I’ve been in my relationship with my girlfriend for nearly a decade now, I had always been a gamer since the days of Duck Hunt on the NES (and to some extent before that). My lady on the other hand, only came into the gaming scene properly very recently. We went through a bad patch a while back and for a very rocky and unsure year our lives ran on completely different wavelengths. I say a bad patch because we almost lost it and went our separate ways. While we were leading essentially different lives in very different countries I would play games in my spare time (usually console based stuff, but also things like World of Warcraft and so on) and she would do a more face-to-face social thing with her friends.

I don’t want to make myself out to be an anti-social artard who would rather spend his time in immersive and elaborately created game worlds rather than have close quarters contact with real and tangible social circles (well….I kind of am…but that isn’t the point). But because of the fact that I was living in a country native to my mother tongue there was more emphasis on communication within the domain of instant messages and team speak servers. The communication I did manage to have with my girlfriend during this dark period involved a substantial amount of arguments and somehow my absence was attributed to gaming. It wasn’t rational, but hey, anything attached to that thing they call love rarely is (that’s why they call it love, I guess). It essentially boiled down to her vilifying gaming in general and seeing it as the sole cause of my lack of presence and attentiveness. Of course the fact that I was working in a great job in another country didn’t factor into it. Now you are probably wondering why I am giving you all this back-story. I promise, it is relevant for what is to come.

Still with me? Good.

Now let’s fast forward to last night, the present or whatever you want to call it. I’m in a different country now, one which speaks the same language. I’m sitting on a big leather sofa in front of a stupidly big television next to my girlfriend. In front of me are a set of Rock Band drums, in her hands is a Rock Band guitar and she appears to be grinning excitedly. We have just finished playing ‘Learning to Fly’ by the Foo Fighters.
This is the moment, the one point in time that inspired me to write this. Partly because it marked a significant shift in her attitude towards the big bad gaming machine that temporarily fractured our relationship, but also due to the fact that it highlights a common issue for male gamers out there. The issue of how to get your significant other interested in gaming. I hit more of a hurdle than the average guy trying to get his girl involved in something he is passionate about because of the relationship issues I mentioned. I had to overcome a psychological barrier as well as a physical inertia to get her to even pick a joypad of some kind up. The first step you need to take here is a VERY important one, screw up once and you will get burned:

Choose the right game

The female brain works differently to ours. To quote Ron Burgundy “It’s science”. To go one step further, the female brain in the majority of cases works 10 times better than ours (although that might be generational too, I am still getting calls from my mum to explain how to use the TV remote). They are naturally adept at multi-tasking, problem solving and strategising. This stems from an evolutionary thread where the female would remain behind, protecting the young and utilising traits such as multi-organisation, cunning, spatial awareness and resourcefulness. The males on the other hand were incredibly simple by all accounts. We still are to be brutally honest. (I still can’t dial a phone number from my mobile while simultaneously walking down the street. I also phase out of my immediate surroundings when I am eating lasagne).

So what does this have to do with choosing the right game?

If your girlfriend has never really and truly sat down and played a game properly then they aren’t going to have any interest or urge to be sucked into the mutant ridden - dystopian USA depicted in Fallout 3. Maybe somewhere down the line this might be an option, but for now you need something easy and non-threatening to pick up. Essentially something that she can relate to and which taps into the way her brain works. Below you will find some games which are great starters for her to get involved in what you do best.

Rock Band/Rock Band 2 (PS2, PS3 XBOX360)

The hardest part to get past is the price tag. This marks its spot as one of the most expensive gaming pursuits before buying an actual gaming console or PC upgrade. It is in my opinion one of the most overpriced as well, requiring you to hand over a wad of cash for what is essentially a load of plastic. Ironically it is also one of the most fun and fulfilling experiences I have ever had.

It also taps in to a sure-fire way of easing your lady into gaming gently. If you are willing to hand over the Dollars, Euros or Great British Pounds for a couple of instruments and the game then you will get a fulfilling experience that is above all awesome fun. She will no longer see you sitting there, focused out on blowing the shit out of a convoy in Liberty City, she will be sitting next to you, taking part in the same thing and making sweet (albeit synthesized) music together. It also provides a sense of accomplishment and the following of a common goal together. In short, rather than you sitting on your ass, gradually turning into a potato, You will be spending time with her and gaming at the same time. Miraculous!

The Dr Kawashima series (Nintendo DS)

One of the two DS entries I will mention here. Kawashima has struck gold by bringing his puzzles to the DS platform. Even Captain Jean-Luc Picard endorses his games. Brain Training and the other incarnations are the titles I will focus on. Essentially a giant digital puzzle book containing everything from Sudoku to logic puzzles it is gaming candy to a girl.

Professor Layton and the Curious Village (Nintendo DS)

This combines two of the most significant aspects of gaming that are appealing to the fairer sex. You have a Sherlock Holmes style crime story intertwined with a vast array of solvable puzzles created by one of the most renowned puzzle authors in Japan. Most girls love a good mystery and to combine it with a series of brain training style puzzles is actually quite genius. Combine that with the fact that Nintendo is one of the most universally appealing gaming companies in history you have the perfect marriage of game to platform.