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Bionic Commando patch is up, makes PS3 owners girlie men photo

Yesterday it appears that a patch was released for Bionic Commando: Rearmed over PSN. The update is a bit of a mixed bag, unless you're a total wuss and can't beat the game as it is. See it does allow for Trophy support, which is good. However, along with the Trophy support comes some changes to the games basic gameplay. Players now have unlimited lives (no starting levels over from the beginning), can swing into walls without falling to their untimely deaths and can reel out their line if it is too short. These features make the game immensely easier, betraying its old school roots.

Thankfully the update only tweaks the easy and normal levels, but that doesn't really excuse it. Who was out there complaining that BC: Rearmed was too hard, especially on easy and normal? Nancy-pants girlie men that's who. For now 360 owners can walk around claiming they have bigger nerd balls as the update does not appear to have landed on LIVE yet. PS3 owners, your cred is in question until the 360 wusses out too or Demon's Souls lands.


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41 comments | showing # 1 to 41

Takeshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 15:06
Takeshi
Yup, that would be me. I'm not even gonna hide it. I'm one of those wussies that thought it was hard. But I wasn't complaining nor did I demand a pussy patch. I just suck at old school games.
Artemus's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 15:29
Artemus
Finally! I was waiting for this patch for days! Although I didn't expect the patch to decrease the difficulty... Lame. Thought it was mainly to kill that nasty bug that erased data and introduce trophy time.
With the patch, the game just doesn't teach discipline or reward anymore. You can miss important jumps now without fear of failure. That's no fun. Guess it's a good thing, if you're one of them fancy lads who can't handle a challenge. Well, I'm gonna have to try it on the hard setting now...
And for the record, the new Bionic Commando is not as bad as its recent reputation, in fact I'm enjoying it! It does have its faults, but I'm still having a lot of fun!
Wozamil's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 15:32
Wozamil
I admit, I quit before finishing the game because I thought it was to frustrating.
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 15:36
Dexter345
This really doesn't make it that much easier. Infinite lives sounds like it would make it way easier, but given the sparse checkpoints, you still have to be able to get through the levels without dying.

At any rate, if somebody needed help getting through Easy and Normal, then they are girly men, but I don't think this would help much.
Shadowiii's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 15:49
Shadowiii
I can't beat level...6? The one at the docks that starts with a missile block? The fact that the checkpoint is so far in murders me.
Let's get this update for 360 so I can finally beat the damn game. I loved it, but I'm seriously just not good enough to beat it. :/
Harris Hatsworth's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 15:57
Harris Hatsworth
ZOMGABBLEARGH! Sony's just corrupting gaming by appealing to casuals (or as I prefer to call them "inferior life forms") by doing anything at all to lower difficulty. Anyone who still plays on anything lower than "Ultra Suicide Expert" isn't a real gamer.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 16:01
Kyousuke Nanbu
There's a reason why these mechanics are considered old school, its because they are archaic game design that need to stay in the past.

I'm all for a good challenge but I hate arbitrary difficulty, make it hard and test my skills but don't make it hard and test my patience, thats the biggest thing developers keep getting wrong, make your challenge balanced and fun.
CRAZYAPE69's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 16:01
CRAZYAPE69
wtf? I know it's hard but thats the whole fun of the game, you get a sense of acomplishment that you wouldn't get if the game just held your hand all the way through.
koehler83's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 16:14
koehler83
Hard Mode remains unchanged.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 16:15
Sharpless
No, these updates make the game reasonable for normal people.

Psh, you retro-fags, I swear... <3
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 16:19
Professor Pew
Sounds like a good update, even though I bet it won't make the game any less crap!
Squishy3's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 16:23
Squishy3
@Kyousuke Nanbu: They are anything but archaic. They control just as well as any of the control schemes in the highest selling properties. By the end of the game I was good enough to where I didn't die at all. The same thing happened with Bionic Commando Rearmed. I sucked at the beginning of it. By the end of it I barely died at all. Same goes for Megaman 9. The reason why people complain they're archaic is because they're too used to the easy difficulty of games nowadays. Yes, there is hard mode and vetteran mode, whatever the game calls it. But how about instead of making the enemies kill you in one hit, you make it harder, not "Oh look, you got hit by a bullet. You're dead." Make the enemy AI more advanced. Make them flank you. Make you actually have to adapt to the way they adapt to you. And then you feel good about yourself when you finally overcome that obstacle. When I finally beat Megaman 9, I was extremely pleased with myself. Same goes for Bionic Commando and Rearmed. This stuff is by no means archaic. Man up, soldier.
phosphor112's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 17:02
phosphor112
Too bad I already beat the damn game on hard >=/.

