The hammer came down from Elizabeth Tobey on the official Bioshock community site: No multiplayer for Bioshock. Unfortunately, the message was not a frank "we ran out of money" or "time issues." Instead, the lack of multiplayer was pegged as some artistic crime against gamers. Dance, online marketer, dance!

"BioShock features a compelling storyline that revolves around the experiences of one man as he enters the decaying world of Rapture," reads the explanation. "Having a multiplayer component would have compromised the story we were trying to tell so we made the decision to keep this game as a single player experience."

"Compromised," she says. How compromising is adding a multiplayer secondary mode to the game that has nothing to do with the story mode? This is not revolutionary thinking -- it's common sense and common industry practice. I can name a dozen modern games that do this. Open up some level maps where we shoot at each other and put some servers up. Bioshock has cool guns and great maps, why not? (sigh) We expect this to be a standard feature in our shooters because FPS single player campagins are typically just too short.

If the feature can't be in there; fine, we can deal. Just don't say it like you're doing us a favor. She's just reporting somebody else's bad decision, but can you imagine being married to people that talk like this?

"I'd love to offer captivating marital experiences for you, honey, but performing multiple chores today for the kids have been far too rewarding. Having your penis inside of me tonight as your wife would compromise the mom experience."

No honey, they're not related. Try again.

[Via Shacknews]