AbsoluteZero's Profile - destructoid
Site Beta in Progress Plz pardon our dust   |   Feedback

Note: We're improving our cblogs tech / sorry / this page will be updated again shortly. - Staff

AbsoluteZero's blog

Member since: 2007-12-17 12:44:00
AbsoluteZero's blogs   
  • Promoted Blogs       |    RSS

      From our Community Blogs


    But at least MSN released the new release date of the weekend of September 7th. Look not to sound like a bitch. But god damn. I want it. I want it now. And I don't care if they polish it to the point of perfection. I just want to create my own civilization from primordial goo! Ugh.




    So Kim Swift the project leader for the origonal Portal has mentioned to MTV about a Multi-player mode for Portal(2) I'm wondering if this will be an expansion via Blueshift/TFC. Even so I don't understand the way in which you could have a working multi-player experience with Portal. Unless you include weapons, which I for one think would be lame. I liked the fact that all you had was your portal gun and your wits to survive in the android hell. And the idea of creating a portal and then trying to chase an enemy with another portal gun frankly warps my little brain. I mean I was bothered enough by chasing myself through the same room forever. But to perhaps have an enemy cover your exit portal with another enter portal...what the hell? Would you eternally enter the portal but not exit until a new exit portal was made somewhere else? ew. I need more coffee now.


    I picked up the game about two days ago with my Blockbuster Game Pass and I'm guessing I'm roughly at the end of the game by now. So far I had a pretty good time. I mean it's not earth shattering like the first time I played Earthworm Jim, or as satisfying as beating Battletoads. But for what it is, I thought it was a good time. Kind of like having a beer with your co-workers after a hard day sort of good time. Sure the controls were a little iffy, the level design was a little aggravating, and the characters were so filled with testosterone their semen would have the potency to get a desk lamp pregnant. But the game play was there. I dunno, I just don't see why everyone hates this game so much.


    I was kicking around this idea today as I was making a demi-glaze from scratch.

    There are games that were never made but should have been.

    1. Groundhog Day



    The idea of replaying the same day over and over making different choices in a sandbox setting is awesome. I mean if only I could pick up a shotgun and go blasting the Ned Ryerson character in the face would make me a very happy person.

    2. The "Madden Curse" game.



    C'mon how cool would it be. To be the evil force behind the Madden curse. You could damage and destroy pro-athletes using environmental kills, psychological attacks, or through bad karma.

    3. Super Christian, Happy, Stimulating, socially acceptable game.

    It's kind of like Grand Theft Auto. Except you don't steal anything, kill hookers, or anything else for that matter. You work a 9 to 5 job. You get a house. Then get married. And have children. Then get a second mortgage. So pretty much it's like the Sims. Except you can't be gay. Or own a robot.

    4. Rock Band : Reunion

    Just like rock band, except it's been years since you played together and one of your members died tragically so you have to settle for some douche bag. And instead of having a meter to gauge how well you're doing you get one to gauge your animosity toward one another. And if it peaks you have to pound furiously on your instruments as your lawyers discuss licensing rights to your songs.

    5. Call of Duty 5: Brother Against Brother

    Only problem. Noobs will claim lag whenever they have a muzzle loading musket.


    So I had a good day Monday. I went up to Ft. Collins, Colorado to go have a few drinks with friends, went on the Odells Brewery tour. Went out to a Buddhist temple and talked to some monks. Then on the way home there was a radio contest where if you heard a Van Halen song and you were the 9th caller you won something. Well my wife told me to call and I begrudgingly called. Well I won. The prize. I get to play Guitar Hero at the Kilo studios with Van Halen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No joke guys. I seriously am losing sleep because I'm so excited. I am bound to take 140489 pictures and post them to my myspace!


    This might be old news to some people but I'm bothered by the idea that they've even considered the elder scrolls next story in the series to be an MMO. MMO's are a cop out for storyline. The quests boil down to trek, hack, farm, and return missions. And you never feel like "THE GUY". In all the other Elder Scrolls games you are "THE GUY" the world revolves around your decisions. Pleeeease don't let it end that way Bethesda.





  • Back to Top