EA has never been the most scrupulous of companies, but one of their latest moves makes me question why the all-seeing eye of Xenu has not yet seen fit to burn the whole place to the ground.
The Chicago Bears' KR, Devin Hester, wasn't exactly thrilled with the way EA portrayed him in previous versions of their Madden football titles, so he took it upon himself to do what any overpaid, undereducated man who makes a living by hurting others and avoiding drug convictions would do; he whined like a seven year old girl with a skinned knee. EA, in turn, responded in the way that any company chronically guilty of lacking any creativity, and of milking the unassuming public in a bid to fill their own coffers with as many dollars, doubloons and pints of blood as possible would do; they capitulated, and changed Mr. Hester's speed rating in the newest iteration of Madden to an astoundingly perfect 100.
To put this move in perspective, here is a partial list of people who have previously received speed ratings of less than 100 in EA titles: Deion Sanders, Randy Moss, Carl Lewis (John Madden's Berlin Olympics: Lewis vs Der Führer 1936), Hermes (John Madden Presents: The Greek Pantheon), and Dandelion (John Madden's Watership Down).
[Via Kotaku]
Contest:
12:53 AM on 04.08.2007
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or not
*golf clap*
Why?
Because Tecmo Bo has a rating of INFINITY on his AWESOME stats.
Yeah, those were the days.
No wonder gamers get a bad wrap, it's little nerd boys like you that perpetuate the stereotype. Watch/play sports, no, pretend you do with your Wii. And I know I'll get the cool comebacks but it's these types of posts that shit on someone for no reason that make me sick. Fuck you Mr. Perfect.
Devin Hester IS fast as shit and deserves nothing less than a 100. He's the guy who ran the first play of the Super Bowl back for a TD this season. Shame on EA for being a bunch of front running sons of bitches for not noticing him until he was on a Super Bowl team. He's also a return man.. so he's generally not hurting anyone, Nex.
And Broham, you're a fucking cunt lol. Have you not gone far enough yet in our public school system to learn about satire yet?
How are you justifying calling him uneducated? He's perfectly educated for his profession. In fact, having a 4 year liberal arts degree makes him (IMHO) massively overqualified. It puts him educationally ahead of Bill Gates, Bob Costas, and many others (just 2 individuals I happen to consider intelligent).
You also make the statement that he "makes a living by hurting others". Devin Hester plays one of the least aggressive positions in football (kick returner) and had a total of NINE tackles last season. He RUNS AWAY FROM PEOPLE for a living.
If the idea here was to sound like an episode of "The O'Reilly Factor" instead of a DToid article, you've succeeded with flying colors.
Fact #2: EA doesn't care. I bet if I whine enough, they'll put me in as QB of the Colts. I'll just tell them I'm really good.
Fact #3: Some good points were raised in the comments section about the nature of Mr. Hester's particular position, and his need for education. Good points were also raised about him being paid far too much for what he does and him being none too bright. We'll call it a draw.
Fact #4: Nex's total dominance over the Riders of Broham was far more entertaining than the article.
And yeah, listening to him interview is an embarrassing ordeal.
Second, Miami football players, and football players at many schools..if you don't think they get breaks, you are naive, they make the school a lot of money, and they aren't necessarily "overqualified" just because he has a four year degree from a major university. Anyone remember the Auburn scandal from a few seasons ago?
FINALLY... takes more than speed to do what he did, it takes the ability to see the holes, break a tackle or two, and move through the field not only up and down, but left and right. What are words on his other stats?