I won't be playing it again with this update either.
Solid Squirrel's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 17:12
Solid Squirrel
I beat the game, but mostly because I'm a hardcore old-school BC player, so a lot of what was going on was old hat to me as I played. But when I turned that game up to the next level of difficulty with the one-hit death, even I found that just flat-out impossible. Now with this update it'll make it just a tad more forgiving and I can get past level 1. I have to--otherwise all my acquired gear will be lost if I have to start a new game.
Johnny Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 17:22
Johnny Justice
Great, so now if you want a challenge you have to play hard, which is too hard?
Infininja's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 17:27
Infininja
I'm still working on clearing super hard and all the challenge rooms (on 360). :\
BlackFreefall's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 17:53
BlackFreefall
DEMON SOUL SHALL REDEEM US ALL.
Demiath's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 17:53
Demiath
The game is wonderful but definitely too hard for me; especially considering that it's a PSN/XBLA title. A downloadable game should be something like Castle Crashers, Superstar HD or Shatter; a quick gaming fix to be enjoyed while you're, say, waiting for your favorite TV show to start or something. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but if I want something which requires a genuine commitment on my part I buy a full-fledged, big budget $60 game in a box...

By the way, I own Demon's Souls as well and that game is a lot less relentlessly skill-based than Bionic Commando (but then again that's what you would expect from a stats-heavy RPG compared with a remake of an 8-bit platformer).
Hoss's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 17:55
Hoss
it did take me a bit to beat on normal

but i did it!

now to get back to it for the trophy support
10BobMarleys's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 18:42
10BobMarleys
I beat this game on normal, only the last few stages were hard. I also beat the original though.... SUCK IT UP, PUSSIES!
CrudeDarkness's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 18:44
CrudeDarkness
Apart from the last level. everything else wasn't that hard.
Artemus's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 18:57
Artemus
@CrudeDarkness
I agree. That last level was a bit of a bitch! But I got through it(only a few months back), just had to stock up on lives and practice, practice, practice.
Can't believe this patch gives unlimited lives. I believe Capcom is doing this so more people give Bionic Commando a chance it deserves.
I'm enjoying the new Bionic Commando very much and now fear the license to be dead and buried, from the lackluster reviews the game has been beaten with.
We'll see...

Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 19:27
Daxelman
I don't like Bionic Commando.

Soooo....yeah.
10BobMarleys's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 19:38
10BobMarleys
@ Daxelman: Nobody cares. Why did you even post that? You've added ntohing.
Krow's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 19:53
Krow
@10BobMarleys

Yay! You beat the game, pussies, etc.

Nobody cares. Why did you even post that? You've added ntohing.
10BobMarleys's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 20:10
10BobMarleys
@ Krow: Is Daxel your BF or something? People who drop in just to say they don't care annoy me. Why even read the story if you don't like the game?
Back in your box, please.
Black Nexus's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 20:36
Black Nexus
don't worry demon souls will kick us in the nuts so hard they'll blast out of our ears , then our honour shall be redeemed.
Dr Milkdad's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 21:25
Dr Milkdad
I beat the game on Normal, and it was satisfying when I finished it. Last level was a bitch but I got through it.

If this there is no way to turn off the noob mode on Normal difficulty, then this is just fucking stupid and I hope they don't ruin the 360 version.
parrothead's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 21:50
parrothead
I almost beat it on Normal, but I did find it very hard. So I need to pick up this patch
Gten's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/26/2009 23:23
Gten
oh come on ,,, is this serious ?

i played bionic commando when i was 11 and took me weeks to beat, Rearmed took me 4 days to beat on Normal and most of u cannot even beat it..

srsly is this community formed of ppl from the 90's and Casual Gamers only ?
rsquad's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 00:12
rsquad
Pathetic.

I beat this game umpteen times when I was a kid, with that terrible NES controller. Still one of my favorites of all time though (the original) and Rearmed is a damn good remake.
Chronic Logic's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 00:29
Chronic Logic
They need an easy mode unlock if you die too many times like in Ninja Gaiden.
protomark's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 00:51
protomark
unlimited lives = good.

the rest = WHY
akumaserge's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 01:50
akumaserge
...What? I didn't even find the game that hard to begin with.
moreno's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 02:36
moreno
never played the original.. at first i hated rearmed.. but then i loved it and beat it. very satisfying ending. also the music is awesome.
smang's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 05:46
smang
damn, myself and a friend got right up to the last level without the pussy patch!

we still haven't done it yet though, and now we won even have an excuse :S
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 07:40
Professor Pew
Oh oops, I read over the "Rearmed" bit and thought it was about the other one.
AllHailShake's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 09:20
AllHailShake
I'm amazed that there are people who played the game that never got to see the awesome money shot at the end. That made the whole game for me.

In general I think it's a bad idea to apologize for the difficulty of your game, at least where the player is concerned. We need hard games to remind the younger generation that we can school them where it counts.
ChaosTeaCup's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 10:01
ChaosTeaCup
I finished this game on 'hard' without even playing it, man.
Vanilla Gorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 15:17
Vanilla Gorilla
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

I JUST picked it up again over the weekend to play it, and downloaded the patch.

We need fucking patch notes before accepting to download a patch. PissT! I didn't want this shit... I liked the game being hard.
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/27/2009 15:31
Naim Master
Well , at least it has trophies ...
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