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If you're as cool and hip as myself, you'll doubtless be aware of Bibleman, the classic collection of DVDs about a God-fearing superhero who fights for justice using the power of religion. The wearer of the full armor of God is a sight to behold -- greater than your stupid Spider-Man with his stupid mask that makes him look like stupid Zool because he is a big stupidheaded stupid. Does HE have our Creator and Father on his side? No, radioactive arachnid mutant photographers are not men of God.

Bibleman, however, is a true American hero and after years of my silently praying, I will finally be able to harness the power of THE LAWD in videogame form. With cutting edge graphics and gameplay mechanics, Bibleman: A Fight For Faith is going to be the most important videogame of the century. It's the ONLY videogame since Bible Adventures that comes Jesus-approved! 

Religion is so cool.


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88 comments | showing # 51 to 88

topgeargorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 00:16
topgeargorilla
Did anybody play that Christian FPS where you can play an angel or a demon, which had a warning.

Or the christian FPS for the SNES where you played as noah?

Or the Bible games game for the NES?

I seriously had too much good times collecting a tower of animals for the Noah game.

sweet.
iamgod's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 00:36
iamgod
...wtf. honestly wtf.

but then again its nice to know programmers from 1992 can still get work today
vitus's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 00:41
vitus
RAR! CHRISTIANITY!

i want to play as jesus, that would be rad. go into temples and over turn tables then go out and walk around for a few days till i found some people to cure, that would be awesome.

or play the thirty years when he was in Egypt being a rock star that fought aliens. now THATS an awesome game.
bluemeep's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 01:01
bluemeep
I loved the Wisdom Tree games. Bibleman doesn't have crap on my Bible Adventures skillz. I once boomeranged the baby Moses through three of the Pharaoh's stooges and totally remembered to pick him up afterwards.
Im OK's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 01:18
Im OK
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 01:37
deiga-the-semivaliant
Christiangamer:

If you like to talk to tomatoes,

If a squash can make you smile,

If you like to waltz with potatoes,

Up and down the produce islllleeeee...
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 01:40
Neonie
Theres a hole at the bottom of the sea
Theres a hole at the bottom of the sea
Theres a hole
Theres a hole
Theres a hole at the bottom of the sea.
topgeargorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 01:47
topgeargorilla
have we got a show for you!!
tcgiant's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 01:56
tcgiant
I wonder if Wacky Protester is going to get Rebellious Guy to hypergernomically biograbulate the microbiotic germs. That'd be sweet.
Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 01:57
Coonskin05
Fuckin Dammit...I could write a whole blog about this, but I'll just give my CliffNotes of it. It pisses me off that Christians (my own people) are more focused on people likeme saying Fucking dammit than the "christians" being hatemongers. DOn't get me, wrong, Christianity isn't about being passive, but it sure isn't about condemnation of everyone. Jesus was the ultimate Wacky Protester. He protested against the way things were, and if He was here now he would protest against this. Jesus was a radical of Love, not a harbinger of hate. Dammit I hate people that make this shit look like mainstream Christianity...
Vyruz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 02:07
Vyruz
damn, It's bible adventures for the NES all over again.
Somebody bring in the nerd, please!
that protestor guy came from that, wossname, protestand catholic or something.

@topgeargorilla: you mean that one game where you control a daiper wearing angel baby in a apocalyptic future world?
come to think of it, mind how much we have to screw up before we get anny message from above.

then again, I'm still an atheist.
Trowble's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 02:29
Trowble
@Jim Sterling: "I find it ironic that hardcore Christians have a problem with protesters."

Amen to that.
Trowble's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 02:29
Trowble
@Jim Sterling: "I find it ironic that hardcore Christians have a problem with protesters."

Amen to that.
Trowble's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 02:29
Trowble
@Jim Sterling: "I find it ironic that hardcore Christians have a problem with protesters."

Amen to that.
masterledz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 02:39
masterledz
I posted an alternate version of this on a C-blog a little while back, but I thought it might be more appropriate here:

I'm going to take this moment to pose an ontological argument for the existence of God.
(1) God is all-knowing.
(2) A know-it-all is full of crap.
(3) This game is crap.
(4) This game is reported on by Jim Sterling
(4) Therefore, Jim Sterling is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.
Mack_'s Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 03:50
Mack_
man thats gonna be a pretty hard fight ... if its for faith and all
HebrewHammer's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 03:53
HebrewHammer
I am still resusitating myself from passing out from laughter. This cannot be genuine, can it? wow
kittridge's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 05:06Image Hosted by ImageShack.us</a><br/>
kittridge
@TopGearGorilla

I noticed that you mentioned the NES Bible Games... that was on a lightish blue cartridge. Noah's Ark was teh radness, throwing bananas at livestock! My grandma got me that game from this store called "Fishers of Men", which I never understood, but man that is still one of my favorite games.

