SEXCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS: Mxyzptlk (birthday interview). Also, Summa!

A mysterious stranger interviewed me for my birthday! Since he's too hot for Destructoid, he asked me to pass this along. How could I say no?


Mxyzptlk is a hardcore football fan who has to chase of the lady's


Jack

hey

dude

its your birthday
11:26pmAaron

Word sir!
11:26pmJack

Can I do a interview with you
11:26pmAaron

I have already shook my booty. Sure then, when?
11:26pmJack

just quickly

like right now
11:27pmAaron

Certainly sir.
11:27pmJack

Okay so what was your first video game console
11:27pmAaron

The NES, which I received for Xmas in 88.
11:28pmJack

how old are you
11:28pmAaron

30 as of yesterday.
11:28pmJack

oooh a little bit too old to be on my facebook


11:29pmAaron

Chris Hansen is going to want me to have a seat right over there I'm certain.
11:29pmJack

Okay good at least you know the drill

growing up what was your most pleasent experince on the internet
11:31pmAaron

Probably the huge response I received for one of my first websites, which ended up getting me a cool link on Yahoo! (back when it still mattered), and interview with Salon.com, and the threat of a lawsuit from Hallmark.

That simultaneously was also one of my least pleasant experiences.
11:32pmJack

Sounds neat I was banned from destructoid kotaku xbox360fanboy joystiq game faqs .
11:33pmAaron

You're on a roll sir!
11:33pmJack

Oh well I havent encountered a lawsuit yet and I hope i never do

now

That your 30 are you going to start a family
11:34pmAaron

Yeah, they're not to fun. Even just the call from a lawyer is enough to ruin your week.
11:34pmJack

ooh

Can you rape a hooker?

is it possible
11:36pmAaron

The judge seemed to think so, but luckily I got off on a technicality.
11:36pmJack

Okay thats good

Now what is your favorite ps2 game
11:37pmAaron

Hmmm... I'm going to go with either Katamari Damacy or The Warriors.
11:38pmJack

okay want to place bets on how long Ill last on destructoid with out geting banned because I still think they hate me
11:39pmAaron

Probably whenever Hamza wakes up tomorrow and puts two and two together.
11:39pmJack

That seems about right, You know I was framed for the crimes I apparently did
11:40pmJack

just telling you i was framed
11:40pmAaron

Some day you'll be vindicated in an Oscar-award winning feature film, just like The Hurricane.
11:40pmJack

Thank you

Now I wish you sir a good night and happy birthday a
11:41pmAaron

Thanks! Talk to you later sir!

