Big shock -- Bully: Scholarship Edition is released today for the Wii and Xbox 360 and right on cue, here come the parade of prehistoric scaremongers who want to see it banned under that age-old veil of protecting the children. Oh save the children, because it's not like they invented bullying in the first place!

Various groups representing a collective four million teachers worldwide have united to try and stop retailers selling Rockstar's controversial game in which schoolboy Jimmy Hopkins tackles bullies in a way that actually works, instead of telling ineffective teachers who have no power to stop kids being the nasty little shits they actually are.

Emily Noble, head of the Canadian Teacher's Federation, thinks that retailers should be responsible, because of how damaging to an otherwise peaceful schoolyard utopia games can be. "What it does is it encourages kids to target other kids, to be a bully with other kids," warbled Noble, who seems to believe that children are angels. "This doesn't help us as teachers in the work that we're doing at school. It also targets teachers at the school as well." 

It amuses me that people who work with children the most seem to have it in their heads that kids are innocent little flowers until outside influences corrupt them. Having both a working memory and a young sister in school, I am more than aware of what cruel, spiteful, amoral little shits children can be. The idea that they need a game to encourage bullying, a practice as old as mankind itself, is not only wrong, but completely and utterly laughable. 

At least Michael Hoechsmann, the professor who recently labeled violent games as "barbaric," has displayed a modicum of intelligence. "As tempting as it may seem, I'm not so certain that banning this will somehow result in a more peaceful and more loving school population," he added, and quite rightly too. 

Children are evil. This game is influenced by kids, not the other way around. Get over it.