Now, this game looks weak as hell...
Fanatism's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 06:11
Fanatism
Save me Jebus!
Though if I didn't delude myself as much as I do, i'd think this was some pure christian site about love and happy dead kittens in heaven. Goodnes gracious me.

But whatever religion you can't not love bible man.
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 06:53
Professor Pew
Sweet, I bet it's more fun than Eternal Forces. I tried to play it.. it didn't work out. It was worth a few laughs however. And they are now shipping that game with bibles to US soldiers in Iraq? How are you supposed to unwind with that game?
fearian's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 07:39
fearian
what the holy fuck is that? mixxing bible scriptures with action packed fights? how?

you know, they probably could make a decent puzzle/adventure game based on da vinci code/indiana jones style cyptic mysteries where you use the bible scriptures to solve puzzles in tombs and stuff.

but noooooo.
michiyoyoshiku's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 07:45
michiyoyoshiku
The Bible says in Glataions The lord will not be mocked.

Shitting video games made in his name were exactly what the lord was thinking of when he had Paul write those letters.
Zaron's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 11:28
Zaron
I'm kind of amazed this is just now getting to Dtoid. I played this game months ago. It's hilariously bad.
GUS's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 11:35
GUS
Dude... isn't Doom the ultimate christian game? Christians hate the devil and in that game you fucking kill the devil.

Well that is my point of view, oh, and that the source material for the game isn't the best one to make a game out of, the bible has so much violence in it that would make Manhunt 2 blush.

GUS
Angry Irish's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 12:29
Angry Irish
Wow. More Christians here than I imagined.

I lost faith in Christianity when Maynard James Keenan entered my life.

"But ur name is angryirish! rnt u supposed to be catholik?"

Ahhh... Stereotypes. But then again, look at my avatar.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 13:03
deiga-the-semivaliant
GUS: I pretty much just pay attention to the New Testament, now. OT stuff isn't really what Christianity is about.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 13:04
deiga-the-semivaliant
Oh, and Jim, I would let you touch my REAL children.

Just keep it above the waist.
topgeargorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 14:38
topgeargorilla
kittridge

yep, that's the exact game. It was AWESOME!!!
GUS's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 15:20
GUS
Ok, christian dude(deiga-the-semivaliant) just allowed some stranger to tuch his daughter in the boobies.
No wonder your priests get way with that.

GUS
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 15:32
deiga-the-semivaliant
Holy shit, you were taking my post seriously??

Damn dude. Get the fuck out.
Acefowl's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 16:07
Acefowl
My favorite part of the trailer has go to be the part where they show Bible Man standing still shooting at a group of bad guys, who are also standing still shooting back, right when the announcer yells "Exciting action!" Not very often when you can call bullshit on a statement at the exact moment it's being said.

Now, if Bible Man had a couple of bladed crosses on chains attached to his forearms and they called the game War of God, then I'd have an easier time believing the whole "Action-Packed" thing.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 16:37
deiga-the-semivaliant
Holy shit, you were taking my post seriously??

Damn dude. Get the fuck out.
GUS's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 20:28
GUS
Dude, you took my post seriously?
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 20:55
Jim Sterling
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY SERIOUS BUSINESS!
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 21:48
Eschatos
Dude, you took my post seriously?

Cuz I took your post seriously.

And we took each others posts seriously...

That can mean only one thing...

Bibleman: A Fight for Faith- deathmatch!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/12/2007 23:24
king3vbo
I had better be able to kill some abortionists or Im writing an angry letter!
allisonaxe's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/13/2007 00:06
allisonaxe
... did he just call the villain "wacky protestor?" thats just wrong. so, you're saying that, if you don't agree with something, and you want to speak up to do something about it, then you're going against god? lovely. be good little sheeple!
GUS's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/13/2007 19:47
GUS
Why don't these christians just have James Randi, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Penn & Teller and others as villains???? I mean, they don't like atheists as much as I don't like religion.

GUS
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