So I hear there have been some INCREDIBLE SHENANIGANS going on around these parts as of late.
Please be aware that I have been ignoring them with UNEXPECTED SUCCESS. I've been so successful in
ignoring it all, actually, that I didn't even know any of this shit was going on until just this evening! You might
say that I am out of the loop. But if you said that, I'd be forced to beat you to death.

Lots of things have changed since I used to check the site every ten minutes, because it was my job to do so.
Chief among them: Jim Sterling is no longer a snugglebear. Oh no. He is a now classified as a
SNUGGLENAUT in the classical taxonomy. Consult the nearest biologist for local confirmation!

Also, you guys use the forums a lot more than you used to. Back in my day, the forums were the place where
you posted pictures of CTZ passed out the dark corner of a bar, awash in his own (we pray, anyway) vomit.
But now it's used for talking. How 'bout that?

Anyway, some of you have said things in these forums regarding my return to feature-writing. I assure you
that when I think of an idea that isn't completely without value, I will belch it upon you all, provided that the
whip-cracking nazis what run this joint are cool with me publishing stuff every now and then. That being said,
I have a VERY IMPORTANT addendum to this statement:

Some of you are laboring under the impression that my association with Destructoid is vested entirely in the
warm embrace of Nick Chester I mean Podtoid. But did you know that I used to write on this very site? It's
true! Why, the one year anniversary of my departure--celebrated by the remaining Destructoid staff with a
wine and cheese tasting/Roman orgy--was just a month ago. Nope, it's not all boners and Ocarina-hating.
There's a body of work in my dark and
mysterious past, as well.

Listen up, cretins! The Hori Fighter Stick 3 for the PS3 is now just $29.99 at GameStop, if you can manage to find one. Turns out there were two up here -- not many fighter/shmup fans, I guess? Anyway, it's fucking awesome, and pay no mind to the bullshit on the website or the sticker on the box -- the stick is compatible with legacy PlayStation titles, which means you can rock PSX Tekken 3 or PS2 Street Fighter Anniversary Collection with no problems whatsoever.

And CHRIST, it's amazing quality. That's Hori for you -- a solid piece of hardware. I dunno if the Hori Xbox 360 VF stick is similarly marked down, but that's next on my list -- an absolute must for Xbox Live Arcade.

Hori is the greatest company ever. For serious.

Hey, kittens. Quick word is all, then we can get back to business as usual.

I've decided to step down as reviews editor at Destructoid, and I've done so for a couple of reasons. As some of you have already noticed, I've been doing daily newsin' over at Shacknews since the beginning of the year, and I'm quite fond of the gig. It pays my bills and, despite being wildly different than Destructoid, makes for a pretty fun job. My accepting the position was predicated on my ability to remain at Destructoid as reviews editor, because this is my first home and I wanted to keep active on the site that put me on the fucking map.

I thought I could balance working at two sites, but I may have overestimated by a smidge. As a result, my ability to manage reviews at Destructoid have suffered a bit -- nothing catastrophic, but my turnaround time on editing reviews, creating schedules and contacting companies for content has slowed a bit, and that just simply isn't good enough -- the staff, the readers, and everything Destructoid deserves better.

So I've passed along my responsibilities and I've done my best to ensure the transition will be a smooth and seamless one. The process began more than a week ago, and as you may have already observed, reviews are still intact and moving along even better than they had been. I trust it'll only get better from here.

I'll be around as a contributor, posting the occasional odd review or feature here and there and making my regularly scheduled weekly appearances on Podtoid, so don't start thinking that this is the last you'll see of me, bitches. Besides, who else is going to talk about jizz on that goddamn show? Nobody, that's who.

I wanted to thank all of you guys for supporting me during my time here. I signed on with Niero and co. way back in October of 2006, having sent a collection of writing samples to the boss on a whim during a miserable day at my old job, an assistant at a real estate company. But now I pay the bills with games journalism, and I owe all of that to Destructoid -- its editors, its creators, and most importantly, its readers.

Wherever I go and whatever job I take up, no matter what happens to me after now, it all started right here, a site and a community that was built by thousands upon thousands of hands. It's something we all did together. It'll always be my home. Thanks again for everything.

I'll expect my check in the mail, Nintendo.

Over here. Wooooooooooooooo

Hooray for meeee