In all seriousness, it's a livestream marathon with a cause. Our team of Long Island (pronounced "lawn-GUY-lund") gamers will complete a nonstop playthrough of Pokémon Ruby for Child's Play. Child's Play is a charity that donates toys and games to kids in hospitals; I can tell you, from harsh personal experience, that the worst thing to be in a hospital is bored.
At this point, you're well aware why I'm writing this. Don't think I'm some scummy, spammy ad dog, though. I am convinced that our Magmathon is essential for your holiday amusement. Here's why:
1. Game marathons are literally the best thing. Know why Mario Marathon is so popular? Because the only thing more fun than playing a game is watching four dudes laugh and joke and hold existential discourse while failing miserably at it. Have friends? Watch with them. No friends? No problem. We're you're friends now, and we'll chat with you and treat you right and hang out for hours.
2. Donating will make you feel good about yourself. Ever dug a well in Africa? Distributed food in the slums of L.A.? No? A donation to Child's Play through Magmathon may relieve that twinge of guilt you feel for depleting your first-world income surplus on Steam keys and PS Plus subscriptions. Already a veteran philanthropist? Keep your streak alive. Non-donors are more than welcome, too, but wouldn't you like to be a real-world hero? Can you spare a dime, Brother(or Sister)?
3. It's Pokémon. I don't think I even have to explain this. Mario Marathon's great, sure, but it's sure as hell lacking your required dose of cute yellow mouse. Where else can you get that kind of entertainment for three straight days? Other marathons have done Pokémon, you say? Well, have they done it between July 5th and 7th, 2013? Didn't think so. We've got a monopoly on that.
If you were paying attention, you should have already—instinctively—typed in the URL from the above image that offers you so much good goodness for a good cause. If you didn't notice, it's magmathon.com. Here it is again. One more time. What are you still doing here.