It's obvious that when I get to play Bayonetta, I am going to masturbate over it. Hence the quandary: How can I play this game yet still crack off a frothy squirting from my throbby piping at the same time? Platinum Games has the answer!
Bayonetta's "Very Easy Automatic" mode is designed for noobs, but should also be perfectly suited to the chronic wanker. Able to be played with one hand, socially maladjusted gamers like myself will be able to pull their plonkers, issue a fine stringy jet of minging muck-magma, and clean up the pubic marshland without ever having to stop the game. Genius.
The mode has been demonstrated in video form (after the jump) and looks absolutely ludicrous in its simplicity. Luckily, of course, the real game is much tougher for veteran players who want a challenge. This is actually a really good idea. Real gamers get their hardcore, frustratingly difficult game, while the morons and babies of the world get to press one button and watch all the cool stuff happen. Everybody's a winner.
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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It completely eliminates casual gamers' need to bitch about how high the barriers of entry are for "hardcore" action games. In fact, I even used the phrase "Very Easy Automatic" months ago, building on Devil May Cry's "Easy Automatic" setting created many years back. As an added bonus, maybe the players will actually bother to learn something instead of just complain and give up to go play Wii Sports.
I also know for a fact the game will have some extreme difficulty like "Bayonetta must be raped", so we're ALL happy in the end. Especially the tentacle monsters.
i can already see this factoring into like 85% of all its reviews: "game is way too easy and can be beaten by mashing one single button. awesome rack on her, though."
"The frantic pace of the action and the impressive quantity of enemies is matched only by the frantic pace of my wrist and the impressive quantity of my semen."
For someone with a 'fiance' you sure talk about masturbation alot Jim.
Also, I think it's a great idea. It doesn't hurt the core demographic as they can just ignore it. It brings people into the genre who otherwise would not have been interested. And it sells more copies of the game, helping the publisher and developer.
For someone with a 'fiance' you sure talk about masturbation alot Jim.
Also, I think it's a great idea. It doesn't hurt the core demographic as they can just ignore it. It brings people into the genre who otherwise would not have been interested. And it sells more copies of the game, helping the publisher and developer.
For someone with a 'fiance' you sure talk about masturbation alot Jim.
Also, I think it's a great idea. It doesn't hurt the core demographic as they can just ignore it. It brings people into the genre who otherwise would not have been interested. And it sells more copies of the game, helping the publisher and developer.
Thank God I won't need to worry about coating my controller in bleach smelling frosting. My 360's D-pad is already unresponsive out of the box, I don't need the thumbsticks to follow suit.
Although most gaming journalists who heard and reported this news today likely had your same thought, Jim. Note that nearly everyone else listened to that over-riding voice in their head that said, "nope, you really shouldn't go there in writing up this post -- not now, not ever . . ." I guess I give you points for going there . . . but damn man, did you really have to go into such explicit detail, complete with descriptive asimiles and flowery prose? I'll be having nightmares about your "public marshland" for days.
Why is it that when Nintendo announced this for their title, everyone was all "well fuck nintendo, I buy games to PLAY" and yet Bayonetta gets praise?
It isn't exactly innovation though, I played DMC3 one-handed back on the ps2, when I had a girlfriend who liked to ring me up a lot. (the other hand was on my mobile)
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Contest:
10:00 AM on 08.25.2009
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Interesting though, I suppose this mode's to let people fly through the game doing everything as stylishly and effortlessly as possible.
It completely eliminates casual gamers' need to bitch about how high the barriers of entry are for "hardcore" action games. In fact, I even used the phrase "Very Easy Automatic" months ago, building on Devil May Cry's "Easy Automatic" setting created many years back. As an added bonus, maybe the players will actually bother to learn something instead of just complain and give up to go play Wii Sports.
I also know for a fact the game will have some extreme difficulty like "Bayonetta must be raped", so we're ALL happy in the end. Especially the tentacle monsters.
Thank you, Jim Sterling.
What's going on with that head in the background? Great now I'm going to be looking for hidden innuendos all day. Thanks Jim.
That's like asking someone to mash X to advance the story, FOR THE WHOLE GAME.
Also, I think it's a great idea. It doesn't hurt the core demographic as they can just ignore it. It brings people into the genre who otherwise would not have been interested. And it sells more copies of the game, helping the publisher and developer.
EVERYBODY WINS
Also, I think it's a great idea. It doesn't hurt the core demographic as they can just ignore it. It brings people into the genre who otherwise would not have been interested. And it sells more copies of the game, helping the publisher and developer.
EVERYBODY WINS!
Also, I think it's a great idea. It doesn't hurt the core demographic as they can just ignore it. It brings people into the genre who otherwise would not have been interested. And it sells more copies of the game, helping the publisher and developer.
EVERYBODY WINS!
I think I also need to go to the toilet.
The 'fiance' became a 'wife' almost a year ago.
Can't wait for the hands-on at London Expo. Finally the event's worth going to, and all it's taken is one stripping woman.
It isn't exactly innovation though, I played DMC3 one-handed back on the ps2, when I had a girlfriend who liked to ring me up a lot. (the other hand was on my mobile)
Most of the population will be... putting their more dominate hand to better(?) use...
that way I can still see the game to completion if I get stuck (though I'll try to play it on the normal difficulty)
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