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I proudly present The Official Destructoid Theme Song Contest. After decades of trying to figure out a way to somehow turn this into a Photoshop contest, I finally crumbled and decided to just keep it musical. I know, I know … but don’t fret, I’m sure within the next day or two Ron will have his “Draw a giant mutant cock tentacle-raping Justin Murray’s face … in bed!” contest up and you can all hit your Wacoms for some intense, uh … wacking.

Anyway, hit the jump for the complete details and all the fancy prizes, but let me just warn you; this is only the beginning of melodious epicness. I can’t spill the proverbial beans quite yet, but let me just say that if you were a dog, and you knew what I knew, you’d totally be humping someone’s leg right now.

Grand Prize (1)

The Complete Xbox 360 Rock Band game (includes Drum, wireless Guitar, and Microphone)

...and your choice of Dtoid editor as groupie.

The If You’re Not First, You’re Last Prize (5)

Niero's Funtime Mystery Box

[This weekly reminder is courtesy of the fact that you got excited at first and then your ADD and drug habit kicked in and you forgot about all about our little contest. Yes Joe Burling, I'm talking to you.]

For those of you who are not familiar with the Dtoid theme, created by half-game half-Jew Jonathan Mann, here is the original version. And again, in acapella form. And once more, performed by D.A.G.

Now that you’ve got that burnt into your soul (you can try and scrub as hard you want, it’s not coming out), you get to make your own Destructoid theme song, or remix, or you can just spam Niero’s inbox with screaming interracial porn. [Editor's note: As if I don't get enough of that from Ron Workman -Niero]

There is no restriction on what genre(s) of music you choose, how much of the original song you actually include (whether it’s you, your computers robot voice, or the Jew himself singing), and no limit on how many entries you can submit. The song should be at least two minutes in length, up to a maximum of five minutes.

Submissions should be posted in the comments for all to hear, either as a link to the Megaupload URL, Youtube, or similar site. The last rule is that you have as much fun as humanly possible and create some shizzle that will rock the house later this year at the Destructoid Battle of th--- oh, you guys almost got me. Nice try suckers!

The deadline is 11:59 PM (PST), August 2nd. Winners will be selected by the Destructoid crew on August 3rd, and just know that if you don’t win then it was Jim Sterling who swayed the vote away from you, not the Mexicans as you may have otherwise hastily assumed. Meng.






Contests Official Rules



No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




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113 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 15:59
BahamutZero
and you know what's in the box? AIDS.
Truepatriot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:02
Truepatriot
damnit anyone wanna loan me some talent?!?!?!
JJ Rage's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:06
JJ Rage
Fuck Rock Band, I want what's in the box.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:08
BahamutZero
JJ - enjoy your AIDS
galagabug 's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:08
galagabug
i know whats in the box...


nothing! absolutely nothing! you soooo stuuupid!
JJ Rage's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:13
JJ Rage
Yes! AIDS!



Wait...
Geoff's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:14
Geoff
Meng.
Sindicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:21
Sindicate
I M T3H W1NZ0RZ
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:24
Topher Cantler
Head asplode!
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:24
William Haley


"Whats in the box?!"



"Nothing! You sooo stupid!"
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:27
tazarthayoot
I canz b singin if some1z bz playin da geetarz
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:28
Wedge
Damn that is an awesome prize. Is Dale North inelligable? If OCRemix gets wind of this, could be some crazy entries c.c'
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:34
Niero
Nevermind what I said, I was wrong. The prize is the full $200 edition. Good luck!
TheBrain's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:37
TheBrain
If the winning song doesn't have a cool synthesized robot voice heads are going to roll.
BlueWolf72's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:43
BlueWolf72
ok well Ill get to work this is the commercial I made for Destructoid

click here

AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:47
AngelsDontBurn
Aww you bastards! I was actually planning on having our band do a Destructoid song, especially after everyone told me to do so. Hahaha. But our drummer isn't going to be back for good until late August! Oh well, it'll still come anyway I'm sure. :)
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:49
Justice
I was actually thinking about a dtoid rap for a while
original music coming soon!
Kif 's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:50
Kif
Oh fuckwin. This contest owns.

