Søren Kierkegaard once wrote, "I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both." Mr. Linde, taking the philospher's words to heart, left Washington early yesterday to figure out exactly what "it" is, in an effort to either do, or not do "it."
Before leaving, he sent me a short missive asking if I would be so kind as to fill in for him on his weekly Bargain Bin Laden article, and if I would "please refrain from quoting the Danish." Having already failed his second request, I should at least make this BBL thing happen; so men, hold your ladies tight, snuggle up close, and prepare to have your minds blown through the wall behind you.
Hit the jump for a look at R-Type Final, the shockingly inexpensive swan song to one of the most widely revered 2D shooter series in the history of man.
R-Type Final (PlayStation 2)
Developed by: Irem
Released: February 2, 2004
Bargain Binned: $7.99 at Game Crazy, 150 Goozex points
Over the last two decades, the 2D shooter genre has had a rise and fall similar to that of the 2D fighter genre. While 2D fighters once drew thousands to arcades, recently they've become solely the realm of the hardcore gamer, the sort who spends hours mastering the art of parries, super combos and the Shun Goku Satsu. Similarly, where 2D shooters once flooded arcades and home consoles with gamers, they have devolved recently into the bullet-hell sub-genre, a type of game reserved only for those with insanely fast reflexes and the patience to memorize the patterns of the thousands of bullets that float in mesmerizing waves reminiscent of the aftereffects of psilocybin through the levels of the Ikarugas and Radiant Silverguns of modern times. Thankfully, R-Type Final retains just enough of the user-friendly shooters of the late 80s, while providing the shooter savants with moments of bullet-rain that would make George Patton a bit moist.
The story of the R-Type series is pretty typical for these sorts of titles. The Bydo, a seemingly alien menace, have launched an assault on post-apocalyptic Earth and the only thing standing between them and an all-you-can-fondle tentacle love-in is your tiny, fragile ship and an itchy trigger finger. If this were 1989, I could make some clever jab at the government's reliance on overactive military might to solve all of their problems, but since our current administration seems so hell-bent on turning the other cheek I ... hey! Wait a second! That joke still applies! God bless America!
Remember a few moments ago when I referred to this game as a 2D shooter? Well, that isn't entirely accurate. The game functions on a 2D plane, but the backgrounds are rendered in full 3D. This allows the title to toss some stunning scenery at you such as the giant ship in level 3 which you fly above, below, swirl around and end up blowing your way through. Sadly, the developers seem to be overreaching themselves at times, and the inevitable slowdown -- particularly in the set piece that I just mentioned -- is unavoidable.
The gameplay itself is a very slightly updated take on the R-Type games of old. You have three color-coded weapons systems, "options" that function as vaguely sentient lethal shield/guns and variable flight speeds, but the true joy of Irem's series has always been in the environments. In that regard, the final chapter does not disappoint. From waterlogged swamps to burned out cities, everything is rendered beautifully and even in the desolate regions of outer space, you're forced to pilot your ship through some frustratingly maze-like structures all while blasting creatures that look suspiciously similar to human reproductive organs.
Merely repackaging the shooters of old with a shiny modern veneer would only offer twenty minutes of replayability, but thankfully Irem decided to throw enough unlockables and fan service into the title to keep players busy for months. From the 100+ ships that are only revealed by playing through the game multiple times to the hidden level variants, R-Type Final is a high-note for the series to go out on. Unfortunately, most of the ships are merely variations on a theme, and even with branching levels and secret routes through the game the single-player portion of the title is incredibly short, once you get a feel for where enemies will start cropping up.
In an era where games come packaged on media that routinely allows for 40+ hour long adventures, perhaps the 2D shooter is a tad too simple for modern audiences. R-Type Final is one of the finest examples of the genre ever constructed, and anyone who considers themselves a fan of this halcyon breed of game would be well served by its eight dollar price tag, just so long as you remember you aren't getting the next Final Fantasy Chocobo Blitzkrieg.
Contest:
12:53 PM on 08.04.2007
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I need to get a PS2 so I can play this and Gradius V again.
The R-Type series is no stranger to sexual innuendo. The second boss of the original game is basically made up of giant, disgusting penial tissue and vaginas.
Since I was probably under ten years old when I first played the game, I didn't see the connection. But now it's obvious.
R-Type Final takes the sexual content one step further in it's final level. Instead of the expected "alien lair" or "space fortress" one would expect from the final level of the final game know for it's alien lairs and space fortresses, you get a brown screen. That's it. Brown.
A few seconds into the level, two human silloutes appear on the brwon background. One looks vaugely female, and the other male. And they start screwing.
A more unbelievable final level could not be asked for. Are the Bydo some how projecting their thoughts (or ours) for analysis or communication? Are they trying to distract the pilot/player with the one thing they know humans want more than anthing else? Or are they just watching porn?
Either way, it was an inspired, thoguht provoking and memorable way to send the series off. There are alternate last levels, one where your ship is transformed into a Bydo fighter and you must defeat your own ships, and another that plays like a 2D fighters "survival mode" where you only have one life and no continues, and must somehow survive a huge number of obsticles and enemies.
But that porn level beats them all. It's the one I'll be telling my grand kids about.
Those 100+ ships he's talking just about all function differently, by the way. Meaning they each have different weapons, missiles, and abilities.
Also, in addition to the regular level selection in the game, there are several levels that differ (or are only accessable) depending on your performance on previous levels or even the last time you played that particular level.
The level in the main article picture up there is differenet every time you play it depending on how you killed the boss the LAST time you played through. It goes from being an above ground desert stage to a frozen underwater stage as well as a few "transition" stages in between.
This game probably has more replay value than any other shmup I've ever played. Couple that with the fact that it's helluva fun and super cheap and you've got a can't miss title.
BUY BUY BUY!!
I especially like the geometry-wars one:
Farewell R-Type... R-Type Final Stage 6.2 R-Typer Level
I bought R-Type Final a while back, but didn't really get anywhere in it. Unfortunately, while I love shmups, I'm now old and lazy and not in the least bit hardcore anymore. It may sound like a small thing, but what kept me from getting further in R-Type Final was that you had to restart the section every time you died. In Gradius V you could set it so that you just reappeared where you died, which meant the repetition required to get further into the game didn't seem as excessive.