage Against the Machine and we've got a few dozen other bands, including interviews and album reviews.

I'm sure I'm not the only person to groan when they see another Madden incarnation. I'm also not the only person who pokes fun at his friends for buying movie licensed games. Big companies slap together crappy games in a matter of a couple of months and call it a finished product. I'm waiting for another Video Game Crash of 1983. The crash was when the market was saturated with shitty games as far as the eye could see and it all went Chernobyl. Today, it doesn't seem as likely, because big companies have enough money to stay afloat like the stools they are. So, are we doomed to play yet another version of Ratatouie?

Hm...

Just like every drunken monkey who gets his face stabbed in a knife fight, there is hope in the second round.

The news of David Jaffe starting an independent game company with Scott Campbell is a sign that the industry isn't lost. Eat, Sleep, Play is the best news I've heard since Ex-Clover studio members were starting Seeds. Remember Scott Campbell? Of course you don't. You lie! Think Twisted Metal.

Remember Psychonauts? Tim Schaefer started his company Double Fine after he left Lucas Arts. We got a good game out of that whole thing.

What we need is a big crash in the gaming industry, that way all the intelligent game designers don't have to work on another incarnation of Madden or something like that. Nothing too big, just enough to wake everyone up. Am I being too negative? Maybe. Or maybe you're not being negative enough!

Ever since me and my cousin would play Contra at our grandmother's house, we would imagine what it would be like "in real life." When we would be driving down the street, I would yell "Fireball!" and we'd throw ourselves into a pile of leaves to take cover. Were we strange kids? Yes. Did we fantasize about shooting terrorist/aliens when we played Streets of Rage? I'm just happy to see some new co-op games that are a throwback to the "RAD" times of the 80s.


It's not gay if you're wearing a headband.

It's not gay if you're wearing a skull mask.