BONUS: An Interview with Robert Summa

# Clear Chat History
# Couldn't retrieve chat history
# 7: 43pmJack
# okay
# Can i interview you right
# 7: 44pmRobert
# you don't have aim?
# 7: 44pmJack
# Nope
# Or gmail like gmail is good for that
# 7: 44pmRobert
# just do it now
# 7: 44pmJack
# okay
# 7: 44pmRobert
# we just had an earthquake
# btw
# 7: 45pmJack
# Okay Cool so what kind of expernice do you have in your field that I should know of
# 7: 45pmRobert
# none
# define "field"
# 7: 45pmJack
# Gaming
# 7: 45pmRobert
# what's that?
# 7: 45pmJack
# the field your in
# you were in EG
# 7: 46pmRobert
# like scrabble?
# what's EG?
# 7: 46pmJack
# no video games
# 7: 46pmRobert
# they still make those?
# i remember playing donkey king once
# that's the name, right?
# 7: 46pmJack
# Yes now
# Yes
# 7: 46pmRobert
# ok
# yes
# i played donkey king
# therefore i am qualified
# 7: 46pmJack
# what was your experince
# 7: 46pmRobert
# for anything
# i just told you
# pay attention
# 7: 46pmJack
# I am proffesional
# 7: 47pmRobert
# i know
# 7: 47pmJack
# Okay so Have you ever shot heroin?
# 7: 47pmRobert
# not yet
# but i'm still young
# 7: 47pmJack
# okay now I am developing a XNA game and what would you like to see in a XNA game
# 7: 47pmRobert
# hmmm
# well
# i have this game idea
# you can take it if you want
# ready?
# 7: 48pmJack
# okay sounds good
# 7: 48pmRobert
# there is this fat guy
# he's ... hmmm ... let's say italian
# like some awful stereotype
# 7: 48pmJack
# yes
# 7: 48pmRobert
# and he's got a job
# well, he's a plumber to be exact
# and he gets teleported to this strange world
# with like huge pipes and walking animals
# and there's this girl
# i don't know
# 7: 49pmJack
# okay
# 7: 49pmRobert
# i haven't fully fleshed it out yet
# it's just an idea I've had
# i'm sure it'll make an awesome game for the kids
# 7: 49pmJack
# my game has a bunch of robots shooting
# Goatse at each other
# 7: 49pmRobert
# already been done
# 7: 49pmJack
# Really
# 7: 49pmRobert
# yes
# 7: 50pmJack
# okay
# What about a rpg about goatse
# 7: 51pmRobert
# why would you want to rpg a goat?
# 7: 51pmJack
# no goatse the guy with his asshole in the ring
# I mean
# 7: 51pmRobert
# goat?
# 7: 51pmJack
# okay lets stop trolling each other this isnt working
# 7: 51pmRobert
# but there's a goat involved, right
# 7: 51pmJack
# Now serious interview
# 7: 51pmRobert
# serial
# let's get serial
# 7: 51pmJack
# yes
# 7: 52pmRobert
# i've got a raging clue
# what is this interview for? the BBC?
# 7: 52pmJack
# No okay look What are your thoughts on the cod franchise
# 7: 52pmRobert
# i don't like fish
# 7: 52pmJack
# no sexclusive interviews
# 7: 52pmRobert
# except sushi
# 7: 52pmJack
# call of duty
# 7: 52pmRobert
# awesome
# always liked it
# 7: 53pmJack
# Are you excited about call of duty 5 have you played it yet or heard anything
# 7: 53pmRobert
# yes, i played it, beat it, etc
# 7: 53pmJack
# what is in it
# 7: 53pmRobert
# zelda
# shooting robots
# you know
# same old
# 7: 54pmJack
# Does nextlust still exist
# 7: 54pmRobert
# who?
# never heard of him
# 7: 54pmJack
# no nextlust
# 7: 54pmRobert
# you type slow, huh
# 7: 54pmJack
# the site you were on
# 7: 55pmRobert
# i have no idea
# google it
# 7: 55pmJack
# now when you
# 7: 55pmRobert
# english
# 7: 55pmJack
# left destructoid and failed at other things
# 7: 55pmRobert
# failed at life, to be specific
# 7: 55pmJack
# so you left destructoid and your life you failed
# 7: 55pmRobert
# yes
# 7: 55pmJack
# yes so what do you do now
# 7: 55pmRobert
# it absolutely ruined everything
# i'm homeless
# my life will never be the same
# 7: 55pmJack
# Would you like to do a shout out this is old news like 2 years ago but still
# 7: 56pmRobert
# shout out to who?
# dtoid?
# 7: 56pmJack
# yes
# like any users or anythinhg
# 7: 56pmRobert
# yo dtoid, where my dawgs at? woof woof!
# is that what you had in mind?
# 7: 56pmJack
# you wouldnt know who i was because Im not a popular user but still
# 7: 56pmRobert
# that's what a shout out is, right
# 7: 56pmJack
# No a good one
# 7: 56pmRobert
# that was a good one
# i can't do any better
# get your fat fingers to type faster
# 7: 57pmJack
# Have you ever twisted your arm so much it went limp then went and filmed a scat film
# 7: 57pmRobert
# hmmm
# good question
# can i get back to you on that one?
# 7: 58pmJack
# Yes
# 7: 58pmRobert
# is that something you do often?
# 7: 58pmJack
# No. because Im not fucking retarded
# 7: 58pmRobert
# right
# i didn't think you were
# is this the best sexclusive ever?
# 7: 58pmJack
# Okay that wraps up our interview Im happy to have had robert summa on it he is a nice man.
# 7: 58pmRobert
# awww
# i was having fun
# 7: 58pmJack
# Thank you rob for the intresting Interview
# 7: 58pmRobert
# thank you jack
# the pleasure was all mine
# 7: 59pmJack
# Well have another one soon
# 7: 59pmRobert
# awesome
# you rock
# 7: 59pmJack
# thank yo
# you
# 7: 59pmRobert
# anytime


Thank you very much for this opportunity for me to Be with the community I just want to let you guys know This is the best community ever.
http://7sevens.tumblr.com/ <-- go there for more me.
Untill then Guys "dont believe in yourself but believe in the me that believes in you"


Sappy weeaboo ending


Good bye.