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Beyonce wants to be in a videogame


12:40 PM on 10.08.2009
Beyonce wants to be in a videogame photo



Beyonce Knowles likes Wii Fit. Beyonce Knowles wants to be in a videogame because she likes Wii Fit. This is basically what the videogame industry is boiling down to.

"I'd like to get involved in video games, since I really love Wii Fit," says the child of destiny. "I think it would be a great idea to incorporate choreography, because, for me, my workout is way more fun when it involves dancing, as opposed to running on a boring treadmill.

"So I would love to do some kind of fitness game but incorporate dance and performance into it. I think a lot of women would enjoy that."

This is the most pointless, dumb, stupid, waste-of-time story I've written in ages, and I'm not even going to apologize. If you've just sat here and read this crap, then it's your own fault. Go complain to the pigeons for all I care.






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How is this a story?

11:30 PM on 01.12.2015
Donkey Kong meets Metal Gear in this hot new track

[Update: I am a dumb puppy who sniffs butts.] This is a super chopped up version of the DK Rap set to Mike Oldfield's "Nuclear," a song you may recognize from Metal Gear Solid V's most recent E3 trailer. It is also the song that will be played at Kyle's funeral, no matter what he says. Get used to it, MacGregor.more




3:19 PM on 10.24.2014
That only works in Metal Gear, dude

Sigh.more



View all How is this a story?






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