I guarantee there will be a Rickroll with different lyrics.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:57
Niero
haha I would love a rickroll version
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:57
Niero
A rap! Holy shit. This is gonna be hilarious.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 16:59
BahamutZero
why? are black people and culture inherently funny to you? That's racist!!!
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 17:00
BahamutZero
and I'm doing a rickroll. with the same lyrics. nothing will change. but you will have to listen anyway.
Tempus's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 17:31
Tempus
Bahamut's RickRoll ftw. Though you should at least make a video man
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 17:41
Aaron Mxy Yost
Hooray, a contest that doesn't involve photoshop! Looking forward to the results of this!
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 17:43
BahamutZero
bluewolf wins several internets for that ad. maybe a halo.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 17:50
Kryptinite
I'm on it.
MATTFOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 18:08
MATTFOO
HMMM A SONG...........
MATTFOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 18:09
MATTFOO
I DONT HAVE A XBOX.....
BlueWolf72's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 18:09
BlueWolf72
half way done... this is fun
monosylabik's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 18:12
monosylabik
hahahah i will win this.....i shall win.
but now i will go watch dawn of the dead.
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 18:19
atheistium
Jim's already voted against me and those Mexicans just want to make me prom queen!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 19:47
king3vbo
Wait I thought I already won this one a real long time ago :P

Great its time to bust out the guitars and synthesizers and the massive amounts of the alcohol and write a masterpiece
charliesuh's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 20:00
charliesuh
Yo Haley, there is already a Dtoid theme song, if not a couple, but there is that main one
Leon-G's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 21:45
Leon-G
Sorry to be a bit off topic but as long as we're talkin 'bout contests, William, would you be able to drop the date of the next portmanteau?
podobuzz's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 22:10
podobuzz
Destructoid gets +10 internets for the Dawn screencap.
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/02/2007 22:43
William Haley
@Im OK, you know what? You're OK. =)

Leon, portmanteau's will be resuming within a week (eventually settling on Friday's or Thursdays permanently) and will become an ongoing feature. I'm glad you like it, it's fun seeing how people figure them out.
Roryzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2007 00:44
Roryzilla
Good thing I'm getting a synthesizer tomorrow. an alesis micron fyi. my friends have some circuit bent gameboys and nes'. i'll see what i can do. destructoid = win.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2007 02:48
Justice
If we're british and we win do we still get rock band?
Or do we get a UK specific prize which is a cup of tea and crumpets/scones
Alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2007 07:04
Alex
My Girlfriend and me are on making the song with the DS (band brothers, homebrew drums and guitar) and with the bongos for the gamecube (donkey konga)

We will get the xbox360 shit! (want to buy a xbox 360 anyways..)
De-Filer's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2007 09:57
De-Filer
The mystery box is probably a Dick in A Box. See here... http://youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA (Thank you SNL...)
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2007 13:08
William Haley
Extra points awarded to anyone who uses Mario Paint to make their song...
dprim3's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2007 19:32
dprim3
I should do a Shatner-style spoken word version.

I know that if I don't at least win "most wtf?" I'll win gayest.
Founder's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/04/2007 01:07
Founder
<3 the reference to Se7en.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2007 18:01
Aaron Mxy Yost
Hey, a bump!
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2007 18:58
DJDuffy
awesome! Good thing I've been taking guitar lessons...I'm going to attempt to rock your socks off
Savant's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2007 19:14
Savant
I can be groupie... or a drum player. Whatever. :)
Pick me if you win!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2007 22:18
king3vbo
I gots an idea thats gonna rock your fuggin socks off
now I just need to stop drinking and start making it :P
Detry's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/07/2007 04:35
Detry
Boomp boomp boomp.

Be-bop be-bop be-bop be-bop be-bop.

DESTRUCTOID. BITCH.

Boomp boomp boomp.

Be-bop be-bop be-bop be-bop be-bop.

DESTRUCTOID.
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/08/2007 19:29
king3vbo
WTF? Am I really the first one to enter? I thought I was procrastinating... anyways

I gots 2. Heres a new one I made this afternoon (forgive me Im not much of a singer)

And here is the cover I did of the original Dtoid theme song a few months ago, I figure I would upload it for anyone that hasnt heard it/so I can win 2 prizes... (insert evil laugh)
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/09/2007 01:38
William Haley
Out of all the entries so far, that was definitely the best one.
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